The Googly

Thunder Downunder: Last Hurrah

Obviously the crew at the Shed aren't the only souls upset at the closing of The Googly on the eve of the northern international summer. Sreesanth's pink Punjabi pyjamas has caused his feminine side to shine and upon hearing of the council decision to condemn, demolish and redevelop the dungeon he couldn't hold back the tears when his boyfriend told him the sad but inevitable news.

I propose a last ditch caption contest for this photograph. Give us your best shot and celebrate what has been one of the funniest blogs in the English blogging pavilion.

At the Shed, we will be soldiering on at 99.94 with regular contributions from The Tooting Trumpet and if we win the lottery and hide his drumsticks, perhaps the esteemed editor of this publication too.

It's been a fun ride. I'm sure we'll all cross paths again. And anything that makes Sreesanth sook, in my book, can't be all bad!

[Nesta Quin]

Grass roots cricket is the place to be

This is my farewell piece here for the Googly and it's hard to know where to begin or what to write.  With only one piece left, I wondered whether to continue with the off-stage antics of Shane Warne - thinking the tram-crash fest in Melbourne last week - or whether to write about something closer to home.

I've chosen home because I'm sure you all know about the other thing! So last weekend I went to our season opener. A triangualar tournament of Twenty/20s between Lossie, Elgin and Fochabers. What a day to open the cricket season. Minus about 10, no-one there but me and the prettiest ground in the north-east looking dreadful because all the trees are still in full winter mode.

A ground that delights in being situated beside the Spey and lined on all sides by lovely trees was left looking like a 12 year-old's football playground at the side of the A96!

It didn't matter - my team hammered the opposition to win their matches and to my surprise, enchanted with some damn fine cricket. The match I'd been to before this had been Australia v India at the MCG. Sitting in the sun there, I had been entranced at the sight of Ishant Sharma befooling the Aussies with his magnificant bowling, and equally been impressed by Gilchrist walking when palpably not out. Last weekend, everyone out walked before the umpires even gave them out. It was cricket as I know it.

There could be no greater contrast between freezing to death at Fochabers, and having to leave the MCG because it was too hot. Amateurs playing for nothing but the love of the game - professionals earning their livings, but there was something that made these two experiences the same. I was the fan at both matches. I cared. In fact I probably applauded my mate Dave with more enthusiasm when he got a wicket than I did Ishant.

This may be the end of The Googly, but it won't be the end of fans wanting to have a voice.

It's been great fun being part of this and I hope all readers will find their way to other sites. Here at The Googly we have directed readers to check out many up and coming England cricketers - so follow our stars. Last year Toots and I brought you all the news of the County Cricket and hopefully you enjoyed that. Keep the faith. County Cricket is not dead. Outside the Counties, not just here in Scotland, cricket is a fine place to be. See this little song from someone in Oxford:

If you go down to the Parks tomorrow, you’re sure of a big surprise,

If you go down to the Parks tomorrow, you’d better go down in whites,

For ev’ry fan that ever there was, will gather there for certain, because

Tomorrow’s the day the Oxford UCCE play Nottinghamshire

Ev’ry cricket fan who’s been good, Is sure to see 3

England

players,

Including a leading wicket taker, and lots of runs beside

Beneath the spires where nobody works, they’ll bat and field as long as they please,

Cos that the way the cricketers have their innings.

All the best to my readers. Follow the links and you'll find me elsewhere.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig}

Thunder Downunder: West Indies tour squad announced

In their infinite collective wisdom the Australian selection committee recently announced the touring squad to tour the West Indies beginning in May.

There were few surprises in the squad with Simon Katich and Stuart MacGill returning to the Test squad and David Hussey and Shaun Marsh earning their first tour with the ODI squad.

Most interest has centred on 25 year old left-arm wrist spinner Beau Casson. Like MacGill, Casson left his home state of Western Australia to try his luck on the big turning Sydney pitch and after only one complete season it has paid a handsome dividend.

Capable of prodigious turn and with a well disguised wrong'un Casson is also a more than handy bat as his 88 in the Pura Cup final showed.

It is a grand chance for the young man to race ahead of young spinning rivals Dan Cullen and Cullen Bailey and if MacGill, only two matches back from surgery, aggravates his tender wrist then Beau Casson may get a red carpet ride into the Baggygreen brigade.  Full squads over the jump...

TEST SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Beau Casson NSW 25 yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
Ben Hilfenhaus TAS 25yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Phil Jaques NSW 28yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Simon Katich NSW 32yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Stuart MacGill NSW 37yrs
Ashley Noffke QLD 30yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs

LIMITED OVERS SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Nathan Bracken NSW 30yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
James Hopes QLD 29yrs
David Hussey VIC 30yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Shaun Marsh WA 24yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs
Cameron White VIC 24yrs

[Nesta Quin] [Image:Getty]

Thunder Downunder: Warne Walks

In what is probably a augury tale in regards to English County cricket, Shane Warne has opted out on the final year of his not so insignificant contract with Hampshire for business and personal reasons.

However, Shane will still be playing cricket for the Jaipur based Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League that begins in around three weeks time.

Warne has been instrumental in recruiting his Hampshire team-mates Dimi Mascarenhas and Shane Watson to Jaipur and I can only imagine that Hampshire chairman Rod Brangrove is less than impressed with Warne’s actions despite his diplomatic public utterings.

The rupee-laden Indian T20 tournaments, both official and unsanctioned, are affecting cricket at the top levels in a way that we haven’t seen since the 1970’s with World Series Cricket and the 1980’s with the questionable rebel tours to the then Apartheid dominated South Africa.

In the last few weeks we have seen New Zealand and South Africa field less than their best teams in Test matches and it would seem that only the richest cricketing nations will be able to prevent their best players from falling to the temptation of easy money on the sub-continent.

Cricket Australia, well aware of the long-term damage that rebel organisations can cause to the game, have so far been willing to accomodate their best players but a few fringe players have opted out of contracts to take a full-time place in India.

Jason Gillespie while still contracted to the national board retired from first-class cricket and is now preparing to play in India. Brad Hogg likewise. There is a suspicion that Adam Gilchrist’s decision to retire was made all the easier by the truckloads of cash he will receive in India.

There are rumblings in England that there could soon be a player revolt at many of their best players missing out on the gold rush and if that happens, and here at The Shed we hope it does not, then only Australia and India will be relatively unaffected by this new league.

Although I am anticipating the IPL with some enthusiasm I’m beginning to see the dangers it holds for the rest of the cricketing landscape. I can see a time in the not so distant future where only two or three nations reguarly compete year round with their best eleven.

And that, however you look at it, cannot be good for the game of cricket.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: In Memory of Old Bill

It is with a heavy heart that the crew at The Shed return from their enforced cyberspace exile. Bill Brown, Australia’s oldest surviving Test player passed away in Brisbane last night after 95 fruitful years serving his family and country with humility, courage and poise.

There are few within the Australian cricketing family that are not saddened by his demise. He was the grandfather of the baggygreen and his loss is deeply felt within the fraternity.

It is regretably the end of an era. Old Bill, as he was affectionately known, was the last surviving Australian player pre-WWII and probably our most loved former captain. Softly spoken and forever self-depreciating, Bill was a great storyteller who still made guest appearances well into his 90’s and never charged a cent for his time. His wisdom, generosity, experience and wit will be sorely missed.

An Invincible, Bill’s international career began at Trent Bridge in 1934. He was an intelligent and reliable opener who often provided the perfect foil for Bradman’s later exploits. At the crease Bill was more of an artist than a tradesman and he was renowned more for his placement than his power. In his second Test, at Lords, he secured his maiden Test century. The home of cricket was a ground that became a personal favourite.

During the first televised Test, at Lords in 1938, Bill carried his bat scoring 206 and I presume those wealthy enough to possess a television witnessed a sublime innings. No opening batsman since has achieved a greater total when not out at innings close. He once remarked that his proudest moment was when he took his grandson up to the Long Room to see his name in gold on those hallowed boards. Lords held a special place in Bill’s heart as it does for many within the cricketing world.

Like others of his generation he lost his best years and more than his fair share of mates to WWII where he served his community with distinction. A RAAF pilot who served in New Guinea during the failed Japanese invasion of Northern Australia he never marched on ANZAC Day because he felt he “didn’t do enough”.

The first match after the war was the inaugural Test against New Zealand and Bill was given the honour and responsibility of captaining the side. The year after against India at the MCG Bill was the victim of the questionable tactics of Indian bowler Vinoo Mankad for the second time in consecutive matches.

Mankaded in Sydney, Bill spoke to Vinoo about the dismissal after play and Vinoo gave his word that if there was ever to be a repeat he would warn him first. Proving himself a man with little honour Vinoo repeated the tactic, without warning, when Bill was on 99. Not unlike recent events this summer passed, there are two sides to this story. Ultimately it depends upon who you would prefer to believe. However, one fact is beyond question, Indian and Australian cricket has a long bitter history of unsportsmanlike behaviour.

Leaving that argument for another day, Old Bill was patience, strength, humility and forgiveness personified. News Ltd journalist, Robert Craddock visited him at his bedside the day before he passed on and Bill was as fearless facing death as he was confronting Japanese shrapnel or the new ball on an uncovered greentop.

Yesterday, Australia lost one of it’s greatest men. His memory will be undoubtedly cherished.

He is survived by his wife Barbara, sons Peter, Geoffrey and Steve, his 10 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: The Walrus and the Vegan

Liverpool's most famous non-cricketing export once melodiously mused from across the Atlantic, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". It is a phrase that has struck a chord at the Shed every day this past week. Peg, her hair in rollers under a nylon floral scarf, is convinced that Yoko is to blame.

Since returning back to the valley where the crayfish are free and the apples are plenty, much discussion  - and with each beer thirstily consumed - increasing speculation has centred on the recent homogenisation of Australian pitches. Once upon a time in a not so distant past, each major arena in each individual state had a different type of surface. Davo and I have spoken at length about this interesting and endangered phenonema and it was my intention to share what was gleaned with our delightful and outspoken readers.

Alas, as I began planning the research for this topic that encompasses history, geography, pedology, climatology, entomology, ecology, sociology, pathology, botany, geology, hydrology, philosophy, politics, horticulture and naturally, many cricketing assumptions, Davo's feral sister Nikki arrived unheralded, unwashed and uninvited and has caused chaos from the moment she began squatting in the Shed.

I won't waste any space on this wretched confused creature except to say that she identifies as vegan and delights in attempting to make others feel guilty by the presence of her assumed superiority. You all know the type. Suffice to say that the rest of us have been heartily enjoying bacon and eggs for breakfast, lobster and chicken for lunch and thick, juicy under-done steaks for dinner. 

Unfortunately much of this week has been spent dealing with the troubles Nikki has created and no time could be found to investigate and communicate the implications and likely scenarios of all Australian pitches being alike. Perhaps next week, perhaps never. Life is too unpredictable.

I would have also enjoyed conveying some snippets of wisdom from John Buchanan's excellent, intelligent and wonderfully written new book. Especially his thoughts on the T20 format but that too will have to wait. If you are impatient buy it, you won't be disappointed it is a contempary cricketing classic. 

Hopefully in the coming week's contributions we can all discuss;
    - the changing nature of Australian cricket due to terminal drought
    - a controversial suggestion that T20 should be a fifteen man game with unlimited rotations
    - the problems apparent in the entire Australian team - BIg Stu excepted - exclusively playing limited overs cricket for 10 months
    - the exodus of Australian coaches with associated assistants and the benefits and risks of Australians being in charge of all Test playing nations except England, India and South Africa.

It has occurred that another unseen misfortune may intervene between now and when next we meet folks, so if you have any thoughts about any of the aforementioned cricketing conundrums or advice on how to dispose of an unwanted intransient vegan parvenu, please leave a comment.

Musings on the latter are most urgent, so don't delay and while you go about your business give a thought to what an orgiastically sated and outrageously stoned Scouser chanted whilst content and contained in a  hessian bag on honeymoon in Amsterdam many moons ago, Give Peace A Chance. We are trying valiantly at the Shed and I can assure you it is tiresome, even for 4 days, living peacefully with a flighty flaky frosty fundamentalist feminist food fascist .

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: A New Era Begins

January 4, 2007, the fourth day of the fifth Ashes Test, has become one of the most bittersweet days remembered in recent Australian cricket history. Before lunch, Ricky Ponting and his men secured a perfect 5-nil series scoreline winning not only The Ashes but also immortality writing their names alongside Warwick Armstrong's legendary 1920/21 team.

Although both team's defeated their opponents in emphatic fashion the original achievement has always been overshadowed by the folly and waste of continental war that ended less than three years previous. It is a morbid reality that England sacrificed many of their finest men during World War I and were consequently seriously undermanned and unprepared for their first Test series after an eight year absence from the international arena. Truth be told, a complete shellacking was expected.

The same cannot be said for the 2006/07 series and in due course the Australian team that regained the Ashes after the narrow shock loss in 2005 will be remembered as one of the Baggygreen's best ever collectives. It was a day and an event to saviour. It was also a time for reminiscing, recollection and recognition. It was the day that three of Australia's greatest modern warriors retired from the international arena. It was truly, the end of an era.   

In a near perfect finale, Glenn McGrath (124 Tests) and Shane Warne (145 Tests) both took wickets from their last deliveries in Test cricket and Justin Langer (105 Tests) finished the match not out with Matthew Hayden as the most successful opening partnership in Australian history scored the 42 runs needed to secure the sweetest of crushing victories.

That historic and emotional match was the last time Australia contested a Test and early next week the Australian selectors will announce the men chosen to replace the experienced triumvirate.

Warne was peerless and unarguably unique. His natural successor, Stuart Macgill, a proven matchwinner with 198 Test scalps, is no certainty of selection due in part to his recent knee surgery and overwhelmingly because of his abrasive persona.

Macgill was given an opportunity to display leadership and maturity on the Australia 'A' tour of Pakistan in September but failed miserably by abusing umpires and opposing batsman on several occasions. There were unconfirmed reports of other disrespectful indescretions and on return to Australia he was duly summoned to Cricket Australia headquarters for a stern discussion about his future.

It is not unusual for a player to be effectively banned from selection for an attitude outside the norm in Australian cricket. Dean Jones, Michael Bevan and Greg Matthews are three examples of players at the top of their game who have been subjected to the administrator's wrath because of their inability to gel with team-mates. Unfortunately, Stuart falls into the same category yet I expect him to be selected. He deserves his chance regardless of his natural surliness and the other options Brad Hogg, Dan Cullen and Cullen Bailey are yet to consistently impress at Test level. One thing is certain, there will be a spinner in the selected twelve despite Australia's abundant fast bowling stocks.

Glenn McGrath was effectively replaced before he retired by the equally metronomic Stu Clark. Not suggesting that Stu is as good as Glenn but he has proven himself good enough to consistently excel at international level. Clark is from the same grade club as McGrath and has been playing second fiddle since his elite cricket career began a decade ago. Freed from the great man's long shadow it will not be surprising to see Big Stu emerge as the new general of Australia's fast bowling brigade. 

The beginning of a new era is always an exciting time. With a fit Brett Lee and Stu Clark certain to play, the Australian selectors will in all likelihood select Mitchell Johnson and Shaun Tait to accompany them in the twelve. This will give Ponting the option of playing four quicks against the Sri Lankans. This is an alternative he is likely to consider as the Lankans have never coped with the fast bouncy nature of Australian pitches. In fact, Sri Lanka are yet to win a Test in Australia and have lost every series contested by considerable margins.

Ponting, like every other cricket lover on the continent, is seduced by the imagined violent razzle-dazzle that Tait and Lee bowling in partnership would produce. It is something that we are all anxious to witness but only at the expense of the spinner for Mitchell Johnson wholeheartedly deserves to debut at his home ground in front of his family and community. It is the next natural step on Johnno's ascendency to cricketing greatness and I'm confident that the selectors will oblige.

Langer's replacement will be Phil Jaques who scored a blistering 167 against Western Australia last weekend. He is the obvious successor after scoring thousands of runs over the last four seasons and it will be interesting to see how the new opening partnership develops.

Langer's obstinancy was a perfect foil to Hayden's belligerence and their record is unmatched in Australian cricket history. Like Hayden, Jaques likes to go after the bowling from ball one and with two similar players opening it may take a few matches to work out a successful strategy that suits both batsman. The Thunder suggests that Hayden will play well within himself early on and allow the younger Jaques to settle and play his natural game.

There is enormous pressure on Jaques to succeed and if he doesn't make a significant contribution by Boxing Day his place in the team will be under severe pressure. The ruthless and uber-competitive nature of Australian cricket has little patience for failure and the next few months will be the most important in Phil Jaques professional cricket career. All of us at the Shed wish him well and hope that he can solidify his place and continue to score in the Baggygreen for the next decade.

Sri Lanka are in for a tough series with many in the Australian team keen to impress. An end of an era heralds the beginning of a new one and invariably it is accompanied by turmoil and change. The national team will be playing a record number of Tests in the next 18 months with the expectation of having an experienced and well-drilled squad primed for the 2009 Ashes. Generational change is always difficult in a sporting context and an interesting and hopefully entertaining summer and beyond awaits. 

The Thunder's dozen for the First Test.

Hayden
Jaques
Ponting
Hussey
Clarke
Symonds
Gilchrist
Lee
Clark
Johnson
Macgill
Tait

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Maximum Hate for Minimal Reason

A few weeks back I read on a major British website a description of Mitchell Johnson that I found abhorrent in the extreme. A contributor wrote, with some delight I expect, that Mitch was a ‘knuckle-dragger’.

At the time I dismissed it as an ignorant aberration for surely no sane person would publicly denigrate people of Aboriginal ancestry as being sub-human. I was wrong. I'd forgotten that illusions of racial superiority aren't genetic but a behaviour that is learned.

Perhaps coincidentally, the very next day I read of a dozen learned British institutions that are refusing to hand over the stolen bones of some 2000 Australian natives. Their families have fought at great expense financially and emotionally in British courts since the 1980s for their return. All they ask is that their ancestor's remains be finally laid to rest in the appropriate cultural setting.

The reasons for the research are apparently secret but it is known that the remains are still required after a century of abuse and disrespect. You can make up your own mind as to why the bones of people of Aboriginal descent are needed for testing by anthropologists. The original stated reason for the grave-robbing was to prove conclusively that Australian Aboriginals weren't quite human but a sub-species of Homo Sapien.

These experiments have continued unabated for over a century at semblant seats of learning such as Oxford and Cambridge with hardly a peep from the general British population or the academics involved.

How does this deplorable example of an empire's indifference relate to cricket?

In light of the continued racial vilification of Andrew Symonds in India, the above is given as a cushioned example of the consequences of inaction when confronted with ignorance and hate. These mental poisons, if not confronted when they appear, become the established norm. The written history of humanity is littered with this destructive pattern.   

The BCCI took a similar gutless approach this last fortnight when it refused to acknowledge the racist chants emanating loudly from the grandstands of Chandigarh, Vadodora, Nagpur and Mumbai. They were all aimed at the same player, the only member of the Australian team with African ancestry.

The Indian Board and match referee Chris Broad sat on their grubby collective hands and as each match passed the tolerated abuse became more vicious and organised.

I presume that the ICC will also sweep this under the plush Dubai carpet and hope that now that the series has ended so has this most distasteful occurence. Unfortunately that won't be the case, the snake has escaped.   

I have little doubt that the mute response of the relevant authorities to this cretinous public display of hatred will have consequences for Australian cricket this summer. Australia, like everywhere else, is not immune to the ridiculousness and foolishness of racist idiots. Add booze, a hot sun, an Indian touring squad and the indifferent treatment of a popular cricketer and you have a recipe that will make the Police Sargeant in charge of the cells a very busy man indeed.   

When it does occur Downunder, public racism is stamped on quickly and the offenders publicly humiliated and punished. During South Africa's last tour complaints were made of racist remarks from the outer in Perth and after a police investigation the perpetrators, all refugees from post-Apartheid South Africa, were prosecuted. James Sutherland, Cricket Australia's chief administrator, has lobbied all authorities involved and there is a legislated zero tolerance policy in place and any person yelling a racially-motivated obscenity - non-racial is apparently OK - will be dealt with harshly.

The timing of these events has been curious to say the least. I wrote last week of the unsporting and disrespectful behaviour of sometimes Indian opening bowler Sreesanth and his verbal targeting of Symonds. It is surely not a coincidence that the racial taunts appeared soon after. Andrew has toured India before without incident, in fact on the last tour he was treated as a hero after his efforts installing a roof and water tank for an orphanage that Matt Hayden and a few flush Christian mates privately finance.

Organised racist chants are not new in India, the most notorious being the disgusting denigration of Desmond Haynes in Bangalore in 1982. However, up until this series these affronts were isolated. This tour has shown that racial taunting from Indian spectators is a national phenomenon with momentum and I am reasonably certain that if the authorities had treated the first incident at Chandigarh seriously then all would be forgotten by now. The cricket administration's lukewarm acceptance of racist taunting encouraged its proliferation and growth. In doing so the very people that are employed to nurture the grand game have assisted in dragging it into the sewer.

Mention must be made of the stoicism and conviction of the victim, Andrew Symonds. He has chosen to not respond to the baiting and let his bat do the talking. He topped the aggregate and averages for the series all at a strike rate well in excess of a hundred. In adversity a man can learn much about himself and Roy has gained plenty from this series. He has emerged a better and wiser cricketer and that I propose is the best reply to the ignorant miscreants.   

I have experienced nothing that can compare to the loathsome display from last night's Mumbai crowd. Watching Andrew Symond's sad expression and slumped shoulders as he fielded on the green expanse of the Wankhede Stadium, against a backdrop of literally thousands of people in unison squealing and acting like monkeys was, in my mind, the saddest thing I have ever witnessed in my 25 years as a member of the wider cricketing family.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Australia's Most Wanted

In Australia we love a villian. A few summers back most of the continent became infatuated with the antics of South African hard-man Andre Nel. He loved the contest and generously dished up his aggressive and abrasive brand of cricket to both the Australian team and crowds. He naturally received plenty in return but always saw the humour of the situation and knew that the theatrics were just that, a bit of fun. Many a hot confrontation was defused with a devlish grin.

At a packed partying MCG under a hot holiday sun Brett Lee repeatedly bounced big Andre. It was great entertainment as Lee exaggerated his follow-through after each delivery that Andre had to duck, fend and swerve. Every time their eyes locked, the combatants, although in a tense battle, would exchange a few well chosen words followed by a smile. 

It was wonderful and extraordinarily competitive cricket and the crowd and the players enjoyed it immensely. It never detracted from the contest because there was respect on both sides. Respect for themselves, their opponents and most importantly, for wearing their nation’s cap on one of cricket’s grandest stages.

Keith Miller, Australia’s finest allrounder, when asked by English chat-show host and unabashed fan Michael Parkinson to describe the secret to his success not only on the cricket field but during fierce mortal air battles during World War II, leaned forward and replied in a soft self-assured tone, “Respect yourself and your efforts for self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both of these qualities then you have real power at your fingertips”. This is a lesson that Indian opening bowler Shanthakumaran Sreesanth seems destined to learn the hard way.

Sreesanth’s behaviour against the Australians during the last three encounters has been, to put it mildly, bizarre. He cannot fathom that there is a difference between hard aggressive cricket and immature petulance. It’s understandable that he wants to take the game to the Australians but the young man seems confused at what this exactly entails.

His exaggerated send-off of Hayden and Gilchrist in South Africa earned him a monetary fine and left Hayden seething and Gilchrist bemused. His crazed send off at Kochi, his home ground, and childish unsporting attempt to run out Symonds left the Queenslander indignant and feral.

Sreesanth is a hero to millions of kids and their parents in his home province and the example he set during the second ODI was perhaps the most appalling behaviour I have ever seen on a cricket field. Despite assurances from a clearly frustrated Indian captain MS Dhoni that all was well Sreesanth was deservedly dropped for the next encounter, a match India won by eight runs, their first ODI win against Australia in three years. 

Making Sreesanth twelfth man however, did not stop his over the top attempts to sledge the World Champions. After Andrew Symonds dismissal, Sreesanth waited for Symonds in the players race and abused him while clapping his hands just centimetres from the Queenslander’s face. This baffling unsporting behaviour is something I’ve never seen in even club or grade cricket and there is no place for abuse and sledging outside the boundary. No exceptions. All it displays is a complete lack of class and incredible immaturity. If Sreesanth is allowed without penalty to continue this sordid behaviour then it is only a matter of time before a batsman, in the heat of the moment, violently assaults him with the willow.

The Indians complained about sledging on their recent tour of England and again against Australia but the evidence on this tour is that the Indians are the instigators and most blatant offenders. They cry foul that their opponents have spoken ‘harsh words’ on the field but when they trangress themselves they are full of excuses and empty platitudes.

Australians do play hard on the field but without exception they shake hands, congratulate or commiserate with their opponents at match end and extend an invitation for a shared and well-earned cold beer. This pattern of behaviour is evident at all levels of Australian sport and it is a proven, healthy and respectful way to treat your opponents. Never would behaviour like Sressanth’s be accepted or excused. 

Sreesanth through his petulance is now Australia’s most wanted and I predict that his time Downunder later this year will not be a pleasant one. He has earnt the ire of Ponting and the nation and there is little doubt that if he plays in Test matches then he will be targeted by Tait, Lee, Clark and Johnson. Perhaps they’ll knock some sense into him. Time will tell.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]   

The Thunder Downunder: Almost Home

The boys and I have now concluded our hugely successful tour of South East Asia and after a few days surfing at Kuta later this week we will be returning back to the Shed bronzed, fit and in form ready for the beginning of the Australian season. And what a season! Tasmania will be attempting to defend their inaugural title, a T20 Champions League is promised in addition to Test matches against Sri Lanka and India followed by a triangular ODI series containing the same teams. That’s a lot of quality cricket to digest.

Australia are continuing on their merry way despite the belated monsoon lashing southern India. In their first match - there were no practice matches scheduled - after their T20 semi-final exit, the Gilchrist-led Aussies put on a solid performance after a scratchy start. The top order all struggled primarily because of Sreesanth’s erratic bowling. The Indian new ball bowler was pumped and quick and his overs were all over the shop. Hodge’s wicket was illustrative of this Tait-like pattern. Sreesanth bowled two wides, one on the off and the other on the leg, before trapping Hodge in front with an almost unplayable late inswinger. Symond’s dismissal was similar. 

It was a blessing in disguise. Michael Clarke, Brad Haddin and James Hopes all spent time in the centre and the Australian middle order comeback displayed the depth and grit within the Australian system. Missing from last year’s triumphant Champions Trophy and World Cup winning team was McGrath, Ponting, Bracken, Hussey, Tait and Watson. For the mathematically challenged that’s more than half the team. No matter. There are dozens of cricketers of international class playing domestic cricket and when one falls or fails there are others with the ability, enthusiasm and temperament to impress on cricket’s biggest stages.

Michael Clarke’s innings was the most impressive. Coming in with the score at 18/2 he was dismissed run out off the last ball for a stunning and beautifully crafted limited-overs knock of 130 from 132 balls. His driving through the covers was exquisite and anything loose was quickly dispatched to the ropes. Haddin joined him with Australia precariously poised at 90/4 in the 17th over and they both played intelligently and courageously throughout what the less educated cricket followers call the boring middle overs. Their 144 run partnership was cricket of the highest calibre and it was finally broken in the 42nd over when Haddin was stumped trying to hit Yuvraj into the packed and cacophonic terraces of Bangalore’s 60,000 capacity Chinnaswamy Stadium. Hopes joined Clarke and the pair added a further 73 in a controlled and chanceless last eight overs and when the innings ended Australia had recovered quite brilliantly to post a score of 307.

Unfortunately, the match was washed out soon after the Indian innings began but not before Mitchell Johnson, in his first crack for his nation with the new ball, dismissed Tendulkar with a perfect left-armer’s delivery after a very fine over. He bowled Sachin four away swingers in succession before getting one to go the other way.  It was reminiscent of his mentor Dennis Lillee and his tremendously successful approach of out-foxing the opposition’s opening bats during the new ball assault.

I must apologise but that’s the Thunder for this week folks as I must make tracks. Our wonderfully hospitable Singaporean hosts have a luncheon organised at the luxurious Raffles Hotel where we’ll be grazing on fresh seafood and enjoying a cold ale while we watch Australia’s second ODI fixture against India live on the big screen from the Nehru Stadium in Kochi. I’ve just heard that India won the toss and have sent the Aussies in on a very damp track. I was also informed that the outfield was dried by pouring kerosene on it and setting it alight. Not expecting too much from Gilly and the boys in those conditions but I am expecting a fantastic function that should continue well into the warm tropical evening. Make sure to check back next Tuesday as I report on all the shenanigans that have occurred at the Shed in my absence. Until then, watch the ball and keep on swinging.

[Nesta Quin]

Thunder Downunder: West Indies tour squad announced

In their infinite collective wisdom the Australian selection committee recently announced the touring squad to tour the West Indies beginning in May.

There were few surprises in the squad with Simon Katich and Stuart MacGill returning to the Test squad and David Hussey and Shaun Marsh earning their first tour with the ODI squad.

Most interest has centred on 25 year old left-arm wrist spinner Beau Casson. Like MacGill, Casson left his home state of Western Australia to try his luck on the big turning Sydney pitch and after only one complete season it has paid a handsome dividend.

Capable of prodigious turn and with a well disguised wrong'un Casson is also a more than handy bat as his 88 in the Pura Cup final showed.

It is a grand chance for the young man to race ahead of young spinning rivals Dan Cullen and Cullen Bailey and if MacGill, only two matches back from surgery, aggravates his tender wrist then Beau Casson may get a red carpet ride into the Baggygreen brigade.  Full squads over the jump...

TEST SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Beau Casson NSW 25 yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
Ben Hilfenhaus TAS 25yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Phil Jaques NSW 28yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Simon Katich NSW 32yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Stuart MacGill NSW 37yrs
Ashley Noffke QLD 30yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs

LIMITED OVERS SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Nathan Bracken NSW 30yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
James Hopes QLD 29yrs
David Hussey VIC 30yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Shaun Marsh WA 24yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs
Cameron White VIC 24yrs

[Nesta Quin] [Image:Getty]

Thunder Downunder: Warne Walks

In what is probably a augury tale in regards to English County cricket, Shane Warne has opted out on the final year of his not so insignificant contract with Hampshire for business and personal reasons.

However, Shane will still be playing cricket for the Jaipur based Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League that begins in around three weeks time.

Warne has been instrumental in recruiting his Hampshire team-mates Dimi Mascarenhas and Shane Watson to Jaipur and I can only imagine that Hampshire chairman Rod Brangrove is less than impressed with Warne’s actions despite his diplomatic public utterings.

The rupee-laden Indian T20 tournaments, both official and unsanctioned, are affecting cricket at the top levels in a way that we haven’t seen since the 1970’s with World Series Cricket and the 1980’s with the questionable rebel tours to the then Apartheid dominated South Africa.

In the last few weeks we have seen New Zealand and South Africa field less than their best teams in Test matches and it would seem that only the richest cricketing nations will be able to prevent their best players from falling to the temptation of easy money on the sub-continent.

Cricket Australia, well aware of the long-term damage that rebel organisations can cause to the game, have so far been willing to accomodate their best players but a few fringe players have opted out of contracts to take a full-time place in India.

Jason Gillespie while still contracted to the national board retired from first-class cricket and is now preparing to play in India. Brad Hogg likewise. There is a suspicion that Adam Gilchrist’s decision to retire was made all the easier by the truckloads of cash he will receive in India.

There are rumblings in England that there could soon be a player revolt at many of their best players missing out on the gold rush and if that happens, and here at The Shed we hope it does not, then only Australia and India will be relatively unaffected by this new league.

Although I am anticipating the IPL with some enthusiasm I’m beginning to see the dangers it holds for the rest of the cricketing landscape. I can see a time in the not so distant future where only two or three nations reguarly compete year round with their best eleven.

And that, however you look at it, cannot be good for the game of cricket.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: In Memory of Old Bill

It is with a heavy heart that the crew at The Shed return from their enforced cyberspace exile. Bill Brown, Australia’s oldest surviving Test player passed away in Brisbane last night after 95 fruitful years serving his family and country with humility, courage and poise.

There are few within the Australian cricketing family that are not saddened by his demise. He was the grandfather of the baggygreen and his loss is deeply felt within the fraternity.

It is regretably the end of an era. Old Bill, as he was affectionately known, was the last surviving Australian player pre-WWII and probably our most loved former captain. Softly spoken and forever self-depreciating, Bill was a great storyteller who still made guest appearances well into his 90’s and never charged a cent for his time. His wisdom, generosity, experience and wit will be sorely missed.

An Invincible, Bill’s international career began at Trent Bridge in 1934. He was an intelligent and reliable opener who often provided the perfect foil for Bradman’s later exploits. At the crease Bill was more of an artist than a tradesman and he was renowned more for his placement than his power. In his second Test, at Lords, he secured his maiden Test century. The home of cricket was a ground that became a personal favourite.

During the first televised Test, at Lords in 1938, Bill carried his bat scoring 206 and I presume those wealthy enough to possess a television witnessed a sublime innings. No opening batsman since has achieved a greater total when not out at innings close. He once remarked that his proudest moment was when he took his grandson up to the Long Room to see his name in gold on those hallowed boards. Lords held a special place in Bill’s heart as it does for many within the cricketing world.

Like others of his generation he lost his best years and more than his fair share of mates to WWII where he served his community with distinction. A RAAF pilot who served in New Guinea during the failed Japanese invasion of Northern Australia he never marched on ANZAC Day because he felt he “didn’t do enough”.

The first match after the war was the inaugural Test against New Zealand and Bill was given the honour and responsibility of captaining the side. The year after against India at the MCG Bill was the victim of the questionable tactics of Indian bowler Vinoo Mankad for the second time in consecutive matches.

Mankaded in Sydney, Bill spoke to Vinoo about the dismissal after play and Vinoo gave his word that if there was ever to be a repeat he would warn him first. Proving himself a man with little honour Vinoo repeated the tactic, without warning, when Bill was on 99. Not unlike recent events this summer passed, there are two sides to this story. Ultimately it depends upon who you would prefer to believe. However, one fact is beyond question, Indian and Australian cricket has a long bitter history of unsportsmanlike behaviour.

Leaving that argument for another day, Old Bill was patience, strength, humility and forgiveness personified. News Ltd journalist, Robert Craddock visited him at his bedside the day before he passed on and Bill was as fearless facing death as he was confronting Japanese shrapnel or the new ball on an uncovered greentop.

Yesterday, Australia lost one of it’s greatest men. His memory will be undoubtedly cherished.

He is survived by his wife Barbara, sons Peter, Geoffrey and Steve, his 10 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: The Walrus and the Vegan

Liverpool's most famous non-cricketing export once melodiously mused from across the Atlantic, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". It is a phrase that has struck a chord at the Shed every day this past week. Peg, her hair in rollers under a nylon floral scarf, is convinced that Yoko is to blame.

Since returning back to the valley where the crayfish are free and the apples are plenty, much discussion  - and with each beer thirstily consumed - increasing speculation has centred on the recent homogenisation of Australian pitches. Once upon a time in a not so distant past, each major arena in each individual state had a different type of surface. Davo and I have spoken at length about this interesting and endangered phenonema and it was my intention to share what was gleaned with our delightful and outspoken readers.

Alas, as I began planning the research for this topic that encompasses history, geography, pedology, climatology, entomology, ecology, sociology, pathology, botany, geology, hydrology, philosophy, politics, horticulture and naturally, many cricketing assumptions, Davo's feral sister Nikki arrived unheralded, unwashed and uninvited and has caused chaos from the moment she began squatting in the Shed.

I won't waste any space on this wretched confused creature except to say that she identifies as vegan and delights in attempting to make others feel guilty by the presence of her assumed superiority. You all know the type. Suffice to say that the rest of us have been heartily enjoying bacon and eggs for breakfast, lobster and chicken for lunch and thick, juicy under-done steaks for dinner. 

Unfortunately much of this week has been spent dealing with the troubles Nikki has created and no time could be found to investigate and communicate the implications and likely scenarios of all Australian pitches being alike. Perhaps next week, perhaps never. Life is too unpredictable.

I would have also enjoyed conveying some snippets of wisdom from John Buchanan's excellent, intelligent and wonderfully written new book. Especially his thoughts on the T20 format but that too will have to wait. If you are impatient buy it, you won't be disappointed it is a contempary cricketing classic. 

Hopefully in the coming week's contributions we can all discuss;
    - the changing nature of Australian cricket due to terminal drought
    - a controversial suggestion that T20 should be a fifteen man game with unlimited rotations
    - the problems apparent in the entire Australian team - BIg Stu excepted - exclusively playing limited overs cricket for 10 months
    - the exodus of Australian coaches with associated assistants and the benefits and risks of Australians being in charge of all Test playing nations except England, India and South Africa.

It has occurred that another unseen misfortune may intervene between now and when next we meet folks, so if you have any thoughts about any of the aforementioned cricketing conundrums or advice on how to dispose of an unwanted intransient vegan parvenu, please leave a comment.

Musings on the latter are most urgent, so don't delay and while you go about your business give a thought to what an orgiastically sated and outrageously stoned Scouser chanted whilst content and contained in a  hessian bag on honeymoon in Amsterdam many moons ago, Give Peace A Chance. We are trying valiantly at the Shed and I can assure you it is tiresome, even for 4 days, living peacefully with a flighty flaky frosty fundamentalist feminist food fascist .

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: A New Era Begins

January 4, 2007, the fourth day of the fifth Ashes Test, has become one of the most bittersweet days remembered in recent Australian cricket history. Before lunch, Ricky Ponting and his men secured a perfect 5-nil series scoreline winning not only The Ashes but also immortality writing their names alongside Warwick Armstrong's legendary 1920/21 team.

Although both team's defeated their opponents in emphatic fashion the original achievement has always been overshadowed by the folly and waste of continental war that ended less than three years previous. It is a morbid reality that England sacrificed many of their finest men during World War I and were consequently seriously undermanned and unprepared for their first Test series after an eight year absence from the international arena. Truth be told, a complete shellacking was expected.

The same cannot be said for the 2006/07 series and in due course the Australian team that regained the Ashes after the narrow shock loss in 2005 will be remembered as one of the Baggygreen's best ever collectives. It was a day and an event to saviour. It was also a time for reminiscing, recollection and recognition. It was the day that three of Australia's greatest modern warriors retired from the international arena. It was truly, the end of an era.   

In a near perfect finale, Glenn McGrath (124 Tests) and Shane Warne (145 Tests) both took wickets from their last deliveries in Test cricket and Justin Langer (105 Tests) finished the match not out with Matthew Hayden as the most successful opening partnership in Australian history scored the 42 runs needed to secure the sweetest of crushing victories.

That historic and emotional match was the last time Australia contested a Test and early next week the Australian selectors will announce the men chosen to replace the experienced triumvirate.

Warne was peerless and unarguably unique. His natural successor, Stuart Macgill, a proven matchwinner with 198 Test scalps, is no certainty of selection due in part to his recent knee surgery and overwhelmingly because of his abrasive persona.

Macgill was given an opportunity to display leadership and maturity on the Australia 'A' tour of Pakistan in September but failed miserably by abusing umpires and opposing batsman on several occasions. There were unconfirmed reports of other disrespectful indescretions and on return to Australia he was duly summoned to Cricket Australia headquarters for a stern discussion about his future.

It is not unusual for a player to be effectively banned from selection for an attitude outside the norm in Australian cricket. Dean Jones, Michael Bevan and Greg Matthews are three examples of players at the top of their game who have been subjected to the administrator's wrath because of their inability to gel with team-mates. Unfortunately, Stuart falls into the same category yet I expect him to be selected. He deserves his chance regardless of his natural surliness and the other options Brad Hogg, Dan Cullen and Cullen Bailey are yet to consistently impress at Test level. One thing is certain, there will be a spinner in the selected twelve despite Australia's abundant fast bowling stocks.

Glenn McGrath was effectively replaced before he retired by the equally metronomic Stu Clark. Not suggesting that Stu is as good as Glenn but he has proven himself good enough to consistently excel at international level. Clark is from the same grade club as McGrath and has been playing second fiddle since his elite cricket career began a decade ago. Freed from the great man's long shadow it will not be surprising to see Big Stu emerge as the new general of Australia's fast bowling brigade. 

The beginning of a new era is always an exciting time. With a fit Brett Lee and Stu Clark certain to play, the Australian selectors will in all likelihood select Mitchell Johnson and Shaun Tait to accompany them in the twelve. This will give Ponting the option of playing four quicks against the Sri Lankans. This is an alternative he is likely to consider as the Lankans have never coped with the fast bouncy nature of Australian pitches. In fact, Sri Lanka are yet to win a Test in Australia and have lost every series contested by considerable margins.

Ponting, like every other cricket lover on the continent, is seduced by the imagined violent razzle-dazzle that Tait and Lee bowling in partnership would produce. It is something that we are all anxious to witness but only at the expense of the spinner for Mitchell Johnson wholeheartedly deserves to debut at his home ground in front of his family and community. It is the next natural step on Johnno's ascendency to cricketing greatness and I'm confident that the selectors will oblige.

Langer's replacement will be Phil Jaques who scored a blistering 167 against Western Australia last weekend. He is the obvious successor after scoring thousands of runs over the last four seasons and it will be interesting to see how the new opening partnership develops.

Langer's obstinancy was a perfect foil to Hayden's belligerence and their record is unmatched in Australian cricket history. Like Hayden, Jaques likes to go after the bowling from ball one and with two similar players opening it may take a few matches to work out a successful strategy that suits both batsman. The Thunder suggests that Hayden will play well within himself early on and allow the younger Jaques to settle and play his natural game.

There is enormous pressure on Jaques to succeed and if he doesn't make a significant contribution by Boxing Day his place in the team will be under severe pressure. The ruthless and uber-competitive nature of Australian cricket has little patience for failure and the next few months will be the most important in Phil Jaques professional cricket career. All of us at the Shed wish him well and hope that he can solidify his place and continue to score in the Baggygreen for the next decade.

Sri Lanka are in for a tough series with many in the Australian team keen to impress. An end of an era heralds the beginning of a new one and invariably it is accompanied by turmoil and change. The national team will be playing a record number of Tests in the next 18 months with the expectation of having an experienced and well-drilled squad primed for the 2009 Ashes. Generational change is always difficult in a sporting context and an interesting and hopefully entertaining summer and beyond awaits. 

The Thunder's dozen for the First Test.

Hayden
Jaques
Ponting
Hussey
Clarke
Symonds
Gilchrist
Lee
Clark
Johnson
Macgill
Tait

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Maximum Hate for Minimal Reason

A few weeks back I read on a major British website a description of Mitchell Johnson that I found abhorrent in the extreme. A contributor wrote, with some delight I expect, that Mitch was a ‘knuckle-dragger’.

At the time I dismissed it as an ignorant aberration for surely no sane person would publicly denigrate people of Aboriginal ancestry as being sub-human. I was wrong. I'd forgotten that illusions of racial superiority aren't genetic but a behaviour that is learned.

Perhaps coincidentally, the very next day I read of a dozen learned British institutions that are refusing to hand over the stolen bones of some 2000 Australian natives. Their families have fought at great expense financially and emotionally in British courts since the 1980s for their return. All they ask is that their ancestor's remains be finally laid to rest in the appropriate cultural setting.

The reasons for the research are apparently secret but it is known that the remains are still required after a century of abuse and disrespect. You can make up your own mind as to why the bones of people of Aboriginal descent are needed for testing by anthropologists. The original stated reason for the grave-robbing was to prove conclusively that Australian Aboriginals weren't quite human but a sub-species of Homo Sapien.

These experiments have continued unabated for over a century at semblant seats of learning such as Oxford and Cambridge with hardly a peep from the general British population or the academics involved.

How does this deplorable example of an empire's indifference relate to cricket?

In light of the continued racial vilification of Andrew Symonds in India, the above is given as a cushioned example of the consequences of inaction when confronted with ignorance and hate. These mental poisons, if not confronted when they appear, become the established norm. The written history of humanity is littered with this destructive pattern.   

The BCCI took a similar gutless approach this last fortnight when it refused to acknowledge the racist chants emanating loudly from the grandstands of Chandigarh, Vadodora, Nagpur and Mumbai. They were all aimed at the same player, the only member of the Australian team with African ancestry.

The Indian Board and match referee Chris Broad sat on their grubby collective hands and as each match passed the tolerated abuse became more vicious and organised.

I presume that the ICC will also sweep this under the plush Dubai carpet and hope that now that the series has ended so has this most distasteful occurence. Unfortunately that won't be the case, the snake has escaped.   

I have little doubt that the mute response of the relevant authorities to this cretinous public display of hatred will have consequences for Australian cricket this summer. Australia, like everywhere else, is not immune to the ridiculousness and foolishness of racist idiots. Add booze, a hot sun, an Indian touring squad and the indifferent treatment of a popular cricketer and you have a recipe that will make the Police Sargeant in charge of the cells a very busy man indeed.   

When it does occur Downunder, public racism is stamped on quickly and the offenders publicly humiliated and punished. During South Africa's last tour complaints were made of racist remarks from the outer in Perth and after a police investigation the perpetrators, all refugees from post-Apartheid South Africa, were prosecuted. James Sutherland, Cricket Australia's chief administrator, has lobbied all authorities involved and there is a legislated zero tolerance policy in place and any person yelling a racially-motivated obscenity - non-racial is apparently OK - will be dealt with harshly.

The timing of these events has been curious to say the least. I wrote last week of the unsporting and disrespectful behaviour of sometimes Indian opening bowler Sreesanth and his verbal targeting of Symonds. It is surely not a coincidence that the racial taunts appeared soon after. Andrew has toured India before without incident, in fact on the last tour he was treated as a hero after his efforts installing a roof and water tank for an orphanage that Matt Hayden and a few flush Christian mates privately finance.

Organised racist chants are not new in India, the most notorious being the disgusting denigration of Desmond Haynes in Bangalore in 1982. However, up until this series these affronts were isolated. This tour has shown that racial taunting from Indian spectators is a national phenomenon with momentum and I am reasonably certain that if the authorities had treated the first incident at Chandigarh seriously then all would be forgotten by now. The cricket administration's lukewarm acceptance of racist taunting encouraged its proliferation and growth. In doing so the very people that are employed to nurture the grand game have assisted in dragging it into the sewer.

Mention must be made of the stoicism and conviction of the victim, Andrew Symonds. He has chosen to not respond to the baiting and let his bat do the talking. He topped the aggregate and averages for the series all at a strike rate well in excess of a hundred. In adversity a man can learn much about himself and Roy has gained plenty from this series. He has emerged a better and wiser cricketer and that I propose is the best reply to the ignorant miscreants.   

I have experienced nothing that can compare to the loathsome display from last night's Mumbai crowd. Watching Andrew Symond's sad expression and slumped shoulders as he fielded on the green expanse of the Wankhede Stadium, against a backdrop of literally thousands of people in unison squealing and acting like monkeys was, in my mind, the saddest thing I have ever witnessed in my 25 years as a member of the wider cricketing family.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Australia's Most Wanted

In Australia we love a villian. A few summers back most of the continent became infatuated with the antics of South African hard-man Andre Nel. He loved the contest and generously dished up his aggressive and abrasive brand of cricket to both the Australian team and crowds. He naturally received plenty in return but always saw the humour of the situation and knew that the theatrics were just that, a bit of fun. Many a hot confrontation was defused with a devlish grin.

At a packed partying MCG under a hot holiday sun Brett Lee repeatedly bounced big Andre. It was great entertainment as Lee exaggerated his follow-through after each delivery that Andre had to duck, fend and swerve. Every time their eyes locked, the combatants, although in a tense battle, would exchange a few well chosen words followed by a smile. 

It was wonderful and extraordinarily competitive cricket and the crowd and the players enjoyed it immensely. It never detracted from the contest because there was respect on both sides. Respect for themselves, their opponents and most importantly, for wearing their nation’s cap on one of cricket’s grandest stages.

Keith Miller, Australia’s finest allrounder, when asked by English chat-show host and unabashed fan Michael Parkinson to describe the secret to his success not only on the cricket field but during fierce mortal air battles during World War II, leaned forward and replied in a soft self-assured tone, “Respect yourself and your efforts for self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both of these qualities then you have real power at your fingertips”. This is a lesson that Indian opening bowler Shanthakumaran Sreesanth seems destined to learn the hard way.

Sreesanth’s behaviour against the Australians during the last three encounters has been, to put it mildly, bizarre. He cannot fathom that there is a difference between hard aggressive cricket and immature petulance. It’s understandable that he wants to take the game to the Australians but the young man seems confused at what this exactly entails.

His exaggerated send-off of Hayden and Gilchrist in South Africa earned him a monetary fine and left Hayden seething and Gilchrist bemused. His crazed send off at Kochi, his home ground, and childish unsporting attempt to run out Symonds left the Queenslander indignant and feral.

Sreesanth is a hero to millions of kids and their parents in his home province and the example he set during the second ODI was perhaps the most appalling behaviour I have ever seen on a cricket field. Despite assurances from a clearly frustrated Indian captain MS Dhoni that all was well Sreesanth was deservedly dropped for the next encounter, a match India won by eight runs, their first ODI win against Australia in three years. 

Making Sreesanth twelfth man however, did not stop his over the top attempts to sledge the World Champions. After Andrew Symonds dismissal, Sreesanth waited for Symonds in the players race and abused him while clapping his hands just centimetres from the Queenslander’s face. This baffling unsporting behaviour is something I’ve never seen in even club or grade cricket and there is no place for abuse and sledging outside the boundary. No exceptions. All it displays is a complete lack of class and incredible immaturity. If Sreesanth is allowed without penalty to continue this sordid behaviour then it is only a matter of time before a batsman, in the heat of the moment, violently assaults him with the willow.

The Indians complained about sledging on their recent tour of England and again against Australia but the evidence on this tour is that the Indians are the instigators and most blatant offenders. They cry foul that their opponents have spoken ‘harsh words’ on the field but when they trangress themselves they are full of excuses and empty platitudes.

Australians do play hard on the field but without exception they shake hands, congratulate or commiserate with their opponents at match end and extend an invitation for a shared and well-earned cold beer. This pattern of behaviour is evident at all levels of Australian sport and it is a proven, healthy and respectful way to treat your opponents. Never would behaviour like Sressanth’s be accepted or excused. 

Sreesanth through his petulance is now Australia’s most wanted and I predict that his time Downunder later this year will not be a pleasant one. He has earnt the ire of Ponting and the nation and there is little doubt that if he plays in Test matches then he will be targeted by Tait, Lee, Clark and Johnson. Perhaps they’ll knock some sense into him. Time will tell.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]   

The Thunder Downunder: Almost Home

The boys and I have now concluded our hugely successful tour of South East Asia and after a few days surfing at Kuta later this week we will be returning back to the Shed bronzed, fit and in form ready for the beginning of the Australian season. And what a season! Tasmania will be attempting to defend their inaugural title, a T20 Champions League is promised in addition to Test matches against Sri Lanka and India followed by a triangular ODI series containing the same teams. That’s a lot of quality cricket to digest.

Australia are continuing on their merry way despite the belated monsoon lashing southern India. In their first match - there were no practice matches scheduled - after their T20 semi-final exit, the Gilchrist-led Aussies put on a solid performance after a scratchy start. The top order all struggled primarily because of Sreesanth’s erratic bowling. The Indian new ball bowler was pumped and quick and his overs were all over the shop. Hodge’s wicket was illustrative of this Tait-like pattern. Sreesanth bowled two wides, one on the off and the other on the leg, before trapping Hodge in front with an almost unplayable late inswinger. Symond’s dismissal was similar. 

It was a blessing in disguise. Michael Clarke, Brad Haddin and James Hopes all spent time in the centre and the Australian middle order comeback displayed the depth and grit within the Australian system. Missing from last year’s triumphant Champions Trophy and World Cup winning team was McGrath, Ponting, Bracken, Hussey, Tait and Watson. For the mathematically challenged that’s more than half the team. No matter. There are dozens of cricketers of international class playing domestic cricket and when one falls or fails there are others with the ability, enthusiasm and temperament to impress on cricket’s biggest stages.

Michael Clarke’s innings was the most impressive. Coming in with the score at 18/2 he was dismissed run out off the last ball for a stunning and beautifully crafted limited-overs knock of 130 from 132 balls. His driving through the covers was exquisite and anything loose was quickly dispatched to the ropes. Haddin joined him with Australia precariously poised at 90/4 in the 17th over and they both played intelligently and courageously throughout what the less educated cricket followers call the boring middle overs. Their 144 run partnership was cricket of the highest calibre and it was finally broken in the 42nd over when Haddin was stumped trying to hit Yuvraj into the packed and cacophonic terraces of Bangalore’s 60,000 capacity Chinnaswamy Stadium. Hopes joined Clarke and the pair added a further 73 in a controlled and chanceless last eight overs and when the innings ended Australia had recovered quite brilliantly to post a score of 307.

Unfortunately, the match was washed out soon after the Indian innings began but not before Mitchell Johnson, in his first crack for his nation with the new ball, dismissed Tendulkar with a perfect left-armer’s delivery after a very fine over. He bowled Sachin four away swingers in succession before getting one to go the other way.  It was reminiscent of his mentor Dennis Lillee and his tremendously successful approach of out-foxing the opposition’s opening bats during the new ball assault.

I must apologise but that’s the Thunder for this week folks as I must make tracks. Our wonderfully hospitable Singaporean hosts have a luncheon organised at the luxurious Raffles Hotel where we’ll be grazing on fresh seafood and enjoying a cold ale while we watch Australia’s second ODI fixture against India live on the big screen from the Nehru Stadium in Kochi. I’ve just heard that India won the toss and have sent the Aussies in on a very damp track. I was also informed that the outfield was dried by pouring kerosene on it and setting it alight. Not expecting too much from Gilly and the boys in those conditions but I am expecting a fantastic function that should continue well into the warm tropical evening. Make sure to check back next Tuesday as I report on all the shenanigans that have occurred at the Shed in my absence. Until then, watch the ball and keep on swinging.

[Nesta Quin]

ICC World Twenty20: India Irresistable

A full house at Kingsmead in Durban witnessed a highly skilled and competitive World T20 second semi-final where India held on to defeat Australia by 15 runs. It was a thrilling match with plenty to cheer about for both teams but in the end India, led wonderfully by MS Dhoni, were too strong for a depleted but willing Australian team. 

Australia were playing their first match of the tournament in Durban whilst India were playing their fifth and the extra knowledge acquired during those matches proved to be a crucial factor in India’s success. Dhoni won the toss and asked Adam Gilchrist’s bowlers to have first use of a flat and true pitch that offered little movement off the seam or in the air.

The match began in fits and starts with Virender Sehwag tweaking a muscle in his groin or thigh just two balls into Brett Lee’s first hostile over. He immediately called for a runner and this gave India an advantage in running between the wickets which they exploited ruthlessly. Amongst the confusion of two runners backing up, Australia were under constant pressure in the ring as the Indians continued to drop the ball at their feet and run the cheeky single. The ball was pinging around the infield like a sugar-crazed fat kid in a well-stocked Grubber as not one Australian shy hit the timber early on. The backing-up of the throwing was supremely professional with not one overthrow despite a dozen attempts missing the target.

India batted watchfully and sensibly to the new ball and after the field-restricting first six overs India were 36 for the loss of Sehwag who was out-foxed in Mitchell Johnson’s first over. Australia had definite plans for India’s openers and to a man they bowled short at Sehwag and full to Ghambir. Sehwag, who may or may not have been hampered by his apparent injury (he was bowling only 100 minutes later), fell to one of the oldest tricks in the fast-bowlers manual. Johnson gave him a wide one to start with which Sehwag squirted square for four. The next ball was quicker, straighter and on the same length and predictably the batsman played the same fruitful stroke but was cramped for room and could only get a top edge through to Gilchrist. Australia have picked up Virender in the same fashion on several occasions in Test matches and despite his explosive batting talent he still has a few lessons to learn. Perhaps T20 will revive his career but I am not expecting to see him in the forthcoming Test series against Australia in December.

Interestingly, Australia still had a slip in place as the seventh over began which was bowled quite brilliantly by Stuart Clark. In this eventful over Uthappa was given a life when Pup Clarke spilled a difficult leaping well-timed chance and then the same fielder missed a run out chance from 35 metres the very next ball. Fortunately, Stu Clark picked up Ghambir off the last ball of the over after Brad Hodge made a relatively simple outfield catch difficult by slipping on the dewy outfield as the ball sailed towards him.

Taking a wicket is always cheerful for the fielding team but they are not always welcome in T20. With Ghambir’s demise in strolled the seemingly unflappable star of the tournament, Yuvraj Singh. The elegant left-hander became the first batsman to hit six sixes in an over in international T20 while scoring the fastest ever half-century against a hapless and brain-dead England a few nights ago and he continued in a similar style carting the Australian bowlers to every corner in a match-winning partnership with Robin Uthappa. The stylish pair added 84 in six and half overs and when Uthappa was run out coolly by a clearly frustrated Andrew Symonds, India were well on their way to setting a significant total for Australia to chase.

The Indian skipper and superstar talisman Mahendra Dhoni joined Yuvraj at the crease and both looked comfortable until Yuvraj was deceived by a Michael Clarke arm-ball and with 15 deliveries remaining India were 155/4. Yuvraj scored 70 from 30 balls with five fours and an equal number of sixes. It was a thrilling innings and if Yuvraj can continue his superb clean-hitting when Australia arrive in India at the end of the week, the Australian brains-trust will be enduring many sleepless nights trying to devise a method to curb his ebullience.

Dhoni, now paired with the under-rated Rohit Sharma, opened his shoulders and played some inventive agricultural swipes that would have done a sickle wielding thatch-cutter proud. When he was dismissed run out scrambling for a bye off the penultimate ball, the job was done and India finished with a respectable and hefty 188/5 from the twenty overs allowed.

Australia did not bowl or field below their usual excellent standards. Only one wide was delivered and only one chance was put down. And that was a very difficult opportunity to grasp. A few close run outs were missed but you cannot expect a fieldsman, even some of the best on the planet, to hit the stumps every time. Truth is, India matched Australia’s intensity and backed themselves to put a big total on the board. Runs up front are always important in big games and this tournament has proved that twenty-over cricket is not much different to longer forms of the ancient game. It is only condensed. The same themes apply.

With a crowd that was overwhelming supporting India, which is not surprising given that according to the 2001 South African census 600,000 people of Indian descent live in the Durban metropolitan area, Australia were always going to find nine and more an over a significant challenge.

Gilchrist started strongly regularly clipping anything full on middle and leg through and over midwicket but Hayden found the impressive Shanthakumaran Sreesanth a handful and the aggressive quick beat Hayden repeatedly while the ball was still shiny. Gilchrist was finally dismissed after a whirlwind cameo by a scorching late in-swinging yorker from a gesticulating Sreesanth in the sixth over.

Hodge joined Hayden and after hitting an exquisitely timed maximum over long on, he was dismissed when he middled a hook straight to Joginder Sharma who didn’t have to move in taking a safe catch at backward square leg. Hodge looked in good touch and was a tad unlucky picking out the only fieldsman behind square in the ring on the leg side. 

At 68/2 in the ninth over Australia had some work to do to in their chase and the muscular Queenslanders Andrew Symonds and Matthew Hayden set about the task as you would expect a world champion pair would in the circumstances. They both batted with determination and flair and when Sreesanth brilliantly bowled Hayden in the fifteenth over Australia had reduced the run rate required to a gettable but difficult 10 runs an over.

At this point with five overs remaining the Indians were showing signs of nerves, fumbling in the field exacerbated by Harbhajan and Yuvraj barking orders to anyone in listening distance, but that all changed when Symonds attempted one cross-batted slog too many and was clean bowled by the wily Pathan with the score at 156/4 with twenty legal deliveries left to bowl.

With three overs remaining and Australia now requiring 30 to win, the Indian senior players, Dhoni, Harbhajan and Yuvraj met mid-pitch for a long and at times quite heated discussion. The game was in the balance and one wrong move could spell disaster for either team and on Yuvraj’s insistence Harbhajan Singh, Australia’s long-time nemesis, came on to bowl with Clarke and Hussey at the crease. It was a telling decision and in hindsight, the most critical over of the match. Harbhajan bowled Clarke with a perfectly pitched dart and then tied up Haddin until the last ball of the over where India gladly gave him the single.

With only three runs and a vital wicket coming from the over, Australia’s run-rate ballooned to in excess of 13 from the final two and when RP Singh deceived Haddin four balls in succession after bowling a beamer first ball, the game was as good as decided. Hussey, who like Sehwag required a runner, was left disappointed and lonely at square leg wondering what might have been if the Australian selectors on this tour weren’t so infatuated with the New South Wales gloveman’s apparent hitting ability. Considering that fifty runs were regularly hit off Australia’s fifth bowler combination of Clarke and Symonds and that Haddin contributed next to nothing in the matches he participated, it takes no imagination to state that Australia should have played Brad Hogg after Ponting and then Watson were declared unfit.   

India were deserved winners and the World Twenty20 has a final that has been dreamed of by around a billion people for decades. India and Pakistan in a showdown for a global trophy. This match-up will obviously be recorded as a major match in cricket’s long and winding history and it will no doubt give this new format credibility and a firm place in the future of cricket. Saying that, there are a few things I, as a spectator and active cricketer, would like changed.

Firstly, to keep the balance between bat and ball, a must for a competitive cricket match, I’d like to see the free-hit scrapped and replaced, if they must have an extra penalty for over-stepping, with a two run penalty instead of the standard one.

Secondly, some of the most famous matches in the cricketing annals have been ties and if a winner must be decided, I’d favour an extra five overs each much like extra-time that you see in other sports to decide the contest. Be far more exciting and credible than a ridiculous bowl-out.

Thirdly, I’d like to see the beamer punished more harshly, not only in T20 but in all forms of cricket. As someone who has had the displeasure on several separate occasions to be beamed by a vengeful fast bowler, I guarantee that it is not a fair contest and is outright dangerous even with a helmet. Rather than a no-ball and a warning, I propose an instant 5 run penalty, a no-ball and a warning. This delivery is becoming more and more prevalent in the game and only a fool would think that it does not affect a batsman’s mind for a short time after. In T20, the match can hinge on a ball and although I think it would have made no difference to the result, RP Singh’s vicious first up delivery to Haddin shook him and with so few balls left and still runs to score it was a sinister, unsporting and unnecessary ploy.

And lastly, I’d like runners to be banned in T20 cricket. Twice during last night’s match the momentum of the spectacle was broken firstly by Sehwag calling for assistance between the wickets and then Hussey. T20 is a short game and sides aren’t regularly bowled out and if the batsman injured his hand instead of his lower appendages he would just politely retire hurt. Seeing Sehwag bowl and field shortly after batting with a runner was suspicious to say the least and if his injury wasn’t too bad he could have retired hurt and returned later in the innings.

That’s it for The Shed at the World Twenty20 and like the Australian team I am now turning my attention to the vastly populated landmass of India where a seven-match ODI series and a single T20 international is scheduled in the coming weeks. Australia learnt plenty at these inaugural championships and will be far better off from the experience. Clearly the two best sides are in the final and it promises to be a cracking contest. The next instalment of this tournament is in England in 2009, the same year as The Ashes, and it won’t surprise me if Australia are once again under-prepared for the hurly-burly of the World Twenty20. The Ashes is the prize that Australian cricket covets most and that’s where their energies will be placed in 20 months time. You can bet your house on it.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

ICC World Twenty20: Sri Lanka Scheißehaus

Australia dominated from the opening ball of Brett Lee's first over to spliflicate Sri Lanka by 10 wickets with 10 overs to spare at Newlands this morning South African time.

Adam Gilchrist, deputising for the injured Ponting, called correctly and invited Mahela Jayawardene to have a bat. It was a good toss to win with the match beginning at 10am and Australia's fast bowlers used the helpful atmospheric conditions to perfection to have Sri Lanka 43/7 at the halfway mark of their innings.

Once again, Stuart Clarke slipped into McGrath's size fifteen's and hardly bowled a bad ball in decimating the Lankan middle order after Lee and Bracken removed Jayasuria, Tharanga and Jayawardene in the first three overs.

Sri Lanka's dismal performance wasn't because the Australian bowlers were unplayable or that the ball was moving around extraordinarily, it was because the Sri Lankan top-order refused to play straight early on and they paid a heavy price for their impatience and lack of respect. 

Vaas and Mubarak rescued the team from complete humiliation with a 40 run seven over stand but it was all in vain as Sri Lanka were all out for 101 three balls short of the scheduled climax. 

Australia fielded well and apart from a misjudged catch by Brad Hodge, the fielding was professional and without mistake. Michael Clarke, in particular, was electric either in the ring square on the offside or down patrolling the boundary at long on. He took two sharp diving chances in Stuart Clarke's second over to totally put Sri Lanka out of the contest.

Australia's chase was as equally efficient as the fielding and bowling. Little risk was taken with each ball played on its merits and when Hayden smacked his second six into the grandstand at deep long on Australia had not only booked themselves a place in the semi-finals but also ended Sri Lanka's progress in the tournament.

Shane Watson, in the team to replace Ricky Ponting, once again broke down in delivery stride and it may be time for the Australian selectors to replace him with Tasmania's Luke Butterworth as the fast bowling allrounder in the limited overs set-up. This was probably his last chance before going back to domestic cricket to prove himself for the fourth time. He will be a most depressed young man this evening and we can only hope he returns to Brisbane and gets himself completely fit before attempting a return to the hard grind of first-class and international cricket.

The predictable injury to Watson may be a blessing in disguise for the Australian team. The selectors have little choice but bring Brad Hogg into the team and this will strengthen Australia's only apparent weakness, the fifth bowler.

In a portent for the future Test series against Sri Lanka in November, Watson viciously bounced Malinga first ball and he can expect plenty more short stuff as can his team-mates when they make the long trek Downunder later this year.

Considering this match was a knock-out and that if Sri Lanka had any hope they had to bowl Australia out, it was confusing to see Malinga held back till the ninth over when Australia only needed 24 more. Vaas and Fernando were servicable but wickets were needed and if anyone understands Jayawardene's tactics, leave a comment to educate the rest of us. 

All up, a good Australian win but no need to get carried away. Sri Lanka were awful. What was encouraging was that for the third time this week Australia have won matches where a loss would have ended their campaign. This augurs well for the semi-final but make no qualms, South Africa in Durban, will be very tough opponents. 

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

ICC World Twenty20: Pakistan Impressive

While Geoff Lawson sat like a stony faced Rapa Nui Moai in the fidgety and excited Pakistan dugout, his charges played some very impressive cricket to defeat Australia by six wickets with four balls to spare at The Wanderers in Johannesburg overnight.

On a warm, humid afternoon Pakistan, led brilliantly by new skipper Shoaib Malik and backed up superbly by every bowler, contained Australia to 164/7 from their 20 overs. Their fielding was slick and classy with Afridi throwing the stumps down on several occasions and their catching was faultless with more than one sharp, difficult chance taken. The athleticism and skill was sublime entertainment and at times this match was, without exaggeration, literally breathtaking. 

Recently, Pakistan removed their three most celebrated players from the current squad, Inzamam, Yousef and Akhtar and have replaced them with players that are hungry to prove themselves.

Left-arm quick Sohail Tanvir, a supposed batting allrounder playing his first internationals for his country, was outstanding in his opening three over spell. He removed both Hayden and Gilchrist and caused Ponting no end of trouble. His unique whippy action, where he appears to bowl off the wrong foot, made the ball difficult to pick up for the Australian top-order and it was a wise decision to include this young man in the squad after Shoaib Akhtar’s latest indiscretion.

Wasim Akram, perhaps the greatest left-arm seam bowler of all, has had a lot to do with Tanvir’s development and it is more than evident in his approach to the wicket and the attacking nature of his overs. Tanvir, who has yet to take a domestic wicket in T20, was a surprise and controversial choice to replace Akhtar but Lawson insisted on his inclusion after he tore through the Australia ‘A’ top order in the recently finished three match ODI series in Pakistan. Incredibly, Tanvir is regarded primarily as a batsman and he has struck several first-class centuries and why it may be too early to call, it looks as though Lawson with the help of his good mate Akram has uncovered a cricket team’s most rare and valuable asset. A genuine allrounder. 

Afridi and Hafeez, the Pakistani spinners, bowled beautifully. Instead of bowling flat and defensively they attacked the Australians and in doing so illustrated to the rest of the sides in this tournament how to defeat the World Champions. Match their intensity and attack at every opportunity. Obviously, Lawson has had an enormous influence on this strategy and although satisfied with the win, I suspect he may have mixed feelings about being such an influential part in Australia’s defeat. He is after all, a very proud member of the Baggygreen elite.

Despite the Pakistani heroics Australia matched them until calamity struck. In the ninth over with Australia scoring at near ten an over, Ponting set off for a quick single and pulled, tweaked or tore his hamstring. A few balls later Ponting, obviously in a lot of discomfort, was cleverly bowled by Hafeez. The wily spinner recognised that Ricky was lame and looped a ball on a teasing drivable length. Ponting unable to use his feet swished an ugly swipe at the turning delivery and was deservedly bowled.

Australia never really recovered from the loss of their inspirational skipper and despite a solid partnership from Hodge and Hussey the favourites were on the back foot throughout their innings.

Umar Gul and Asif ably supported by Tanvir bowled perfect yorker after perfect yorker in the last four overs and when Johnson snicked a ball to third man for a single from the last ball Australia knew that they were 20 or more runs short of a defendable total. 

Pakistan’s innings started poorly, as it has throughout the tournament, and a third of the way through their chase they were precariously poised at 46/4. At this point the resurgent Misbah-ul-Haq joined the classy Shoaib Malik at the crease and for the rest of the match Pakistan dominated.

Misbah, another Lawson inspired controversial selection, is Pakistan’s most decorated domestic T20 player averaging over 50 at a strike rate of 130+ from his 20 matches. His experience showed against a determined Australian attack and the ease that Malik and Misbah chased down Australia’s total illustrated their tremendous skill, temperament and class.

Australia, without Ponting, looked diminished in the field and while Gilchrist did a serviceable job as deputy, it was clear that without their skipper Australia are significantly weakened, tactically and emotionally.

Pakistan, taking on Australia at their own game by playing fearless attacking cricket, exposed a gaping hole in the current Australian T20 attack. Symonds and Clarke sharing the work of the fifth bowler may be successful against less skilled and determined opponents but against a class and now well-coached outfit like Pakistan they looked second-rate.

Pakistan have caused Australia no end of problems as they prepare for the crunch knockout match with World Cup runners-up Sri Lanka tomorrow. There are now doubts over the team balance and Ponting’s injury only exacerbates this problem. It is a great opportunity for the Lankans to revenge Australia while they are in a weakened and confused state. Australia will bounce back, that is undeniable, but this is a chance that Sri Lanka would be keen to advantage.

Summing up, Pakistan were brilliant and if they can play such excellent disciplined cricket in their next three matches they will be deserving winners of the inaugural World Twenty20 Championships. Lawson’s controversial selections of Malik as captain, a seemingly washed-up Misbah and the young and super-impressive Tanvir are now looking strokes of genius. A new dawn has arrived in Pakistani cricket and if the players take heed of Henry's direction perhaps a long and successful era as well. 

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

ICC Twenty20: Australia Continue to Improve

Australia continued their improvement after a long lay-off defeating Bangladesh in a canter by 9 wickets. For the third match in succession the Australian four-pronged pace attack restricted the opposition to a score under 135. For all the talk of T20 being a batsman’s game Johnson, Clark, Lee and Bracken bowled to their strength and completely dominated Bangladesh from the start.

Although only four days into taking this format seriously, Australia have quickly surmised that if you bowl short and quick over off stump the batsman is forced to play a precarious cross-batted shot. Few players outside Australia and South Africa are confident or internationally competent off the back foot and it seems at this point, a winning, wicket-taking run-reducing strategy.

 

Ponting won the toss and in what is developing as a pattern during this tournament decided to field first. Bangladesh openers, Tamim Iqbal and Nazimuddin, began cautiously and solidly and when the first wicket fell at the end of the sixth over Bangladesh were 40/1. The men in green and red continued to bat intelligently albeit tardily hoping to lay a platform, keeping wickets in hand for a burst in the final five overs. Halfway through the 17th over they were looking reasonably good for a final assault at 108/3. But then a little piece of history intervened.

Brett Lee, who is still finding rhythm after a six month long injury induced break, struck three times in successive balls to snare the first international T20 hat-trick. As is often the case during a cricket match, a Bangledeshi error the ball before changed the course and led to this historic moment. 

Aftab Ahmed skied a ball into the vacant mid-wicket area and as the ball plugged into the dampish outfield two Australian fielders converged on it. There was an easy two runs but the sight of muscular Symonds picking the ball up from the turf led to confusion and only a single being taken. So instead of the in-form Aftab on strike, Shakib al Hussein faced the next delivery instead. Cricket almost always punishes you for making rudimentary mistakes and Bangladesh paid dearly for their poor running and communication on this occasion.

The very next ball Brett Lee bowled to plan with a rising delivery over off-stump which Shakib tried to cut square but was beaten for pace and all he could do was thinly top-edge the ball off the shoulder of the bat through to Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist. It was too close to the body to cut and far too often did the Bangladeshi batsman back away towards square-leg to cut rather than getting inside the line to pull or hook.

Next batsman, Mushrafe Mortaza, chose to back away as Lee was in his delivery stride and not believing his luck Brett took a little pace off the ball and pitched it at the base of off-stump for a predictable result.

The third batsman in the hatrick, Alok Kapali, at least had the courage to stand his ground but was trapped plum on the crease by a canny off-cutter and was rightly adjudged LBW.

Lee has been the least impressive of the fast bowling attack so far at this tournament and I doubt that it will be the last hatrick by a bowler playing T20 this campaign. Bracken, bowling the 20th over, was also on a hat-trick but Bangladesh glove-man Rahim thought that one hat-trick an innings was enough and he cautiously played the penultimate ball for a nurdled two behind square rather than give Bracken the opportunity by recklessly trying to hit him into the stands off his first ball faced.

Australia, due to some fine bowling backed up by sharp and incisive fielding, restricted Bangladesh to 123 from their allotted 20 overs. This was never going to be enough and Hayden and Gilchrist helped themselves to a cool 100 from the first 11 overs before Gilchrist was run out pushing for a quick single by a sharp piece of ground fielding by Tamim Iqbal and an equally fine piece of keeping by Rahim.

Ponting strode to the wicket with a determination to see the team home and both he and Hayden were not out when the score was passed with more than 6 overs remaining. Another solid win by the men in yellow and next up will be, perhaps Australia's hardest match to date, against the mercurial team from Pakistan. 

In closing, Australia are finding their feet and are starting to put together the type of cricket that has seen them undisputed World Champions for the last decade. Hayden looks back to his best, Gilchrist is striking them well, as is Ponting and Symonds. Little slogging is taking place with a determination to play attacking yet traditional cricket shots to get the job done. The pace bowling attack, Stuart Clarke in particular, have been excellent and are working in partnerships allowing little respite from their short-pitched chest-high attack. The fielding is starting to intimidate their opponents and this can be seen by the indecisive running of England and Bangladesh in the last two matches.

Australia are looking good to make the semi-finals and one more win over the equally impressive Sri Lankans or Pakistan should see them through to the business end.

[Nesta Quin]

ICC World Twenty20: Australia Resurrected

With the sun on their backs and a Zimbabwean sting in their tails, the Australian team late this afternoon in Cape Town played almost perfect cricket to comprehensively defeat England by eight wickets with more than 30 balls to spare. Australia played the new diminished format with the hunger reserved for Test matches and it paid dividends. No quarter was given and the newer members of the England squad seemed spooked by the aggressive nature and technical ability of an Australian XI with plenty to prove. 

Paul Collingwood called correctly at the toss and in what is a debatable decision, chose to bat first on a true but yet to be tested surface. England’s openers, Prior and Maddy, began cautiously and seemed uncomfortable with the high bounce of the new strip. Ponting instantly recognised this and replaced Lee and Bracken after only one over with the new ball, replacing the duo with the impressive Johnson and the ever-reliable Stuart Clarke. It was an incisive piece of captaincy and the extra bounce generated by his taller pacemen saw the wickets of Prior, Wright and Maddy fall in quick succession. Ponting had his Ashes face on and England never recovered from this early setback.

Pietersen shared brief fruitful partnerships with Collingwood and Flintoff before he too succumbed to the pressure. He played such a woeful shot that it defies description. A half-volley on leg stump cleaned bowled him because he was to and fro in the crease with his chest facing the bowler hitting across the line. There were seven overs left and England desperately needed a steady hand at that point. As is often the case against Australia, all of England’s hopes now rested on Andrew Flintoff’s broad but burdened shoulders.

Flintoff looked in good touch and it was obvious that he was not intimidated by the Australian presence. In fact, Fred rose to the occasion hitting a brace of sixes down the ground from Symonds before being tempted into trying to lob short third man from an accurate Johnson bouncer, the delivery directly after Ponting had cleverly moved the fielder into the circle. 

A predictable and familiar rout began after Flintoff’s demise with the last five wickets falling for a paltry eight runs. Full credit should be given to the Australian frontline bowlers who performed admirably and intelligently throughout. Ponting used his multi-faceted pace attack well and on more than one occasion his tactical awareness led to wickets falling and consequently runs drying up.

Bracken after an untidy first over returned to bowl his final three on the trot and when he bowled Broad from the last ball of the innings England had scored 135 from their 20 overs. 

It was a small total on a good pitch and the way England began its innings - either blocking or slogging - was in stark contrast to the Australian approach.

Hayden and Gilchrist waited for the loose ball in the first few overs and were content to have a look and score at an easy run-a-ball. After two solid overs each from Broad and a wincing Flintoff, Collingwood bravely brought himself on and Gilchrist and Hayden helped themselves to four boundaries. James Kirtley, on next in his only over, bowled too full and Hayden hit him for four more scintillating boundaries and each shot straight from the text-book. 

Hayden and Gilchrist continued their merry measured approach but anything slightly off line or length was quickly despatched. It was an impressive opening partnership that was broken in the ninth over with the score on 78. Gilchrist threw his wicket away lofting a drive from Schofield to long on where Flintoff took a safe outfield catch. The Australian skipper joined Hayden and the same clinical pattern continued until Ponting scooped a low full toss back at a visibly suffering Flintoff who nonchalantly accepted the gift in one hand.   

With only 16 runs to win and the skipper back in the sheds, Hayden decided that he’d had enough too. He arrogantly despatched the next three deliveries for 14 before Symonds hit the winning runs with a boundary from his first ball faced.

Ponting’s men, like all champion outfits, responded after a setback with pride and conviction. Their opponents began surprisingly tentatively and a wounded Australian team never let them back in the contest. England looked poor no matter how you analyse it and their specialists and youngsters appeared overawed and diminished by the occasion.

Australia now know that they can play T20 at a high standard and they are only going to improve from this point on. John Buchanan taught the team that in disaster lies oppportunity. It is a lesson not easily learned. Ricky Ponting demanded that the the team give the new format the same care that they give other matches when playing for their country. The team responded with verve and bearing in mind his belated arrival, these last few days illustrate the enormous respect and influence that Ricky Ponting generates amongst his team-mates.

Zimbabwe awoke a giant. If Australia play to their potential in T20 cricket it won't be much fun for their opponents. It will be tough, clinical and uncompromising. And that dear readers, is how cricket is played best.

[Nesta Quin] [Image; Getty]   

ICC World Twenty 20: Zimbabwe Triumphant

In cool, damp conditions at Newlands, the young Zimbabwean team outplayed and out-thought Australia in every facet of the game winning by five wickets with one ball to spare. In what was the tightest and most nerve-wracking match of the tournament to date, Ponting won the toss and curiously batted on a pudding of a pitch. Canny bowling and excellent fielding saw Australia perennially on the back-foot and a measly 137/9 was accumulated from their allotted 20 overs.

Zimbabwe’s fielding was magnificent with every chance and half-chance taken. The out-fielding was slick and their enthusiasm for the contest was manifestly infectious. Most impressive was Man of the Match, 21 year old wicketkeeper Brendan Taylor, who set the standard with a flawless Healy-like display with the gloves. His stumping of Symonds was the work of a class cricketer and his presence over the bails to every bowler always had Australia nervous and tied to the crease.   

The Zim bowling attack used the cool overcast early evening conditions to perfection, with the dibbly-dobs of veteran Gary Brent almost unplayable. Brent took the pace off the ball and bowled short of a length darting it off the seam both ways and Australia’s much-celebrated batsmen struggled to hit the ball off the square.

The conditions favoured the bowlers to such an extent that even former Test wicketkeeper Tatenda Taibu had the ball swinging and seaming and beating the bat. Perhaps the Zimbabwean's incredible fielding display can be best summed up by the brilliant run-out of Hussey by the emerging talent of Vusimuzi Sibanda.

Hussey, who could not find the middle of the bat, mishit a late inswinging delivery into his pad and unsure where the ball had gone took a few exploratory steps down the wicket anticipating Symond’s call. In a flash, Sibanda had glided in from square-leg and in one movement dived, fielded the ball and under-armed the stumps down from 15 metres. Hussey was caught short of his ground and that fine piece of cricket was crucial in keeping the Australians under pressure.

Australia’s tail gave support to Brad Hodge and added some much needed runs with a lusty blow or three in the last few overs but when Bracken fell to another excellent piece of fielding from Sibanda off the last ball, most knew that 137 would not be enough.

Australia’s opening bowlers, Brett Lee and Nathan Bracken struggled to find the length early on and Sibanda ably supported by Taylor took advantage putting 31 on the board in the first three overs. Ponting quickly turned to Stuart Clark who instantly found the length and when rain intervened in the twelfth over Australia had clawed their way back into the contest and remarkably were ahead on the Duckworth/Lewis method despite Zimbabwe clearly playing the better cricket.

It would have been an injustice if Australia had won this match because of the weather and many expressed a sigh of relief when the covers came off after a 30 minute delay. An angry and frustrated Ponting berated his team during the break and after the disruption Australia threw everything at the inexperienced Zimbabweans but to no avail.

Mitchell Johnson bowled a fine spell of short pitched deliveries that reminded the Zimbabweans that they were in a contest but Taylor, in his finest international performance to date, kept his team in with a shot, hitting two sixes from the bowling of Hodge and coolly creating two boundaries off the last over to guide his team home to an historic victory from the penultimate ball.

At match end, the Zimbabweans did the obligatory flag-waving lap-of-honour after beating Australia and there was much talk in post-match interviews of “giving the people back home something to smile about”. Credit must be given to the disappointed Australian team for fighting to the end and also for a fine example of sportsmanship at match end. They waited on the field for over 10 minutes while their opponents wildly celebrated so they could shake hands and extend the offer of a cold post-match beer.

Zimbabwe deserved to win and played some very solid, intelligent and at times brilliant cricket. To label the Australians arrogant or rusty is unwarranted and unfair to the young men from Zimbabwe. They played fantastically as individuals and as a team and thoroughly deserved their hard-fought victory. Australia will learn from this loss and perhaps will now treat the T20 format with the dillegence it seemingly deserves. 

Ricky indicated as much when at match end he was asked what went wrong, “Aw look, we've just got to start respecting the game now. We were three for next to nothing in the practice matches too, it’s something we need to look at”.

Australia also lost their initial ODI against Zimbabwe way back at the 1983 World Cup and that win catapulted the small and chaotic African nation into the world’s elite. Almost a quarter century later we can only hope that this achievement at the inaugural World Twenty20 will give the Zim boys the belief, recognition and impetus to regain that treasured status.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: World T20 Pre-Tournament Aussie Round Up

Australia are facing the prospect of starting their World Twenty20 campaign with a bare minimum of 11 players as pre-season niggles continue to plague the team in Ricky Ponting's absence.

Under the tournament rules each squad is allowed 15 players and Australia have been decimated with injuries and family responsibilities with Michael Clarke, Matthew Hayden and Shane Watson all under an injury cloud. Ricky Ponting has delayed his arrival to the morning of the first match against Zimbabwe due to ICC commitments and concerns over his wife Rianna’s health. Additionally, Stuart Clark also arrived late in Pretoria staying in Sydney to support his young family through a tough time managing his young lad’s illness.

Australia’s reduced squad played their first matches since the World Cup final over the weekend with mixed results. On Saturday a 10-ball win against the equally out-of-season Blackcaps and on Sunday an eight wicket humbling to the Pollock, de Villiers and Smith inspired hosts.

Michael Clarke although selected for both matches was effectively rested to mollify his chronic back complaint and neither batted or bowled in either fixture. With only 11 players to choose from Australia played both wicket-keepers and five specialist bowlers with Pup scheduled to bat at 11 and in the match against South Africa Hayden came to the crease after Brad Hogg because of stiffness in his aging body from his first-ball duck only 24 hours previous.

Cricket Australia and Adidas recently were crowing about the new performance-enhancing injury-reducing garments that Australia are wearing at this tournament. These high-tech uniforms are expected to alleviate soreness and assist recovery and one can only assume that Matt’s kit doesn’t fit or that the announcement of Australia’s new threads had more spin imparted than a Mushtaq Ahmed wrong’un.

It has been a rocky beginning for Tim Nielsen in his first tournament in control of the national squad with new problems arriving on a daily basis and one can only hope that when the tournament begins proper that some semblance of rhythm and normality can be found. Pakistan, South Africa and the West Indies are all in good form and with England and India match fit and raring to go, Australia may find it tough to win enough matches to qualify for the semi-finals.      

Most people are expecting this experimental inaugural tournament to be a batsman’s wonderland but if the dozen or so warm-up matches are any indication this may not be the case.

The early season spring conditions and fresh, rested pitches have assisted swing and seam bowling early on and many top order wickets have fallen cheaply. This increases the pressure and responsibility on the middle to lower order and this is where most matches have been decided in the past week of friendly contests.

It promises to be an excellent and entertaining tournament and all at The Shed are agreed that South Africa are the team to beat with a motivated Pakistan and carefree West Indies also looking dangerous. 

In the best news you’d ever likely hear, I am thrilled to report that Australia’s favourite English rose, Jane McGrath, has defeated cancer for the third time and is now officially in remission again. A mother of two, Glenn’s wife is a heroine to tens of thousands of Australian women (and men) battling this insidious and all too often terminal disease. Her quiet compassionate determination, good humoured optimism and public courage in the stony face of death has given immeasurable strength and hope to fellow sufferers and their families throughout the continent.

The word hero and champion are bandied around the press with reckless abandon to describe our sports stars yet I feel more than confident in stating that in Jane McGrath England have a real home-grown fair dinkum champ. May she live long and prosper.

[Nesta Quin} [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Same Old Band, Same Old Tune

Tomorrow at dusk the World Twenty20 tournament begins at the picturesque and floodlit Wanderers with a tantalising opening fixture between the hosts South Africa and the improving, confident team of men from the Caribbean. Should be a cracker and an upset looms.      

For those that are yet to discover, the World Twenty20 is comprised of 12 teams which in the first phase are split into four seeded groups of three. The top two sides in each group proceed to the next abbreviated round robin Super Eight phase where there are two groups of four. Finally, the top two in each of these groups proceed to the knockout semi-final stage.

Australia are in Group B with Zimbabwe and England and Group D sees the Scots trying to match it with a restless Pakistan and a second string Indian squad. In Group A a hopeful Bangladesh join South Africa and the West Indies while in Group C the Daniel Vettori led Kiwis take on Kenya and a Murali-deprived Sri Lanka.

I was unable to ascertain if points are carried from the first round to the second which has been a pattern in past ICC tournaments. After reading the ICC explanatory missive titled Tournament Rules I was none the wiser.

“Team names for the Super Eight stage are indicative based on the top two teams from the Group Stage qualifying. If these teams do qualify they will be seeded in position 1 and 2 as specified regardless of whether they finish first or second in their group.”

“For example, if West Indies (A2) win Group A and South Africa come second, for the purposes of the Super Eights, South Africa will still be A1 and West Indies will be A2. If, for example, Bangladesh qualifies instead of South Africa, Bangladesh will become A1.“

It is far from clear but a case could be put that points earned are not lost otherwise England (B2) would accrue no benefit from defeating Australia (B1) if they both defeat Zimbabwe. If points from the first round do not carry over and a case could be put for that also, then just three days into the contest there will be games that have no bearing on the overall outcome.

It is difficult to penetrate the ICC’s choice of language and time will be the wisest judge but I fear that the ICC have somehow managed to create chaos from harmony once again. Foresight indicates that there will be several meaningless matches at this tournament and a straight knockout quarterfinal set-up would have been preferable for the fans, the teams and the inaugural tournament’s credibility.

Perhaps the next edition timed to coincide and celebrate the ICC’s centenary in 2009 will make each contest have consequence. I won’t be holding my breath.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: Secrets of an Immortal

Last summer during the second Ashes Test Shane Warne recorded what the host broadcaster labeled a masterclass. It was perhaps the best live cricketing television you could hope to witness and there is no doubt that this 10 minute film will become as iconic as any image or writing that the cricketing community has ever produced. Barring the complete collapse of civilization there is little doubt this instructive piece will be watched and studied for centuries to come.

It is brilliant in its simplicity and content and Mark Nicholas plays the role of cajoling interviewer with a boyish-like enthusiasm which is a joy to witness. The WACA looks a picture under an azure Indian Ocean sky and Warne, out in the centre, is comfortable, entertaining and in his element.

Warne demystifies his art with demonstrations of each of his deliveries and speaks about some of the tactics and techniques he employs to dismiss the best batsman on the planet. Shane does not only talk of the mechanics of his art but also about the intangibles. His advice for young spinners is especially insightful. He says you need to have good mate as captain, a lot of courage and plenty of love from family, team and friends.

Although this video is instructional in the art of wrist-spin it is also an invaluable insight of the art for batsman. If you understand the position of the hand for each type of delivery reading wrist-spin is as easy as reading these words.

Click, watch, listen and learn. Get out in the backyard, street, corridor or park and try and bowl a leggie, a toppie, a wrong-un, a zooter and a flipper. It’s not as hard as you think and I guarantee that when you finally land one you will feel elated. A warning however, bowling wrist-spin is addictive and an eccentric skill and if you are not careful it can change the way you perceive the world.

{Nesta Quin} [Image: Getty]

The Himalayan Thunder: Milky Chai with the Godfather of Nepal

Over a pot of milky chai tea in a breezy café in the Nepalese capital, The Googly’s Australian - and now Asian - correspondent was fortunate enough to have a chat with current Nepalese coach and Sri Lankan cricketing legend Roy Dias before his celebratory dinner party at the Royal palace. The portly Dias had just returned from his fourth straight victorious U/19 Asian Cricket Council Championships and the ever-present well wishers in this crowded dilapidated dusty city are all keen to show their appreciation by continually interrupting our conversation.

I met Mr Dias, who has rightly earned the title The Godfather of Nepal, at the recent semi-final between Nepal and Malaysia and the pleasure has been all mine. A gentleman in every aspect, I cringed when he told me of an interview he did with the BBC after his first ACC Championships six years ago. He was patronisingly asked, “How do they even play cricket in Nepal, aren’t there hills everywhere?”. He then told me that this “poorly educated Englishman” was supposedly serious. “I guess he’s never seen the incline at Lords” was my reply and Roy’s deep chuckle echoed onto the busy street outside at the mere mention of the vagaries at the international home of cricket.

Roy has been asked about yesterday’s final against Afghanistan continuously - won by Nepal in a tight low-scoring match - so I switched the conversation to his playing career and particularly his one and only match at the famous ground. It was the first Test match in England between the MCC and Sri Lanka and Roy conveyed that the then inexperienced Sri Lankan squad were “nervous and excited” about the prospect of playing a Test at Lords.

“It was a wonderful occasion and I’ll never forget the standing ovation we received from the crowd after our captain Duleep Mendis twice turned down offers of bad light on the first afternoon.” I asked if the English skipper did likewise and Mr. Dias just smiled and raised an eyebrow. He told of how “Mr Gower” sent the Sri Lankans in after winning the toss and how nobody, including their own supporters, gave them a chance even though England had failed to win any of their previous dozen Tests. 

His eyes sparkled as he reminisced of how the then minnows “declared close to 500” and how they cleaned up England for “around 350”. The match was drawn but it was the game that “signalled the arrival of Sri Lankan cricket to the world”.

“Everyone was very proud” but it still took another 17 years (2002) before England would engage Sri Lanka in anything more than one-off Tests at home. This “snub” still rankles the elder generation of Sri Lankan cricketers. They had played multiple Test series against every elite nation by 1989 and why England “were afraid of them” is “not understandable” I piped in something about England’s tour of Australia and recent World Cup performances being “of minnow-like proportions” and Roy’s hearty belly laugh once again resonated throughout the neighbourhood.

After some more well-wishers and a dozen autographs Roy settled back in his ornate wooden chair and mused about the future prospects for cricket in Nepal. He relayed plans to build a high-altitude Academy with help from the ICC and others. Many Asian athletes train in Nepal and Roy thinks that cricketers could also benefit from working on their fitness and skills at altitude.

He spoke at length about elite cricket being played “90 percent with head and heart” and how it is this aspect of the game where the Nepalese lads really excel. “What distinguishes Nepal is that they never give up and keep fighting with a passion to the very end. Gurkha spirit, underdog spirit, call it what you will. While other teams in the region may find it hard to summon the necessary desire and self-belief for whatever reason, to a man, the Nepalese cricketers have what it takes.”

He spoke passionately about the demographics of Nepal and stated that 40% of the population were aged under 15. He said that in his six successful years as coach that he had “barely scratched the surface” in terms of the talent available. He emphasized this point by sharing the little known fact that the U/15 ACC winning championship team only had two lads that had played in a competitive match and yet they won the regional tournament undefeated.

With only “15 turf wickets” in the entire country and most of them situated in the south close to the border with India, The Godfather of Nepalese cricket is eyeing the rugged north of the country as a vital untapped resource that needs investment so that Nepal can take the next step up on the international ladder. Roy was deadly earnest when he said that he “would like to take hold of those boys who think nothing of going up and down mountains for miles to get their milk”. When facilities are available to these lads he assures me “that Nepal cricket would even be stronger”. 

He then went on and used his home island as an example, “The Sri Lankan national team made some major improvement once they started recruiting from the outstations. That’s where they find the fast bowlers. They don’t need gym or strength work. It’s all natural.” I had Roy’s head nodding and his belly bubbling once again when I mused, “Well if you are scaling a mountain and wrestling a yak before breakfast mate, bowling 20 overs into the breeze should be as easy as drinking chai”.

After winning his fourth straight undefeated Asian U/19 Championship only 36 hours ago Coach Dias was understandably a busy man. He drained his cup and with a warm handshake and friendly smile he wished me well and quickly blended into the seething mass of humanity on Kathmandu’s sunset-lit city streets. It was a pleasure to share half an hour with this remarkable living legend and once again I was reminded of the marvellous camaraderie and cultural respect that the game of cricket can create amongst it’s participants. Something, I am afraid to say, that mere spectators of this grandest of games seldom learn nor appreciate. Namaste.      

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: Kuala Lumpur to Kathmandu

All loyal readers of The Thunder should be well aware that your globetrotting correspondent is on a pre-season tour of the cricket hotspots of South East Asia. The past week has been spent playing and watching cricket in and around the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur and a fine hot and sticky satay time has been had by all.

During this sublime and sunny week, the Malaysian Cricket Association have been hosting a ten nation ODI tournament that serves as the Asian qualifier for the 2008 U/19 World Cup, also to be held at the same location next March. The ten teams competing include the host Malaysia, three times winner Nepal, Afghanistan, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Hong Kong, Singapore, Kuwait and Oman.

The winner of this tournament automatically qualifies for the U/19 World Cup finals as do hosts Malaysia. The runner-up will play off against Scotland, the European division’s runner-up, at a yet to be decided venue in a last ditch chance for glory next month.

It has been a fantastic tournament and, I am reliably informed, a wonderful experience for all the young players and families involved. There is only the final to be played on Wednesday with overwhelming favourite Nepal up against the hard and motivated lads from war-torn Afghanistan.

The Thunder was a spectator at yesterday’s semi-final between Malaysia and Nepal at the lushly modern Bayuemas Oval and the match was won in aggressive style by the Nepalese. Fast bowling allrounder and Nepalese captain Paras Khadka (pictured) routed the Malaysian top order with a fiery opening spell and finished with the figures of 5/21 from his allotted ten. I spoke with this impressive young man after the match and through his broken English I understood these words, “Australia, kangaroo, Ghurka, mother, father, win, good, thank you, fast, proud, happy and goodbye”. Make of that what you will but the huge smile of satisfaction on Paras’ face breached all language barriers.

While near meaningless ODIs are being played in England and Zimbabwe this past week, it was heartening to be one of the few hundred to witness a crucial match with real consequences for the players and their representative nations. The cricket played was skilled, competitive and spirited and once again I was reminded that cricket is a grand global game played respectfully, and enjoyed peacefully, by people of all ages, cultures and beliefs.

The Nepalese who defeated South Africa and New Zealand at the 2006 U/19 World Cup are an emerging force in world cricket and within a few decades should be joining Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh as full members of the powerful Asian bloc. All of us at the Thunder wish them the best of luck as they climb the steep ladder to full recognition.

Back at The Shed spring has well and truly arrived. The wattle is in full bloom as is Peg’s predictable hayfever. Cookie our resident kookaburra has returned from her winter migration and Davo has finally cleaned the spark plugs on the lawnmower. Apart from Peg's sniffling and complaining all seems well in my absence and in between setting up the backyard telescope and stocking the esky for tonight's full lunar eclipse, Davo begrudgingly relayed news from back home.

Shaun Tait's elbow injury and Ben Hilfenhaus’ consequent selection in the T20 WC squad has had ramifications for other teams representing the sandy federated continent. Australia ‘A’ formerly known as the Second XI, are departing for a full tour of Pakistan on September 1 and Hilfenhaus’ ascendency has given Victorian veteran Shane Harwood another chance to prove himself internationally. Additionally, fellow Victorian allrounder James McDonald has succumbed to injury and his place has been taken by rising star, Tasmania’s Pura Cup final centurian and Man of the Match, Luke Butterworth.

Butterworth, who has only five first-class matches under his belt, was initially selected for full state honours halfway through last season after a recommendation to selectors from state and national captain, Ricky Ponting. Given his chance, 23 year old Butterworth proved Punter an astute judge. Young Luke turned four of the five games he played to Tasmania’s advantage, not only with bat and ball but also with some brilliant outfielding, and his performances were crucial to his team’s historic season. The Australian selectors are more impressed by heroic deeds in the heat of battle than the steady accumulation of pure stats and The Shed has it on good authority that Butterworth is in the frame to one day replace Andrew Symonds as another versatile matchwinner in the national side.

In other good news from Downunder, Cricket NSW this week announced that the next Women’s World Cup will be played at various venues throughout metropolitan and rural NSW. Australia are defending champions and are hoping to once again hold up the trophy at the SCG in 18 months time. More than half the Australian team has retired since the last victorious campaign and with six teenagers in the 13 woman squad much work needs to be done before the start of this most important tournament. Women’s cricket is receiving more and more coverage in Australia and the cricketing family is hopeful that the ninth World Cup will raise the profile of the women’s game even further.

Lastly, as predicted by the Thunder months ago, Ricky Ponting has publicly championed Shane Watson to be Justin Langer’s replacement for the next Test versus Sri Lanka in November. Other opening contenders Phil Jaques and Chris Rogers have had abysmal County seasons averaging in the low 30s and will need some big scores on the board in the first two Pura Cup matches this coming season if they are to change the skipper’s mind. Ironically and paradoxically, thousands of County runs mean little to the Australian selectors  - they do not rate the competition - but consistent failures are duly noted for future reference.

The team and I are headed to Kathmandu this afternoon in what we imagine to be a white-knuckled flight on a rusting ex-Russian wing-prop into the teeth of the Himalayas. We are expecting to be joining the street celebrations, while avoiding the predictable government response, after Nepal’s talented youngsters see off the gallant Afghanis to qualify for their fourth consecutive U/19 World Cup finals. If that is the case, and the form suggests it, then the cricket played in Nepal should be even more friendly, fun and engaging than promised.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: T20 WC Round Up

Spring has arrived and for Davo and the rest of us at The Shed, that means pre-season training. While Davo's slogging his way through backyard circuit work and cursing interminably about the lawn not being mowed, I've been chinwagging with my mates, er, I mean, contacting the Thunder's excellent eavesdropping sources.

Slowly but surely Australian cricket is recovering from it's post-World Cup hangover and this week in preparation for the coming Twenty/20 World Championships we’re delighted to bring you a wrap of all the recent news concerning this somewhat premature tournament that begins on September 11.

Twenty/20 is still in its infancy Downunder - Australia has only played five matches - and the perpetually smirking Australian skipper Ricky Ponting constantly and patronisingly refers to the format as ‘hit and giggle’.

However, cricket starved paceman Brett Lee has an entirely different view, “Twenty/20 cricket has got a lot of merit. Parents can take the children down after school," he enthused. "On a hot day, it won't start until afternoon and there is lot of entertaining cricket as well - people hitting sixes, stumps flying everywhere."

Few in the squad share Brett’s ardency. Taking a breather while training with the Brisbane Broncos Rugby League squad earlier this week Andrew Symonds was bemoaning the fact that he, ”might have to take it seriously”. Considering that Andrew already has a T20 century under his belt and a career strike rate of 200+ one can only wonder what he will achieve when forced to apply himself.

In their infinite wisdom and natural indolence, the Australian selectors decided that the all-conquering and undefeated 2007 World Cup squad deserved first crack at the inaugural T20 tournament. There are however, a couple of forced changes to the bowling attack.

Brett Lee returns replacing the irreplaceable and incomparable Glenn McGrath and in what The Thunder considers a fantastic development, Shaun ‘Snowtown’ Tait failed to recover quickly enough from elbow surgery and has been substituted by the 2007 Bradman Medallist and cult Tasmanian hero, Ben Hilfenhaus.

It is lamentable that we will miss the shadenfreude of Lee and Tait bowling in tandem with a new ball at makeshift openers like Matt Prior, but there is no doubt that Tait would have been wayward and that is a luxury in such a short format.

23 year old Hilfenhaus, the brightest bowling prospect in a generation, has spent the entire winter working with reverse-swing guru and fellow Tasmanian, Troy Cooley. Hilfy's ability to move the ball away from right-handers, in the air and off the pitch, make him an ideal counterpoint for the pace of Brett Lee and the metronomic Stuart Clark. Add the left-arm angles and expert changes of pace that Nathan Bracken delivers, with the precocious ability of Mitchell Johnson, and Ponting looks to have more seam-bowling variety at his disposal than at any time during his successful reign.

The T20 Championships will be new coach Tim Nielsen’s first foray into international cricket and this alone is enough to make sure that Australia arrive in South Africa with all guns blazing. Tim noted this week that, “Pride is at stake” and reminded all that ”Australia take every match seriously”. That the team will wear their surnames on their backs instead of their nicknames and that Gilly won't be commentating is, I suppose, evidence of Australia's more earnest approach.

With a fit and motivated bowling attack and the strongest batting list in world cricket, Australia are overwhelming favourites to add the T20 Trophy to their already overflowing cabinet. It promises to be an interesting tournament and all of us at The Shed are anticipating a green and gold parade on the national team's return.

In other news, there is a rumour flying around The Shed, no doubt started by local chain-smoking gossip and irascible resident tea-lady Peg Milkingthorne. The unconfirmed whisper from The Dungeon is that a Googly Fantasy League will be created for this exciting tournament that begins in just under three weeks.

Davo, Peg and I certainly hope this is the case, for it sure will be fun matching wits with the other correspondents and especially our loyal readers. Pipping the Tooting Trumpet on the line again - as was the case at the last World Cup - would make it extra special.

We await further developments.

{Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Moral High Ground?

The Thunder Down Under has thundered in defence of "not walking" in his usual pungent style and he makes a good case. I'm even prepared to concede "not walking" in the professional game umpired by professionals is appropriate - professional people are usually at their best when left to get on with their jobs without interference.

But games umpired by professionals are the tip of the iceberg. The vast majority of games are played by amateurs and umpired by amateurs - should the same approach apply? This is a legitimate question, as almost everything else about the amateur game is different to the professional game, from pitch preparation to playing conditions.

Here's three questions on which I invite your answers in the comments section. Bear in mind that I write here of the non-professional game.

1. You are the captain of the batting side at the non-striker's end. There is a caught behind appeal - the umpire asks the batsman if he hit it. He ignores the umpire. The umpire turns to you and requests that you ask your team mate if he hit it. The umpire indicates that he will withdraw his services if you refuse to answer him. What do you do?

2. With a spinner on, the ball looped in the air and was caught by the keeper. The batsman vigorously rubbed his forearm. You turned down the bowler's appeal. Between the overs, you see the batsmen conferring and laughing as they look at a mark on the glove of the batsman given not out. In the next over, you get a good look at the batsman in question's glove and sure enough, there is a red mark. The very next ball, you are called to adjudicate a very tight run out appeal against that batsman - you're unsighted but you think he is probably out. What do you do?

3. In an Under 14s match, the opposing team cannot provide an umpire. You call both captains together and say that you are happy to umpire at both ends, so long as the batsmen are honest and walk. Both captains agree. In the first over, you see and hear a big edge to the keeper, but the batsman waits for your decision. You give him out. You call the captain from the boundary and underline your point about walking. Next over, it happens again. What do you do?

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty] 

The Thunder Downunder: Walking with Dinosaurs

Debate has raged down in the Dungeon about the walking non-issue. These types of arguments rarely rage at the Shed. Davo reckons it’s a complete waste of oxygen. The Marylebone Cricket Club’s Official Laws of Cricket are clear. Law 27 is explicit. In layman’s terms what it essentially says is that a batsman can give himself out if he wishes, but isn’t inclined to (27.1). Additionally, an umpire has the power to order a batsman back to the crease, if in his opinion he disagrees with the player’s misplaced morality (27.7). It ends with the incontrovertible phrase, “an umpire's decision, once made, is final” (27.9).

In light of this debate and with a parched palette, your correspondent hitched a ride in Davo’s ute and headed down to the Wattle and Swan to have a beer with local umpire Dickie Cowans, a man that played and officiated in Lancastrian League cricket for over two decades before being seduced to emigrate to Australia with the love of his life, local sculptor and Quarry Road Cricket Club scorer Rhonda Barrett.

An excellent Celtic flautist who once played at Buckingham Palace for the Queen Mother, Dickie began umpiring locally as soon as the Tasmanian Cricket Association allowed. With a veteran’s knowledge of the English game and six years experience in Australia, the Shed sought his views on walkers. Below lies the unedited transcription.

Nesta: G’Day Dickie.

Dickie: How are you old mate?

Nesta: Paddling upstream but she’ll be right. I was wondering if I could gauge your views on cricket for the website I write for occasionally.

Dickie: Googly isn’t it?

Nesta: That’s right.

Dickie: OK but it’s your shout. I had a read there the other day and saw that toff Martin-Jenkins taking the high moral ground.

Nesta: We’re in harmony today Dickie because that is precisely what I’ve come to talk about. Before we begin could you start off and tell the readers how you were given the name Dickie when you first arrived in these parts?

Dickie: Well you know this story because you’re the bastard who gave it to me. And it has stuck to me like a bad smell. Where’s that beer?

Nesta: It’s coming. And it wasn’t me it was Bluey. Go on tell the story. You know what? I’ve just realized that I don’t even know the name your Mother gave you.

Dickie: It was my Father and it is Brian.

Nesta: Easy mate. Come on Dickie,  just tell us the story. This is your chance to air your side of the tale.

Dickie: Yeah. OK. Well it was my first match umpiring down here and after being put through the wringer by the TCA, I was finally allowed to get back on the field.

Nesta: What happened with the TCA?

Dickie: They treated me poorly when I first arrived. They made me sit a beginners exam even though I’d already been umpiring back home for a dozen years. All’s forgiven now.

Nesta: Sounds fair. What did they say when you told them you were experienced and licensed in England?

Dickie: That I wouldn’t have any trouble passing the test!

Nesta: You probably thought he was joking! Hey Dickie, now what about that nickname?

Dickie: Yeah. Well I strolled out to the toss where you and Bluey from Sorell were waiting and you both started sledging me.

Nesta: That wasn’t sledging Dickie. And anyway, it was your own fault for wearing that silly white coat.

Dickie: Yeah well, if you let me finish.

Nesta: Sorry mate. Continue.

Dickie: As I was saying, you and the other captain were calling me Dickie and giggling like schoolgirls.

Nesta: Steady on Dickie. It’s a form of affection. You know that, don’t you?

Dickie: Well I do now but I didn’t then.

Nesta:  Is that why you gave me out leg before to a ball missing leg by three feet?

Dickie: It was swinging back and hitting middle! And you batted all bloody day didn’t you?

Nesta: 112 before that dodgy decision if I remember. Rhonda would have the book. It’s hard to forget centuries on the first day of the season. I know you didn’t mean it. It was late in the day and you were sweating buckets in that coat of yours.

Dickie: Are you printing this?

Nesta: I’m joking mate, we all know that umpires are bastions of integrity and honesty. Anyway, what do you think of walkers?

Dickie: Well, since living down here it's been pointed out to me that historically walking was a way for upper class Poms to assert their moral authority over everybody else.

Nesta: That’s exactly what Martin-Jenkins was doing then?

Dickie: What do you think, Nesta? Putting shit on the rest of us is a British ruling class tradition.

Nesta: Seen much walking down here?

Dickie: Never. I was told by old Tom Hawkins, he’s umpired for 40 years, that the real cheats are the walkers.

Nesta: What do you mean?

Dickie: Fellows that walk don’t do it all the time. So they plant a seed in the umpire’s mind that they are above suspicion. That way they are often given the benefit of the doubt when they do nick one.

Nesta: Not by old Tom, I bet. You're right, you don’t see too many blokes walking on 99. Did you see much walking when you umped and played in England?

Dickie: Remarkably Nest old man, I did.

Nesta: What was your job then? Walking coathanger?

Dickie: Not exactly.

Nesta: So walkers are not moral crusaders but con men. Is that right?

Dickie: I never thought so until I came to live here but I think that is a correct assessment.

Nesta: Should we suspend them for bringing the game into disrepute?

Dickie: Enough bloody questions Nesta. Where’s my ale? Being a celebrity is hard slog on a Sunday afternoon. Where’s your guitar? Let’s go out on the verandah, sit in the sun and play some tunes.

Nesta: Sounds like a plan, Dickie. I’ll get the beers.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

It's just not cricket - to walk or not to walk?

With CMJ's Cowdrey (right) Lecture promoting discussion amongst cricket's cognoscenti (see this debate at the Guardian, or our own Nesta's typically robust defence of his countrymen's approach in the comments section of this post) the Trumpet ventures two proposals.

(i) If the available technology shows a player nicked the ball and didn't walk, the TV umpire should give the player out via a link to the field umpires. The player should then be asked by the referee why he didn't walk and, should his explanation be deemed unsatisfactory, he should pick up a ban. After a brief period of acclimatising to the new rule, players would walk for nicks as they do for skyers to deep mid-wicket and as they do for most run-outs these days. We get a quicker, better, more honest game at the top level.

(ii) In the recreational game, there are real problems getting umpires for games as it's time-consuming and mentally and physically demanding. Umpires are really doing the players a favour (whether paid or not) and players should return that favour by helping them. In common with all sports, cricket is a cooperative activity whose participants consent to explicit and implicit rules. That cooperation should, in the recreational game, extend to the umpires.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Facing the Music

The hypnotic polyrhythms of Blackstar were emanating deep below the surface in the dank and funky UK Googly dungeons when the Editor phoned this week to request a follow up to last week’s Thunder Downunder column.

It appears that the mere mention of Australia fielding Ponting’s dream opening attack of Lee and Tait, hurling 150 kmh thunderbolts at English throats, has caused a climate of fear and a deluge of emails in the Old Dart. There was some idiotic defiance by a few with short attention spans but that was soon forgotten by the intermittent and fickle orgy of Twenty/20, Twelve/12, Ten/10, Eight/8 and Five/5 matches that are currently underway on the well drenched soil of Britain.

The Editor could barely be heard above the sweet melodies and ringing stinging crash cymbals as he communicated the groundswell and controversy. He instructed the Shed’s contacts to find which watering hole Boonie and Merv are currently occupying and to seek out their views on who will replace Justin Langer as Matthew Hayden's opening partner.

Big shoes to fill. Langer and Hayden are statistically one of the most successful opening partnerships in Test match history. Only the legendary West Indian pairing of Greenidge and Haynes have scored more runs for the first wicket. However, the Australians clearly have the superior average. Greenidge and Haynes scored 827 more runs but they played 35 more innings. Testament, no doubt, to Desmond and Gordon’s longevity and professionalism in an era when fewer Test matches were played each calendar year.

After accepting this assignment your correspondent negotiated a meagre expense account - enough for two phone calls - and also agreed to investigate the player that will replace Adam Gilchrist in the one-day set-up when he hangs up the yellow togs later this year or early next.

Even bigger boots to fill. Gilly is unarguably the best wicket-keeper batsman to grace the modern game and while his skills are diminishing he can still perform at the highest level. His match-winning 149 from 104 balls in the World Cup final will surely be recorded as one of the finest innings ever produced by a one-day opening batsman.

After one well placed phone call to the conscientious, fluorescent orange dungareed volunteers of the Victorian State Emergency Service, we discovered the mo mafia snuggled on the bar, splashing their feet in the now stagnant floodwaters inside the Burrabogie Island Sailing and Fishing Club.

Before Big Merv and his little mate were dragged away kicking and cursing by rescuers in a rubber dinghy, a few insights were gleaned and below is the run-down on the players likely to face the new ball and the fresh pacemen this coming summer.

Brad Hodge - Age 32
66 Centuries
This week desperately and insecurely volunteered to replace Justin Langer as Test opener. It won’t happen. Has a slim chance of securing the one-day opening position. Has impressed of late as a middle order bat in pyjamas but there are still doubts about his technique to the ball moving away. His best chance of securing a long-term Test place is if Michael Hussey opens.

Michael Hussey - Age 32
62 Centuries
Averages 80 from his 16 Tests and 59 from 72 ODIs. Easily the best candidate to open in the five day arena but his crucial Bevan-like finishing position in the ODI squad makes his selection as Test opener a schizophrenic proposition. If any player in the squad could fill two vastly different roles and not let it affect his game, it is Mister Cricket.

Phil Jaques - Age 28
39 Centuries
The incumbent. The prolific southpaw is the perfect carbon copy replacement for Justin Langer in the Test squad if the selectors opt to keep Hussey in the middle order. Has scored runs on all surfaces and has proved himself time and again. Questions remain over his fielding and that is enough to keep him out of the loop where limited-overs cricket is concerned. 

Michael Clarke - Age 26
26 Centuries
The golden boy of Australian cricket with a long and illustrious career ahead. His boyhood hero was Mark Waugh and Pup would love to open the batting for the ODI team. Has done the job on nine occasions for eight wins and has excelled averaging 63. A strong candidate and obvious successor to open when Gilchrist retires.

Chris Rogers - Age 29
22 Centuries
Demanded selection in the contracted squad due to his gritty run scoring consistency over the last five domestic summers. Short sighted and colour blind, Chris would be a surprising first choice replacement for Langer but if the ginger tenacious leftie was given the job he wouldn’t let the side down.

Shane Watson - Age 26
13 Centuries
Possible opener in both forms of the game. Will open for Queensland with Hayden in the first two Pura Cup matches at the start of the summer and if he succeeds he may get Langer’s job. The most technically correct batsman in the squad and a favourite of Ponting. Opened at the last Champions Trophy and acquitted himself well. Will be in both teams but it is still uncertain what his role will be.

Brad Haddin - Age 29
12 Centuries
Gilchrist’s obvious replacement in the one-day squad and opens the batting in limited-overs cricket for NSW. Under pressure from Tasmania’s Tim Paine and West Australia’s Luke Ronchi and will need to perform when chances present to keep his contract next year.

Matthew Hayden has been reported as saying that he intends playing on indefinitely to guide the next set of openers into the international arena. Hussey would be the best choice in Test matches but balance also needs to be considered so Phil Jaques will probably get the nod for the first Test against Sri Lanka in November. Shane Watson is the roughie and cannot be discounted. In the one-day arena Michael Clarke looks set to emulate his hero but once again Watson’s name is on the short list.

Overall Australia’s batting stocks are strong and whoever the selectors choose will be under pressure to keep their spot. With 27 Tests and innumerable ODIs scheduled in the next 18 months Australia’s top order should be well and truly settled when they arrive in England in 2009. 

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Midwinter Blues

The midwinter solstice is history for yet another year and all at the shed are wildly rejoicing. Apart from anticipating waxing the board and cracking open the home-brew, lengthening sunshine allows for an extra over or two in the backyard before the batsman begs for mercy and a bad light decision. The countdown has begun and there are only 108 days to the beginning of the Australian domestic season. In the meantime the national squad will play the Twenty/20 World Cup and a 7 match ODI series in India but unless the editors of this fine publication generously adjust their priorities, the crew at the shed will be watching those matches on the flat-screen.

With blue skies and warmer days approaching it is time that your correspondent faced what he has been deliberately ignoring for most of 2007. Impermanence, like the snow melting into the rocky earth of Kosciusko has taken some months to sink in. It’s time to accept that the retirements of Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne will forever change the make-up of Australia's bowling stocks.

Pigeon was the rock on which the pace attack was constructed. Shane is unarguably the greatest leg-spinner that has ever played the game. Many pundits have opined that they will be impossible to replace and Australia will now come back to the field in international cricket. Here at the shed we are not convinced but like all things, time will tell.

When the Australian selectors, mo mafia David Boon and Merv Hughes, solicitor Andrew Hilditch and apprentice Jamie Cox, named the contracted squad at the beginning of May, this malady was in the forefront of their collective minds. Over an unshaven frothy glass with Boonie through the week he enlightened the Thunder to the process. Players were chosen on their form from last season and the likelihood of national selection over the next 12 months, taking into account who Australia plays. The balance of the side and the need to ensure the future development of the Test and one-day international team was paramount.

The batsman picked themselves and four wrist-spinners, White, Bailey, Hogg and Macgill were selected to cover for Warne’s absence. Eight fast bowlers were chosen blending youth and experience, left and right arms, swing and seam with both red and white ball.

With the cold, hard truth staring us keenly in the eye, the occupants of the shed ran the rule over the squad of quicks and present for our cherished and beloved visitors our collective wisdom for your leisurely perusal.

Brett Lee - Age 30
499 international wickets
This summer is the defining season in Brett’s career. Now that McGrath is retired it will be up to Bing to become the leader and spearhead of the attack. Injured and bitterly disappointed at missing the World Cup, the blonde speedster will want to make up for lost opportunities by terrorizing the Sri Lankans and Indians who have never been entirely comfortable on the hard bouncy pitches of the Australian continent. Often brilliant in the 50 over format, the jury is still out when it comes to the longer form of the grand game.

Jason Gillespie - Age 32
402 international wickets
The not-so-old stager deserves his place in the squad after a solid domestic season playing in a poor South Australian team. Obviously needed for his experience and guile, Dizzy would be a welcome inclusion not only for his tight bowling but for his resolute batting. Lost a yard of pace but has adjusted in the last 12 months and is expected to teach the younger more inexperienced bowlers what is required for a long career at the international level.

Nathan Bracken - Age 29
128 international wickets
Regarded by some as a one-day specialist, Bracks like all his team-mates had a great World Cup. Has only played 5 Tests to date but with 25 Test matches to be contested between now and December 2008 he is sure to play a few more. His skill at reverse swing and his newly developed clever changes of pace has made him a difficult prospect in all conditions.

Stuart Clark - Age 31
84 international wickets
A late bloomer Stu has excelled in Test matches and will be the obvious replacement for McGrath. From the same Sydney grade club as Pigeon, he has modelled himself on the great man and will be the first bowler selected when Australia’s next Test rolls around in November.

Shane Watson - Age 26
65 international wickets
The big hope of Australian cricket. If Watson can fulfill his potential he may eventually be regarded as Australia’s best allrounder since Keith Miller. Will allow Ponting an extra pace bowling option and will more than likely bat at 6 or 7 and eventually replace Gilchrist as Australia’s premier allrounder.

Shaun Tait - Age 24
33 international wickets
Prematurely selected during The 2005 Ashes, the injury prone paceman has recently had elbow surgery and hopes to recover for the Twenty/20 World Cup. If he and Lee are ever fit at the same time the selectors will be tempted to play them both. Ponting has made no secret of his desire to have Lee and Tait bowling in tandem at the world’s best bats. A frightening and most entertaining prospect and if it ever occurs Australia will have a 21st century version of Lillee and Thomson.

Mitchell Johnson - Age 25
26 international wickets
Identified and fast-tracked through the system by Dennis Lillee, left-arm Johnson is another youngster of which much is expected. Quick, tall and accurate, Mitch may have to wait another season or two to cement a place in the first XI. He will be competing with fellow left-armer Bracken for a place and could probably do with another solid season for Queensland under his belt. 

Ben Hilfenhaus - Age 24
3 international wickets
Incredibly Ben was laying bricks for a living less than 12 months ago. After taking a record number of wickets in a domestic season and with his laconic rural Tasmanian demeanor, Hilfenhaus is already a cult hero throughout the continent. An intelligent quick who can swing it both ways as well as being a master of seam and length, Ben regularly took early top-order wickets and was the key to Tasmania winning it’s first domestic 4 day trophy. Many good pundits within the cricket community think that Hilfenhaus may be one of the Baggygreen’s all-time greats. There is a lot of pressure on the lad and it will be interesting to see how he develops over the next 18 months.

Combined, Warne and McGrath snared 1949 international wickets. Their absence does leave a great big hole in Australia’s bowling set-up. Of that there is no doubt. In the next 12 months it is likely that all eight selected quicks will get an opportunity to push for permanent selection. Only Stuart Clark at this stage is certain of a place at the beginning of the next Test series against Sri Lanka. Watson, if he can stay fit, will play as a batting allrounder. Macgill will be the spinner and so that only leaves two spots for the other six contracted pace bowlers to fill. Competition will be fierce and it promises to be fascinating witnessing the evolution of Australia’s next generation of bowling partnerships. 

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: The Australian Method

In the ten weeks since the conclusion of the 2007 World Cup every Test playing nation with the exceptions of South Africa and New Zealand have replaced or are in the process of replacing their head coach. Some transitions have been seamless. Other plans have come embarrassingly unstitched. However, one constant thread weaves its way through each and every country's coaching dramas, dilemmas and decisions. Australians.They were either departing, long-listed, short-listed, coveted, seduced, rejected or appointed. It would seem that cricket administrators the world over consider a coach in possession of a passport emblazoned with emu and kangaroo an important ingredient on the road to success.

Late last week Sri Lanka hired their fifth Australian coach in a decade when they recruited New South Wales incumbent Trevor Bayliss to replace the reluctant Tom Moody. The self-professed high-powered Sri Lankan selection committee, comprising such luminaries as Aravinda de Silva and Duleep Mendis, interviewed current Queensland coach Terry Oliver and John Buchanan's assistant Jamie Siddons before being captivated by Bayliss' presentation. After witnessing Trevor's salesmanship first-hand SLC secretary Kanangan Mathivanan said: "When we knew how good he was, we signed him up immediately because there are a lot of countries head-hunting for coaches at present."

Bayliss' good fortune at landing such a plum coaching position now leaves NSW without a mentor for the up-coming 2007/08 season. Former NSW coaches Geoff Lawson and Steve Rixon would both enjoy the opportunity of replacing Bayliss at the SCG but Cricket NSW administrators would be wise to wait for the Pakistan board to appoint their coach before they make a definitive decision.

Under tight security, Geoff Lawson flew to Islamabad on Saturday to personally submit his application as Woolmer's successor, while Rixon appears uninterested despite several advances from Pakistan chairman Dr. Nasim Ashraf. Former ICC high performance manager Richard Done and 1996 World Cup winning coach Dav Whatmore are also in the mix to become Pakistan's next coach.

Whatmore recently finished his 4 year Bangadeshi contract with his already impressive reputation intact. Although invited to extend his tenure, Dav declined, choosing instead to apply for the unadvertised position as the chief of Team India. That he was not considered for the short list, or the long list presumably, must have been a shock. The BCCI in their wisdom instead offered the job to recalcitrant South African Graham Ford and bizarrely interviewed John Emburey rather than talk to Dav. It appears that Bangladesh's victory and subsequent elimination of India at the recent World Cup has cut deep in Indian cricket circles.

Whatmore's best chance of an international job now lies in the Pakistan appointment but the fact the PCB were very keen to speak with Lawson after interviewing Dav doesn't bode well. Perhaps Whatmore will be offered the NSW top job after the international coaching positions are filled. But then again, perhaps not. The Blues have always employed one of their own as leader and as Dav has Victorian ties it would be a surprise if he landed the job.

Whatmore's assistant and Bangladesh U/19 and ‘A’ team coach, Darwin grade legend Shaun Williams, was appointed as the young Tigers interim boss for the soon tour of Sri Lanka. In a logical decision that led to an easy transition, Williams won out over highly regarded Australian team performance analyst Richard McInnes.

The BCB general secretary Mahbub Anam stressed that the Williams posting was on a series to series basis and that the board were hopeful of Dav’s return. He stated at a mid-week press conference, "Our door is still open for Whatmore. He is a great coach and the Bangladesh team has improved a lot during his four-year tenure." Reports have also indicated that the BCB have created a vastly improved salary package to induce Whatmore back to Dhaka if he fails in his bid to secure the Pakistan position.

Current English tourists, West Indies, replaced former Queensland and Australian Academy coach Bennett King after a dismal World Cup with assistant David Moore. Moore a former NSW wicket-keeper has been Bennett’s right-hand man since his Academy days and he has a tough job ahead of him to create a winning environment within the disparate Caribbean structure.

Assuming Pakistan choose Lawson, Whatmore or Done as coach, five of the nine Test playing countries will have an Australian at the helm of their international squads. The infatuation with the Australian way has been a cricketing trend for well over a decade with only South Africa and England not employing an Australian as head coach in that period. It should be noted, however, that Rod Marsh and Troy Cooley made a significant impact on English cricket during their terms as Academy chief and fast-bowling mentor respectively.

This fetish for employing coaches from the Australian system raises an interesting question. Do Australians manage cricket teams better than other nationalities?

Most Australian coaches of overseas sides have had mixed success. In fact no country with an Australian at the helm, Dav Whatmore’s Sri Lankans excepted, have defeated Australia in a Test series or World Cup match. The evidence suggests that having an Australian coach is no panacea for success but rather a nostrum, especially when playing the four-time World Champions.

It would appear cricket administrators are under the impression that the Baggygreen sheen will rub off on their own squads by the mere association with Australian methods and personnel. Ricky Ponting while visiting Bangladesh and India this past week put that myth into perspective.

“A coach is only as good as his team.” Punter said during a corporate function to promote Run Ricky Run, a charitable venture he is conducting with the sponsorship of a leading Indian bank. “He needs to be a good man manager and know his players but as for coaching, I’m not convinced. For example there is not a coach on Earth that could teach Anil Kumble how to bowl a better leg-break.”

After further questioning Ponting then debunked the myth further when he said, "If the national side hadn't been playing as well as it had been doing over the past few years, I don't think Australian coaches would have been much sought after. What a team needs is a man manager. Someone who manages time well, thinks outside the sphere of cricket and challenges the players everyday."

He then went on to say that the selectors role in managing generational change is more important than the work of the coach, "I think the Australian selectors handled it very well. Whenever there was a group of players of the same age on the verge of retirement, they brought on youngsters regularly."

Upon hearing of Ricky’s sentiments, Australian selector Merv Hughes agreed and humorously quipped during his regular Sunday morning television appearance, “No coach in the game of cricket should be regarded as a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein”.

With men like the moustachioed Mervyn masterminding the Australian method, is it any wonder that the burly blokes from Downunder are desired across the globe for their cricketing expertise?

In late breaking news, NSW chief executive Dave Gilbert announced this afternoon that NSW Second XI coach Matthew Mott will succeed Trevor Bayliss as NSW senior coach for season 2007/08.

[Nesta Quin]

The Thunder Downunder: Fishing with Roy

This week an eerie hush fell over the shed. Even the cockatoos were absent from their morning routine of squawking raucously while ripping the verandah rails to shreds. Still, news has filtered through of Shane Warne’s five-for in a losing team at the beautiful Arundel Castle. Also Phil Jaques did his hopes of filling the vacant Australian opening slot no harm, scoring 124 in Worcestershire’s massive record equalling first innings total of 701 for 6 declared. Marcus North scored a fine century and snagged four wickets with his gentle off-breaks in an exciting match at Gloucester, while Victorian captain Craig White scored a ton playing for Somerset in their thrashing of Leicestershire.

In one-day action Brad Hodge continued his run of good form with 119 not out for Lancashire and the ever impressive Warne was influential with ball taking 3 for 30 from his 10 overs in Hampshire’s 2 run win against Kent.

With the off-season shenanigans in full swing and little to report on except roadkill and torrential rain, your nomadic reporter was favoured indeed when his mate Davo popped by the shed for a few cold ones. Not only did Davo have the compassion to fill the fridge but he also brought with him a DVD of a pilot television program made recently in Brisbane with the apposite title of Fishing with Roy.

In a Googly exclusive your Australian correspondent has been fortunate enough to view the show and although Davo reckons it is top secret, I am permitted to share the basic plot and a few of the gags with the good readers of the Thunder Downunder.

It begins on a perfect Queensland morning with a zooming wide-shot of a zinced-lipped Andrew 'Roy' Symonds chatting amicably with a grinning Matthew Hayden as the two big men stroll down a long wharf, tackle box and esky in hand. While boarding a spanking new 7.6 metre executive vessel at a luxurious Gold Coast canal marina, Symonds looked straight to camera and confidently exclaimed, ’G’Day. This morning on Fishing with Roy we're heading out to Stradbroke reef to rustle up some tucker that my mate Matt’s gonna cook-up for us a bit later on.’

The sparkling sunshine sprinkled transient natatorial diamonds as Roy and Haydos wrestled jocularly over the wheel. A friendly argument broke out until Andrew reminded Matt of the sinking of Our Lady. Matthew then reluctantly relinquished his hold on the wheel. Our Lady was Hayden’s 4.8 metre fishing boat that he capsized and sunk on the Stradbroke bar in 1999. That Roy was his passenger at the time and they had to swim for 90 minutes across the treacherous waters of Moreton Bay had not been forgotten. Roy finished the exchange with, ‘Look mate you almost killed us the last time you were skipper.’ Smiling a broad white-lipped grin he continued, ‘And when we swam through that school of pilchard I was secretly hoping a hungry shark mistook you for a fat seal.’

That sorted, Symonds took the wheel and charted the boat towards the Pacific Ocean. Before entering the vast aquatic wilderness Roy slowed the vessel so Matthew could lay a couple of pots in strategic locations along the river. As Matthew talked to camera about rancid flesh being irresistible to crayfish, Roy snuck up behind him as he was laying the last trap and pushed him in the drink while laughing hysterically. It became clear very early on who was the alpha male on this ship.

Cruising out to sea, salty dread ropes blowing across his face, Roy educated on various methods of tying hooks and the appropriate way to maintain your reel. He spoke with genuine excitement about different types of rod and bait selection. He was especially keen to show off his tackle box of home-made lures. His favourite a red, green, purple and white iridescent creation was made from feather of corella, lyrebird and rosella and the wing cuticle of a long dead Christmas Beetle. It was a sight to behold as he twirled it between his forefinger and thumb for the viewers, and his own, kaleidoscopic delight.

Matthew resplendently ridiculous in lime-green board shorts, yellow sponsor’s singlet, florescent orange life-jacket and sandals, reminded about the importance of the laws concerning water safety. With a wide smile he told a few anecdotes and Ricky received a grand bollocking about his comb-over and much deep chucking mirth followed.

Eventually, the fishing began and Roy was pulling them in from port and starboard, stern and bow. His knowledge of nomenclature, piscal anatomy and habitat was impressive. Matt elucidated about the environment, biodiversity and the need to leave something behind for the 2051 Ashes squad. Roy also demanded that he clean the fish. Matthew objected to this chore so Roy looked him square in the eye and said, ‘What’s the show called, mate. Fishing with Roy not Fishing with Boofhead’. With those words ringing in his ears Hayden clinically disemboweled a gasping mackerel with the same fury and ferocity he normally reserves for the new ball.

They enjoyed a beer or two and a chinwag on the return leg with a hilarious exchange of views concerning the poopdeck and touring India with Warnie. After clearing the craypots Roy expertly pulled into the wharf of a palatial Gold Coast mansion. There was much merriment as it was explained that it was Damien Martyn's place and he wasn't expecting them.

Matthew sparked up the red-brick barbeque while Roy sneaked through Marto's back door, camera in one hand, tempestuous snapping lobster in the other, and punk'd him showing his cut shot to a lively Queensland wannabe supermodel. After the initial shock and some coaxing out of the bedroom, a rueful Damien put his disheveled lass in a cab and joined the boys out the back for a feed.

Hayden all spices and sweat, cooked up a storm whilst sucking on a stubby. He displayed with an easy-going charm how to fillet, marinate and cook the meat to perfection. He chopped herb, bulb and seed with the skill, dexterity and soft hands required to play the latest of late-cuts and then dressed the fish with the imagination of a culinary tailor. It was obvious that he was just as comfortable with blade, tongs and fire as he is with willow.

Martyn, wearing loud pink Hawaiian shirt, khaki cargo pants and his ever-shining Hollywood grin, whipped up a tasty salad that his Mum taught him to make while being sledged repeatedly for his earlier dalliance with his amorous anorexic acquaintance.

The show ended with the three of them tucking in at an outdoor table on the patio as a red sun descended into the Darling Downs. Davo’s mail is that the TV executives were impressed and some episodes will be recorded professionally between the Twenty/20 World Cup and the start of the Australian season.

It was a great show for a first effort and a terrific advertisement for the Queensland way of life. It was laidback and the blokey affection Roy and Matt displayed was genuine and heartwarming. Busting Damien Martyn was special and Davo and I agree that Shane Watson attending the hairdresser would be the perfect next target to get Roy'd.

[Nesta Quin] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: The Long Road to 2011

Another busy week in the Thunder sheds with Greg Blewett and Shane Warne spitting the dummy, Adam Gilchrist contemplating retirement from the one-day arena and Damien Wright breaking down - not for the first time - on an off-season mortgage lopping adventure in Wales.

The editors were startled at the response to the debut column last week but were a bit miffed to have to sort through the hundreds of emails that arrived in their inbox. (Thanks Mum but from now on send them to my address. Or better yet, Dad’s.)  So impressed were my generous employers that they provided a one-way ticket on the Ghan and a single complimentary meal voucher to the Darwin Harbour fish and chip shop for the week long ICC World Cricket League Third Division qualifying tournament for the 2011 World Cup played last week in the tropical Northern Territory capital. With no accommodation provided I fortunately discovered a luxuriant mango tree to sleep under outside Marrara Oval. The tree was laden and your correspondent was victorious most nights in a fierce nocturnal tropical fruit battle with a colony of flying fox and a concupiscent possum. The spoils were sticky and organically delicious.

Despite my benefactors best efforts I survived and hitched a ride back to the sheds with a shotgun toting, ute driving, flannelette and denim wearing Anglican vicar named Brenda, who kindly lent me her hair-dryer to exsiccate the guano off my notes when we stopped for a dip at Mataranka. While soaking in the hot springs and staring at the starry desert sky, my sky-god loving companion, resplendent in crucifix pendant and Akubra, pointed out the irony of fighting sharp-clawed arboreal beasts to survive in a town named after the legendary evolutionist. 

I’d very much like to enlighten you, dear readers, on the machinations of the qualifying system for the 2011 World Cup but unfortunately Messrs Duckworth and Lewis have not responded to my calls or messages. When I do call I hear a computer voice detailing the statistical likelihood of either Mr Duckworth or Mr Lewis being in their office at any given moment in time and space. Currently it is 0.354569874512. I rummaged around the bottom drawer and found the slide-rule and after much cursing and confusion, your correspondent calculated much to his disappointment, that the infamous mathematicians were currently putting on the 13th green of the Belle Mare Golf Course situated on the lush Indian Ocean island of Mauritius.

Suffice to say that of the eight nations represented at this Division Three tournament, the top two go on to the next stage - unsurprisingly called the Division Two tournament - that is contested at Windhoek, Namibia in November.

There were two groups of four and Group A consisted of Argentina, Fiji, Italy and Papua New Guinea. While the Group B participants were Cayman Islands, Hong Kong, Tanzania and Uganda.

Group B was won with relative ease by Uganda winning all three matches by margins of 91 runs versus Hong Kong, 4 wickets in a low scoring contest with Tanzania and 26 runs against second placed Group B nation Cayman Islands.

Group A was far more exciting with three nations Argentina, Papua New Guinea and Italy, each winning two out of three, separated at the end of the first phase by run rate. Argentina topped the group with Papua New Guinea earning the other semi-final place. The luckless Italians, winners of the first and best match of the tournament against Argentina, were squeezed out by an inferior run-rate.

So after a dozen group matches where some good spirited cricket was played and many mangoes on grassy mounds consumed, the confirmed semi-finalists were, Uganda v Papua New Guinea and Argentina v Cayman Islands. These two matches was where the real prize would be decided, a place in the next round of qualification.

In the first semi, the unfancied Argentinians knocked over the pre-tournament favourites Cayman Islands for a paltry 102 runs in 40 overs. The hero was Argentina’s captain and burgeoning heart-throb Esteban MacDermott. The tall and athletic 25 year old MacDermott turned many a ladies head whilst in Darwin and on the hill at the Gardens Oval a throng of tanned local lassies were swooning and yelping as he blew them a kiss after everyone of his 4 crucial wickets.

The Bargies - as they were affectionately nicknamed in Darwin - lost wickets regularly in their chase and at one stage looked in danger of losing when 66-6, but the cool and quiet efficiency of wicketkeeper Alejandro Ferguson saw them home with 4 wickets and 94 balls to spare.

This was a brilliant and quite unexpected performance from the team in sky blue. They were only included in this tournament because of the suspension of the United States by the ICC. Before the tournament began hardly a soul gave the men from South America a metaphorical snowball’s chance of qualifying to Division Two. Many times they were under pressure and responded with spirit, passion and a fierce determination.

Their captain was brimming with pride at the post-match press conference.

“The boys could have easily lost focus or confidence after the one wicket defeat against Italy," MacDermott said, "but they remained committed and stayed on track because they trusted their instincts. This is the reward for their dedication and continuous hard work.

The man of the match then humbly gave credit where it was due and most unusually and perhaps dangerously for a South American called football, soccer.

"The credit for our promotion to Division Two not only goes to the team but to the entire support staff and all those who backed us all the way. Our performance in the tournament shows how rapidly cricket is growing in our country where soccer remains the first-choice sport."

The other semi featured the unbeaten and athletic Ugandans up against the plucky Papua New Guineans. The Ugandans were unbackable favourites in this contest but the Pappies - they love a nickname in the Top End - would not see their World Cup dreams dissolve without a fight. They fought tooth and nail and in a see-sawing contest the Ugandans prevailed by one wicket with 4 balls to spare. 

The Pappies skipper Rava Dikarna called correctly and batted on a well prepared pitch at the Tracy Village Oval. Early wickets were lost as the new-ball seamed around - a feature of this tournament - and at one stage PNG were reeling at 32-4. The beefy Mahuru Dai rescued the innings with an impressive 86 in 93 deliveries. He was ably assisted by John Ovia’s patient 43 and Asad Vala who scored a brisk unbeaten 40 to help the Pappies to the respectable and defendable 203-6 from their 50 overs.

Uganda’s chase under a hot and harsh tropical sun began in the worst way imaginable when young left-handed Arthur Kyobe was adjudged lbw to a booming inswinger delivered by PNG right-arm quick Hitolo Arena. Indonesian umpire Shahul Hammed considered it plum and had no hesitation in raising his wagging index finger. Undeterred by the brevity of the occasion 17 year old Roger Mukasa impetuously flayed the new ball around the park and when he was dismissed for 43 from 32 balls the Ugandans were off to a flyer at 75-2 from 12 overs.

After the fireworks from Mukasa the PNG boys dug deep knowing that all their hopes of proceeding further in this World Cup depended on the next few hours cricket. A superb spell of off-spin bowling by the wily veteran James Brazier triggered a mid-innings collapse and his unbroken spell yielded the impressive figures of 10-4-17-4. Brazier mixed up his deliveries in a masterclass of off-spin bowling and with the help of allrounder Ovia, who chimed in with 3 late wickets, the favourites Uganda were in trouble at 188-9 still needing 14 runs to get off 21 balls. Man of the match Kenneth Kamyuka steered the Ugandans to safety with a mature run a ball 43 not out, and his last wicket partnership with bunny Charles Waiswa where Kamyuka intelligently farmed the strike scoring all 14 runs, proved to be as anxious a finish as you could wish to witness.

The Ugandans were thrilled to progress to the next stage and their captain Joey Olweny told Cricinfo, "Obviously now we want to win the final and have immediately set our eyes at Argentina, but for the time being we want to enjoy this achievement because when we left our shores, the target was to qualify for the final and earn a place in Division Two. It has been a very tense and pressurised match and the boys have more than one reason to celebrate. The boys really deserve it."

The semi-final winners Argentina and Uganda celebrated their qualification with gutso and deservedly so. They will now join Denmark, Oman , United Arab Emirates and the host nation, Namibia in Windhoek in November.

The final played at the pristinely prepared Gardens Oval on a sunny breathless Saturday was a casual affair with only prestige at stake and it was won by the Ugandans by 91 runs keeping intact their unbeaten record in the tournament.

Your correspondent, despite sleeping in the long-grass and battling the fauna for his nightly tucker witnessed one of the most delightful cricket carnivals that has graced Australian soil. Eight teams from four continents consisting entirely of amateurs played their cricket in good spirits with smiles on their faces and the commitment and the desire you would expect from men who have given their time, many at a personal cost, to represent their nations. The cynicism that often surrounds the major nations of international cricket was absent and the ICC deserve the highest praise for creating a path for all 97 countries in the cricketing family to compete for a place at the 2011 World Cup.

In addition the umpires from the Asian and Pacific countries of Indonesia, Singapore, Papua New Guinea, Australia and Japan did a splendid job without technical aids. Not one player was reported for dissent during the whole 20 matches and the Spirit of Cricket was enthusiastically embraced by all the teams.

In other news filtering through to the shed, two Ugandan players, teenagers Patrick Ochan and Jimmy Okello, have been reported missing in Darwin after failing to board the plane with their team-mates on their long and disjointed journey back to Kampala. Few are concerned for their safety with it likely that the lads enjoyed Darwin’s legendary hospitality to its fullest and have decided to continue their celebrations. Who could blame them. The mangoes are ripe, the tropical Arafura Sea is warm and the women friendly and beautiful. 

The pessimists are always keen to denigrate the future prospects of international cricket. These myopic mental midgets fail to understand what cricket is really about. It isn’t about corporate boxes or match receipts or politics. It is a game. A glorious and ancient game based on fraternity, competition and equality. This week in tropical Darwin the Thunder Downunder witnessed the future of this grandest of games. Vibrant, egalitarian, sporting and global.

[Nesta Quin]

Meet the Writer: Nesta Quin

A self-confessed cricket tragic, Nesta has been infatuated with cricket since sitting on his Dad's shoulders at the 1975 SCG Ashes Test. He still has the autographs that Alan Knott and Rodney Marsh kindly scribbled on the back of a pie wrapper after stumps. After that memorable day his still developing mind decided right then and there that he would be a wicketkeeper. He has now kept wicket for 25 seasons and has decided to continue despite the slowing reflexes and the weary hands. The sentimental pie wrapper sits framed on the wall of his mud-bricked study between a glossy poster of Bob Marley and a prized Sidney Nolan sketch of the Derwent River.   

Coached as a teenager by the late and great Barry Knight with the sporadic assistance of Doug Walters and Brian Tallon, Nesta excelled at youth levels and has played competitive cricket in every Australian state, England, India, New Zealand, Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong and the United States. He will soon qualify for the Tasmanian Cavaliers and is training in anticipation of selection for their 2009 tour of the West Indies, North America and the British Isles.

Nesta's knowledge of cricket matters is vast and if you ask him, peerless.

When offered the opportunity to write a weekly column on Australian cricket for such a vibrant site as The Googly, Nesta was flattered to say the least. To write professionally on cricket is something he never envisioned but now that he has his chance I can assure you he will be playing his shots from the very first ball. It's the Australian way.

His column, The Thunder Downunder, appears each Tuesday and Nesta has asked me to add that he welcomes any and all comments and will endeavour to reply to each and every one.

[Image: Ruby Q]

The Thunder Downunder: Sex, Lies and Videotape

The Googly’s editors in their infinite deep-pocketed wisdom have seen fit to belatedly employ an Australian resident to write a weekly column for this ever-growing website’s legion of loyal readers. I would like to think it was because of popular demand or my clever wit and charisma but if the truth was revealed, it was due to my less than respectable grovelling and willingness to be paid a pittance. The weak Australian dollar, Punter’s battle against alopecia and our world champion status probably had a part to play as well.

Each week I am planning to bring all the news, views and quirky events that surround the Australian cricket scene. Might even get around to discussing an actual match or two. In the meantime it is the off-season Downunder, colloquially known as brass-monkey time, and due to the lack of on-field action coupled with it being my debut, it would seem foolish to set the bar too high too early.

So for the first column let's scrape the bottom of the barrel and let me illuminate you - our cherished and curious readers - to some of the more salubrious details of the Craig McDermott sex-tape scandal.

Big Billy McDermott, the ginger haired former opening bowler of the 1980s and early 1990s has described the public knowledge of the theft of a homemade sex tape and subsequent extortion as the “most embarrassing days of my life”. Mrs Mac hasn’t spoken publicly about the ordeal but rumours are circulating that she is far from impressed with her hubby’s impotent - away from the camera at least - behaviour.

McDermott, described in the mainstream media as a millionaire Gold Coast property developer, had his luxury cruiser looted early last year and amongst the booty was the offending steamy video tape.

The thief, a sleazy goatee enthusiast named in court documents as Josef Vigan, managed to extort a reported $AU75,000 from Billy over several months. Unknown to Billy’s porn partner, his wife, McDermott met and paid the alleged criminal on several occasions at suburban locations to prevent the action being released on the internet. Your columnist can only assume that Billy’s performance was not as impressive as some of his 14 five wicket hauls in the baggygreen.

Months after the theft Mrs Mac discovered that the bank balance was a bit light and under what I presume was a heavy hitting verbal attack across the kitchen table, Billy finally informed the missus of his limp response to the blackmailer’s demands. As you would expect she was livid and the next day the Queensland police were informed. A sting was set-up and the offender, with tape in brown paper bag, was reported to have been crash-tackled in the Southport Hungry Jack's carpark a few days later.

The tape that the alleged extortionist was carrying, when played, showed him unwrapping Christmas presents under a flashing plastic pine tree. He appeared before a judge this week and has been bailed to return later on this year in the Brisbane Magistrates Court.

The offending tape is still to be found and I can guarantee the readers that the Googly Oz correspondent has a team of undercover detectives - a few of my less than respectable well-connected mates - searching far and wide to locate it. If found it will be posted and a link provided before you can orgiastically moan, Howzat.

THE GOOGLY’S OZ TEAM OF THE WEEK

Bill Johnston - Died at the age of 85 last Thursday. Wisden cricketer of the year in 1949, Bill was an integral member of Don Bradman’s 1948 Invincibles. A left-arm medium-pace bowler with the newer ball and a canny finger spinner with the old, he played 40 Tests in the baggygreen between 1947 and 1955, taking 160 wickets at 23.91. An intelligent, humble and good-humoured gentleman, Bill will be sadly missed by all who knew him. Rest in peace old Bill, you served your country and family with distinction and set a living example for us all to follow.

The ICC Intercontinental Cup - A fantastic tournament came to an end when Ireland played Canada in the final. Fittingly for a final, Australians were in charge of both teams.

Craig McDermott - An even redder face and 75 grand lighter for being caught with his boat unlocked and his pants down.

Luke Butterworth - Tasmania’s hero of the Pura Cup finally knocked back the offer to play the off-season in England to begin his studies at University. He is studying to be a teacher and would like to work at his alma mater, Bridgewater Public School situated on the rough and tumble side of Hobart Town.

Trent Johnstone - The Wollongong born Irish skipper bowled brilliantly with the new ball against Canada taking 4 for 12 off 10 overs on the first morning to set up the innings and 115 run shellacking.

Jeremy Bray - The former New South Welshman scored a match defining 146 from 152 balls in an aggressive 3 hour innings, scoring 54 more than the entire Canadian team in the first innings of Intercontinental Cup Final played at Grace Road.

Tom Moody - Tipped by the team at the Oz Googly months ago, the prodigal son returns to his native Western Australia to coach his beloved Warriors in their tilt to bring some silverware back to the WACA. The pundits in the rest of media, most of them English, who were certain that he would coach in England can now apologise via our email address. Wishful thinking chaps.

Shane Warne - After the recent Hampshire v Lancashire fixture, the spin king was ambushed with his three children by fans in the carpark. SKW signed every autograph, smiled in every photograph and chatted with the fans for over an hour. Googly spies reveal that halfway through Warnie’s lovefest Freddie Flintoff appeared and jogged straight onto the bus never to reappear, much to his adoring fans, most of them kiddies, disappointment.

John Wright - The former Black Caps opening bat and Indian coach is tipped to take up residence in sunny Brisbane and head the Centre of Excellence replacing the now Australian coach Tim Neilsen. Not a popular decision in the land of the long white cloud but the Aussies at the Googly would like to say, good onya John.

Ron Archer - Sadly another Australian Test player who passed away this week. The younger of Queensland's only baggygreen brothers, Ron played 19 Tests between 1953-56 until a serious knee injury wrecked his career the week before his 23rd birthday. The injury was inflicted when his boot caught in the matting that covered the concrete Karachi pitch in Australia's inaugural Test against Pakistan. It was an avoidable tragedy and he never bowled again. He is survived by wife Margaret and daughters Jacklyn and Jo-Ellen.

Joe Scuderi - The descendent of Innisfail immigrant cane cutters and original inductee to the Australian Cricket Academy arrived in Darwin this week to skipper the Italian side in their gallant quest for qualification to the 2011 World Cup.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"A better team man you couldn't get." The youngest Invincible Neil Harvey pays tribute his old mate and one of Australia’s finest men Bill Johnston after his sad passing this week. Johnston’s death leaves only five remaining squad members of Australia’s greatest team, The 1948 Invincibles. All of us in the Australian Googly sheds concur, and would like to express our sincerest condolences to his family and loved ones.

[Nesta Quin] {Image:Getty}