The Googly

Shoaib Akhtar stoops to new depths

Last week I was not entirely unsurprised to hear that the PCB, in an unprecedented show of strength had decided that Shoaib had just taken that one step too far. Banned for, well, it's unimportant how many years, because Akhtar is at the end of his lease of cricketing life, and one year would be a year too far.

Perhaps this is why Shoaib is fighting so very hard to overturn the decision of the PCB. He knows full well that he could pick up a contract, if not with the IPL then with the rebel ICL and earn shed loads of money.

But Shoaib is a proud Pakistani cricketer. His fortune and fame are entirely based upon his appearance on the field for his country.

He wants to come back for his country, but to make an allegation of match-fixing is really not the way to go. Cricket had to search its very soul after the Hansie Cronje scandal - something that we will probably never know the truth of. For Shoaib to seek redemption now by suggesting that he has something to reveal is the mark of a very desperate man.

Sadly, for a man so gifted with the ball in the park, it seems that Shoaib is seeking nothing more than to wound his coaches and fellow players who have so often sought to protect him.

Wanton allegations do nothing  but harm to the game, the game we love so much and if any of his accusations should bear fruit and truth, then, sadly, we won't remember Shoaib for his skill and charm, but for dragging the sport into yet more disrepute.

The PCB has a lot of work to do.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Why I don't like... Two Test Series

There's little that can gladden the hearts of followers of the greatest game than to read of a renaissance in West Indian Test cricket. Alas the Queen's Park Oval appeared to be populated with more dancing girls than cricket fans, but that did not stop Ramneresh Sarwan, supported by Shiv Chanderpaul and others reaching their target of 254 to level the Sri Lankan series 1-1. I looked forward avidly to the showdown next week where the spoils would be decided and (possibly) a new dawn at last hailed.

But no. In their infinite wisdom, the ICC's Future Tours programme saw fit to truncate this "series" to two Tests, and so deny us (and the Windies' worldwide followers) the chance to see a positive result. Shame on them.

And in case you think this is a one-off and see the malign hand of the IPL in play, here are some upcoming two / four Test series: Australia in West Indies (four Tests, April 2008); South Africa in England (four Tests, July 2008); Australia in India (four Tests, October 2008); New Zealand in Australia (two Tests, November 2008). I'm afraid there's plenty more such coitus interuptus to come.

[The Tooting Trumpet]   

What exactly is the point of banning the Zimbabwe cricket team from the UK?

The UK government is seeking to ban Zimbabwe from touring the country next year and I for one am mystified as to why.  Please do not think that I am trying to be flippant or belittle the vile situation in the country, but how is stopping a cricket team touring going to help in any way?

A spokesman for the Foreign Office said: “International sports should never be a way for dictators to publicise their misrule. If the situation does not improve in Zimbabwe, we would not want to see the Zimbabwe team tour here in 2009, nor the England team tour there in 2012.”

As the former colonial power the UK is in a no-win situation here. Mugabe will seize any move and sell it to his population as post-colonial bully tactics from the former masters; moreover, the ban will not change a single thing in the country itself - which surely is the whole point of any action like this. 

Also, everyone knows what Mugabe is doing in his country, I doubt that anyone watching the matches next summer are likely to think, "Well the cricketers looked happy, maybe old Robert is not as bad as they all say."

The Zimbabwe team is not in the best of states: many of the top players are retired in protest at Mugabe and what is left behind is a hotch-potch of young talent and journeymen; all this ban will do is stop some young cricketers gaining some experience.

Matthew Hayden Invitational XI

Our picture shows Matthew Hayden proudly holding his trophy as winner of the "Andrew Symonds' Best Friend Competition 2007." (Lee - can you check if I have this right?)

Hayden is known for many things (LBW b Hoggard for example) including his oft-stated religious beliefs. As Wikipedia tells us, "Hayden is a devout Roman Catholic and says "When I’m in trouble, I ask: ‘What would Christ do?'" That's Christ not Gilchrist - everyone knows that Gilly would try to hit every ball out of the ground.

So, with due acknowledgement, since other religions are available, join the Trumpet over the jump as we build the Matthew Hayden Invitational XI.

Captain - JC himself. He (that's He) would keep wicket, gathering deliveries the way he gathers souls, and bat at seven, offering redemption to sinning specialist bats with momentum turning knocks rooted in muscular Christianity. Not unlike his near-namesake Gilchrist - though Adam is more saintly.

Coach - John the Baptist. Useful adviser, though clearly deferring the Captain. Might change cap awarding ceremonies to something wetter.

Number 1 - St Matthew. Hard-hitting left-hander and sledger-in-chief from slip. Can be relied to tell the Gospel-Truth to match referees.

Number 2 - St Andrew. Current in run of bad form due to fishing (outside off stump).

Number 3 - St Thomas. Appears class, but inability to dominate leads to doubts about his place. Cherubic looks don't help his cause.

Number 8 - St Peter. Burly, bowls a heavy ball at first change, averages 23.5 in ODIs but at a strike rate of 103. Refused to tour three times before finding favour with the Captain.

Physio - Mary Magdelene. Sorts out bowlers' feet after a long day in the field.

The Press - Pontius Pilate. They'll crucify England if they lose to New Zealand.

Banned for taking 30 pieces of silver from the ICL - Judas Ischariot.

Can Googlyers add to the XI?

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Yet another pointless debate about the "Spirit of Cricket" to take place; this time in a posh English school

The interminable discussion about the entirely fictitious "Spirit of Cricket" will continue this week at an event held at Cranleigh School in Surrey.  But which heavyweights will be discussing such a monumentally pointless issue at this incredibly exclusive school that 98% of the normal population cannot get into?  Well I'll tell you.

It's Chris Cowdrey, the former England captain, Monty Panesar, Middlesex captain Ed Smith and the national selector, Geoff Miller.  Sounds knicker-grabbing doesn't it?

What annoys me about inane events such as these is just how utterly without worth they are and that they also exacerbate the faux-moral hand-wringing that goes on throughout the game regarding this nonsensical issue.  Let's be honest, a few people trying to trick umpires and saying nasty things to each other on the field does not a sporting dystopia make. 

And even if it did, I very much doubt Monty and Ed Smith would have the answers anyway.

BCCI says jump, ICC says how high (again)

We all know sledging is an issue.  Apparently something happened with it recently in Australia, but there was so little coverage of it I can't remember the details now. 

The BCCI wants these things sorted out and has asked for a zero-tolerance policy to be introduced - the ICC have accepted.  They then asked Malcolm Speed to strip down to his boxers and perform the entire closing-scene routine from Flashdance.

Whether or not this is a good or bad idea (and for my money it is unenforcable, and any attempt to enforce it will reduce games to farce), the more worrying thing is that once again the Indian board are dictating ICC policy.

Shane Bond vs New Zealand Cricket & ICC: the trade union pipes up

Comrades! The New Zealand Cricket Players Association (NZCPA) agree with The Googly about the current situation with a certain SE Bond.  But, they have gone one stage further and accused New Zealand Cricket of sucking up to the BCCI like a nerdy kid fetching a sports jock’s kitbag.  It’s hard to disagree with them when you consider the litany of accommodations Bond made in his ICL contract in order to please both his international employer and the Indian Twenty20 upstart.

Without going into dull details, Bond gained contractual agreement that none of his ICL commitments would prevent him playing for his country; a situation that NZC were quite happy with a month ago.  They have now reneged on this due to the BCCI flexing its enormous muscles and throwing its giant toys out of the behemoth-like pram it resides in.  Who knows what the Indian board threatened their NZ equivalent with; either way it seems to have worked at the expense of Bond and every cricket fan who was looking forward to a decent series in March. [Image: Getty]

India tour will go ahead - the ICC steps in

To the relief of many fans, especially those who have already bought tickets for the final two Test matches in Australia and for the One-Day series, today's actions by the ICC appear to have ensured that the Indian team will remain Downunder and complete the tour.

However the announcement this morning by ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed that umpire Steve Bucknor will be replaced for the third Test in Perth by New Zealander Billy Bowden must not only send shivers down the collective spine of the entire elite umpiring panel, but also raises the question of who now really is in charge of the game? Described by some news commentators as "crumbling under pressure", Speed also confirmed that Harbhajan Singh is cleared to play until the appeal against his three-match suspension has been heard - and that may or may not be before the start of the Perth Test on 16 January. He also confirmed that Brad Hogg has been charged under Level 3 of the ICC Code of Conduct after the complaint made by Chetan Chauhan (India's manager) about offensive remarks allegedly made to Anil Kumble and MS Dhoni during the Sydney Test.

While no-one can deny that the events in Sydney were deeply unedifying and poor umpiring exacerbated the rising tensions between India and Australia, for the ICC to take what is, I think, the unprecedented step of replacing an umpire mid-series is deeply disturbing for the future of the game. It is widely accepted amongst the international cricket community that India generates in the region of 70% of cricket's global revenue. It's hard not to wonder whether that fact swayed the decision made by the ICC.

Speed refutes this and said:

"It is accepted that Steve, and his on-field colleague Mark Benson, did not have good games by their very high standards ... It is important to stress that Steve has not been replaced due to any representations made by any team or individuals."

One can only hope that this is the case and that respected chief referee Ranjan Madugalle, who has been appointed to act as a mediator can pour oil on the troubled waters of this tour.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Honesty vs Umpires: a discussion in 2,054 parts

The current situation Downunder, no not that one, this one, has brought out the argument that has been oft-discussed on the TV, on the radio, in the pub and on this blog in past: is it right to expect players to assist umpires by being honest about their catches, edges etc etc?

I say no.  This is the highest level of elite international sport and accordingly you let the umpires do their job, accepting that players will take the piss occasionally.  Every sport has an aspect of cheating, I played rugby union for 12 years and in that game cheating is elevated to an art form by its greatest practitioners.  The problem in cricket is that there is this strange and oppressive folk-memory that believes players used to walk; just like all summers used to be hot and there were no paedophiles before 1993.  This is patent nonsense.

That said, the ICC must do more to assist the men in the middle.  The third umpire must be used more extensively in a proactive role, if anything to give him more to do as he must be bored rigid for most of the day.  For example, the Michael Clarke "catch" could have been sorted very quickly had the third ump simply radioed "not out" to Benson or Bucknor; while cogitating an LBW appeal, the third ump could confirm there is no edge involved.  There are myriad ways the man upstairs can be used, some useful, some not, but it is time for the conversation to be had seriously and an acceptance that the role will be expanded significantly.

Regarding the reaction to the Second Test: frankly, if India had beaten Australia with a few cheats and poor decisions no-one would be as outraged as they are at the moment (I don't remember anyone saying Hoggard should have told Damien Martyn to stay where he was after the monstrous inside edge LBW at Trent Bridge, do you?) .  The cricket watching public are seriously irritated because Australia are not only the best in the world, they have the temerity to break the rules as well.  Bastards.
[Image: Getty]

Symonds vs Harbajhan: the outcome

“I hate every ape I see from chimpan-a to chimpan-zee, you’ll never make a monkey out of me.” So sang the lead character in Planet of the Apes: The Musical, as featured in The Simpsons. It seems that Mike Proctor, match referee in Sydney, along with Andrew Symonds, share similar sentiments as Proc has found Harbajhan guilty of racisim in what will surely be monikered ‘primategate’ by the press, or something else equally silly.

India have accepted the decision in very professional manner by jumping up and down, screaming until they are sick and throwing bats around before threatening to take their balls, bats and tour home with them.

We at The Googly are not privy to the hearing transcripts, but we must assume that the evidence of the spinners guilt must have been objectively verified for the referee to rule this way. Proctor is a brave man, he would have been very aware of the shit-storm a guilty verdict was going to cause for him, the ICC and the sport, but he made it anyway. He obviously felt the evidence was strong enough that Symo and his team mates were telling the truth and no-one has reason to doubt his integrity.

The BCCI have a duty to object to the decision, of course; no ruling body will accept that one of their own is a racist.

This method of dealing with citings so quickly obviously has its weaknesses, and it is a tremendous amount of pressure to place on one person to rule upon it. But, the events also illustrate that cricket is at least attempting to deal with the problem of racism unequivocally and with haste. That disgusting cancer on decency, in any walk of life, deserves such serious treatment.

What exactly is the point of banning the Zimbabwe cricket team from the UK?

The UK government is seeking to ban Zimbabwe from touring the country next year and I for one am mystified as to why.  Please do not think that I am trying to be flippant or belittle the vile situation in the country, but how is stopping a cricket team touring going to help in any way?

A spokesman for the Foreign Office said: “International sports should never be a way for dictators to publicise their misrule. If the situation does not improve in Zimbabwe, we would not want to see the Zimbabwe team tour here in 2009, nor the England team tour there in 2012.”

As the former colonial power the UK is in a no-win situation here. Mugabe will seize any move and sell it to his population as post-colonial bully tactics from the former masters; moreover, the ban will not change a single thing in the country itself - which surely is the whole point of any action like this. 

Also, everyone knows what Mugabe is doing in his country, I doubt that anyone watching the matches next summer are likely to think, "Well the cricketers looked happy, maybe old Robert is not as bad as they all say."

The Zimbabwe team is not in the best of states: many of the top players are retired in protest at Mugabe and what is left behind is a hotch-potch of young talent and journeymen; all this ban will do is stop some young cricketers gaining some experience.

Matthew Hayden Invitational XI

Our picture shows Matthew Hayden proudly holding his trophy as winner of the "Andrew Symonds' Best Friend Competition 2007." (Lee - can you check if I have this right?)

Hayden is known for many things (LBW b Hoggard for example) including his oft-stated religious beliefs. As Wikipedia tells us, "Hayden is a devout Roman Catholic and says "When I’m in trouble, I ask: ‘What would Christ do?'" That's Christ not Gilchrist - everyone knows that Gilly would try to hit every ball out of the ground.

So, with due acknowledgement, since other religions are available, join the Trumpet over the jump as we build the Matthew Hayden Invitational XI.

Captain - JC himself. He (that's He) would keep wicket, gathering deliveries the way he gathers souls, and bat at seven, offering redemption to sinning specialist bats with momentum turning knocks rooted in muscular Christianity. Not unlike his near-namesake Gilchrist - though Adam is more saintly.

Coach - John the Baptist. Useful adviser, though clearly deferring the Captain. Might change cap awarding ceremonies to something wetter.

Number 1 - St Matthew. Hard-hitting left-hander and sledger-in-chief from slip. Can be relied to tell the Gospel-Truth to match referees.

Number 2 - St Andrew. Current in run of bad form due to fishing (outside off stump).

Number 3 - St Thomas. Appears class, but inability to dominate leads to doubts about his place. Cherubic looks don't help his cause.

Number 8 - St Peter. Burly, bowls a heavy ball at first change, averages 23.5 in ODIs but at a strike rate of 103. Refused to tour three times before finding favour with the Captain.

Physio - Mary Magdelene. Sorts out bowlers' feet after a long day in the field.

The Press - Pontius Pilate. They'll crucify England if they lose to New Zealand.

Banned for taking 30 pieces of silver from the ICL - Judas Ischariot.

Can Googlyers add to the XI?

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Yet another pointless debate about the "Spirit of Cricket" to take place; this time in a posh English school

The interminable discussion about the entirely fictitious "Spirit of Cricket" will continue this week at an event held at Cranleigh School in Surrey.  But which heavyweights will be discussing such a monumentally pointless issue at this incredibly exclusive school that 98% of the normal population cannot get into?  Well I'll tell you.

It's Chris Cowdrey, the former England captain, Monty Panesar, Middlesex captain Ed Smith and the national selector, Geoff Miller.  Sounds knicker-grabbing doesn't it?

What annoys me about inane events such as these is just how utterly without worth they are and that they also exacerbate the faux-moral hand-wringing that goes on throughout the game regarding this nonsensical issue.  Let's be honest, a few people trying to trick umpires and saying nasty things to each other on the field does not a sporting dystopia make. 

And even if it did, I very much doubt Monty and Ed Smith would have the answers anyway.

BCCI says jump, ICC says how high (again)

We all know sledging is an issue.  Apparently something happened with it recently in Australia, but there was so little coverage of it I can't remember the details now. 

The BCCI wants these things sorted out and has asked for a zero-tolerance policy to be introduced - the ICC have accepted.  They then asked Malcolm Speed to strip down to his boxers and perform the entire closing-scene routine from Flashdance.

Whether or not this is a good or bad idea (and for my money it is unenforcable, and any attempt to enforce it will reduce games to farce), the more worrying thing is that once again the Indian board are dictating ICC policy.

Shane Bond vs New Zealand Cricket & ICC: the trade union pipes up

Comrades! The New Zealand Cricket Players Association (NZCPA) agree with The Googly about the current situation with a certain SE Bond.  But, they have gone one stage further and accused New Zealand Cricket of sucking up to the BCCI like a nerdy kid fetching a sports jock’s kitbag.  It’s hard to disagree with them when you consider the litany of accommodations Bond made in his ICL contract in order to please both his international employer and the Indian Twenty20 upstart.

Without going into dull details, Bond gained contractual agreement that none of his ICL commitments would prevent him playing for his country; a situation that NZC were quite happy with a month ago.  They have now reneged on this due to the BCCI flexing its enormous muscles and throwing its giant toys out of the behemoth-like pram it resides in.  Who knows what the Indian board threatened their NZ equivalent with; either way it seems to have worked at the expense of Bond and every cricket fan who was looking forward to a decent series in March. [Image: Getty]

India tour will go ahead - the ICC steps in

To the relief of many fans, especially those who have already bought tickets for the final two Test matches in Australia and for the One-Day series, today's actions by the ICC appear to have ensured that the Indian team will remain Downunder and complete the tour.

However the announcement this morning by ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed that umpire Steve Bucknor will be replaced for the third Test in Perth by New Zealander Billy Bowden must not only send shivers down the collective spine of the entire elite umpiring panel, but also raises the question of who now really is in charge of the game? Described by some news commentators as "crumbling under pressure", Speed also confirmed that Harbhajan Singh is cleared to play until the appeal against his three-match suspension has been heard - and that may or may not be before the start of the Perth Test on 16 January. He also confirmed that Brad Hogg has been charged under Level 3 of the ICC Code of Conduct after the complaint made by Chetan Chauhan (India's manager) about offensive remarks allegedly made to Anil Kumble and MS Dhoni during the Sydney Test.

While no-one can deny that the events in Sydney were deeply unedifying and poor umpiring exacerbated the rising tensions between India and Australia, for the ICC to take what is, I think, the unprecedented step of replacing an umpire mid-series is deeply disturbing for the future of the game. It is widely accepted amongst the international cricket community that India generates in the region of 70% of cricket's global revenue. It's hard not to wonder whether that fact swayed the decision made by the ICC.

Speed refutes this and said:

"It is accepted that Steve, and his on-field colleague Mark Benson, did not have good games by their very high standards ... It is important to stress that Steve has not been replaced due to any representations made by any team or individuals."

One can only hope that this is the case and that respected chief referee Ranjan Madugalle, who has been appointed to act as a mediator can pour oil on the troubled waters of this tour.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Honesty vs Umpires: a discussion in 2,054 parts

The current situation Downunder, no not that one, this one, has brought out the argument that has been oft-discussed on the TV, on the radio, in the pub and on this blog in past: is it right to expect players to assist umpires by being honest about their catches, edges etc etc?

I say no.  This is the highest level of elite international sport and accordingly you let the umpires do their job, accepting that players will take the piss occasionally.  Every sport has an aspect of cheating, I played rugby union for 12 years and in that game cheating is elevated to an art form by its greatest practitioners.  The problem in cricket is that there is this strange and oppressive folk-memory that believes players used to walk; just like all summers used to be hot and there were no paedophiles before 1993.  This is patent nonsense.

That said, the ICC must do more to assist the men in the middle.  The third umpire must be used more extensively in a proactive role, if anything to give him more to do as he must be bored rigid for most of the day.  For example, the Michael Clarke "catch" could have been sorted very quickly had the third ump simply radioed "not out" to Benson or Bucknor; while cogitating an LBW appeal, the third ump could confirm there is no edge involved.  There are myriad ways the man upstairs can be used, some useful, some not, but it is time for the conversation to be had seriously and an acceptance that the role will be expanded significantly.

Regarding the reaction to the Second Test: frankly, if India had beaten Australia with a few cheats and poor decisions no-one would be as outraged as they are at the moment (I don't remember anyone saying Hoggard should have told Damien Martyn to stay where he was after the monstrous inside edge LBW at Trent Bridge, do you?) .  The cricket watching public are seriously irritated because Australia are not only the best in the world, they have the temerity to break the rules as well.  Bastards.
[Image: Getty]

Symonds vs Harbajhan: the outcome

“I hate every ape I see from chimpan-a to chimpan-zee, you’ll never make a monkey out of me.” So sang the lead character in Planet of the Apes: The Musical, as featured in The Simpsons. It seems that Mike Proctor, match referee in Sydney, along with Andrew Symonds, share similar sentiments as Proc has found Harbajhan guilty of racisim in what will surely be monikered ‘primategate’ by the press, or something else equally silly.

India have accepted the decision in very professional manner by jumping up and down, screaming until they are sick and throwing bats around before threatening to take their balls, bats and tour home with them.

We at The Googly are not privy to the hearing transcripts, but we must assume that the evidence of the spinners guilt must have been objectively verified for the referee to rule this way. Proctor is a brave man, he would have been very aware of the shit-storm a guilty verdict was going to cause for him, the ICC and the sport, but he made it anyway. He obviously felt the evidence was strong enough that Symo and his team mates were telling the truth and no-one has reason to doubt his integrity.

The BCCI have a duty to object to the decision, of course; no ruling body will accept that one of their own is a racist.

This method of dealing with citings so quickly obviously has its weaknesses, and it is a tremendous amount of pressure to place on one person to rule upon it. But, the events also illustrate that cricket is at least attempting to deal with the problem of racism unequivocally and with haste. That disgusting cancer on decency, in any walk of life, deserves such serious treatment.

My Cricket Year: mimitig

Player of the Year: Mahela Jayawardene (pictured right with definitely not PotY Michael Vaughan), not only captained Sri Lanka brilliantly in the recent Test series but was also nominated for the ICC awards as Captain of the Year. He lost out to Ricky Ponting, but he's my favourite (as Brucie would say).

Champagne Moment: cheating a bit but I have two. The first being Paul Collingwood raising the Commonwealth Bank Series Trophy after an absolutely horrendous tour downunder for the England team, and the second being Somerset's promotion to Division One. They (both teams) earned it.

Worst Moment: in the larger picture, it can't be anything other than Bob Woolmer's death. Domestically, the realisation that Fred Flintoff's best days are over was pretty tough.

One to watch in 2008: Glamorgan's James Harris proved that not only can teenage dreams come true, but that there is life in Glamorgan post Simon Jones. Harris hit the headlines when he took 13 wickets against Gloucestershire at Bristol - in just his second game for the first XI. He's been in Chennai with the Academy and is due to fly out to Sri Lanka with England Under 19s next month. Not bad for a boy who hasn't done his A-Levels yet.

If I could change one thing about the game in 2008: no more Malcolm Speed at the ICC, and not replaced by another lawyer.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

If it's not broke...

Sharper eyed readers will have noted that our picture shows a cricket trophy being celebrated and no Australians to be seen. Whether this observation has anything to do with suggestions emerging from the Australian Cricketers Association (as reported by Cricinfo) to "improve" T20, can only be conjecture - maybe they had been at the tinnies.

But don't take my word for it - join me over the jump to read them and weep.

"Four stumps instead of three." Ludicrous - you don't even do that in the playground.

"Free hit for batsman's first ball." One off the mark, Sir?

"Five overs limit for bowlers who take a wicket." Possibly, but cricket is complex enough.

"Supersub." Job creation scheme that doesn't work.

"Hand-held TVs for umpires." A solution to a problem that doesn't exist.

"Shorts to be worn." Why?

"Nicknames on shirts." No - T20 is inclusive.

But at least the players do support on-field microphones and interviews for batsmen straight after dismissal. Anything that breaks down barriers between players and fans in T20 has to be right.

What do Googlyers think?

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Israeli cricketer off to India

Israel is famous for many things - recently it seems to be for causing power cuts in Palestinian hospitals due to its energy policy - but cricket is not one that springs to mind.

However, that could soon be a thing of the past, as the first Israeli cricketer in history has been selected for the ICC European Cricket Academy in February 2008.  Twenty-year-old spinner Solomon Varsulkar is the first Israeli to be selected to take part in an ICC academy. He has been selected for the event after producing phenomenal bowling performances for his country, including overall figures of 15-120 and 11-60 at the 2005 and 2007 ICC European U/19 Championships.

Solomon has been selected as one of 14 of Europe’s finest young talents who will travel to India in February to take part in the yearly academy which is this year coached by Adrian Birrell and Stuart Barnes.  The youngsters will  play three games against state opposition.

The European Academy Squad 2008:
Kieron Ferrary Gibraltar
Blane Queripel Guernsey
Kris Moherndl Guernsey
Gary Kidd Ireland
Fintan McAllister Ireland
Andrew Poynter Ireland
Gary Wilson Ireland
Solomon Varsulkar Israel
Bob Entrop Netherlands
Timothy Gruijters Netherlands
Maurits Jonkman Netherlands
Richard Berrington Scotland
Andrew Hislop Scotland
Scott Redhead Scotland

The plan to get cricket get into the Olympics

China showing an interest in playing the greatest game has caused some people to make the illogical leap that this signals a real chance of Twenty20 becoming an Olympic sport.  However, history has taught us that there is only one sport that has managed to get itself onto the Greek games top table: beach volleyball.  So with this in mind, here are the ways that cricket can get itself into the 2012 tournament.  Add your own in the comments.

1.  All Twenty20 games to be played in minute lycra costumes.  Surely there is a vast global audience begging to see Scott Styris's arse and midriff?

2.  All cricket to move to the beach, or at the very least a cricket pitch to be built some random yet glamourous place; like Eel Pie Island in Twickenham, or in a pod on the London Eye.

3.  All teams to have at least four women, who must at all times field in the on-delivery slips posture.

4.  The USA to field a team of all-stars to boost the audience.  Their cricketing ability will take a firm second place behind their pulling power; I suggest the following line up: WJ Clinton, T Cruise, PW Hilton, LD Lohan, TJ Hanks, DH Washington,  KD Rogers, JM Alba, BJ Spears, VA Vaughn, BE Stiller.

5.  Twenty20 to be renamed SexyBall

Performance of the Day - Cricket South Africa

Cricket is played in many of the more troubled parts of the world - England's forthcoming tour to the beautiful island of Sri Lanka is just one example.

Yesterday's horrific bombings in Karachi with their horrendous death toll has shaken all Pakistan. It would have been very easy for the touring South Africans to get on the first plane out of the country and fight any breach of contract cases from a sunbed in Cape Town.

They didn't. They stayed. They are willing to show that cricket's family can stand together and play this wonderful game anywhere there is a desire to do so. Who knows what will happen in the ferment of the next few days, but the Trumpet knows that today's decision by Cricket South Africa and its players and officials took real guts and that to do otherwise would have damaged world cricket. The Trumpet sends his condolences to the families of the dead and injured, and his heartfelt thanks to Cricket South Africa.

[The Tooting Trumpet]

What is Darrell Hair up to?

So the big man has dropped his case against the ICC, but why?

Meanwhile, back at the Hair tribunal

No, not that kind of hair; this kind of Hair.  Namely Darrell Hair.

Things don't seem to be going well for Darrell as he attempts to have his employers done on the the grounds of "is it because I is white?".  Firstly, his fellow ball-tampering spotting umpire, Billy Doctrove, has refused to turn up and nobody is quite sure why.  I guess it's because he knows which side his bread is buttered on and, as he remains a member of the elite umpire panel, he does not fancy rocking the boat.

Secondly, every man and his dog is queueing up to tell the tribunal that there were disagreements about whether he should be demoted or not, but none of the discussions had anything to do with skin colour.  The latest being Baron Greenback Morgan today.  The case grinds on and on for the rest of this week.  [Image: Getty]

Gordon Brown leads the way as politics and cricket clash once more

The two games that are politics and cricket have never been easy bedfellows.  Politics has a tendency to fart under the duvet while cricket is too polite or scared to take any action, usually plodding on benignly while the foul stench corrupts the air.  This is never more true than in Zimbabwe, as has been reported often in all cricket media. But could this be changing due to the action by the British Foreign Office to refuse an entry visa to  Peter Chingoka, chairman of Zimbabwe Cricket? 

Chingoka is known to be a pal of Mugabe and a supporter of the ruling Zanu PF party in the country, and new Prime Minister Brown is obviously taking a harder line on Zimbabwe by refusing entry on these grounds. But where does this leave the game of cricket?

In the immediate future it would appear that the ICC will no longer be able to hold meetings in London, as it cannot meet while one of its most senior members stuck at immigration in the airport.  Long-term it may force a situation where all countries agree to refuse visas for Mr Chingoka, thus forcing the hand of Zimbabwe Cricket to appoint a more apolitical chairman. 

But frankly that is a bit of a leap, Mr Chingoka will no doubt accuse the UK of trying to act like colonial masters again - remember this is a British Government action, not an ECB one - and the rest of the cricketing world, ECB included, will choose to ignore what is in front of them. [Image: Getty]

Video: The 11 ways to get out in cricket

Of course, we all know there are actually only 10 ways to get out in cricket, but they've stuck retired hurt in as well to make it 11.  Nevertheless, it's an amusing watch.

Performance of the Day - Ivo Tennant

Employment rights are important and so are the big issues of racism. power, authority and integrity. But is that really what the Darrell Hair Employment Tribunal is all about? Will truth be hammered out on the anvil of contradiction?

Ivo Tennant nails it at cricinfo. The case is about three gigantic egos: Robert Griffiths QC; Michael Belloff QC and Darrell Hair (right, centre of attention, again). With all that needs doing in the world of cricket, indeed the world in general, shouldn't that money and those brains be doing something more constructive?

[The Tooting Trumpet]  [Image: Getty]

Shit flies everywhere at the Darrell Hair tribunal

It's only one day in and already the shit is splattering all over the London courtroom that is the scene of Dazza Hair's two-week strop against his former employers.

Robert Griffiths QC, reprenting Hair, pulled no punches in his opening.  "Darrell Hair's case is that he was treated the way he was because the ICC bowed to the racially discriminatory pressure that was brought to bear on it by the Asian bloc and ICC board member supporters," Griffiths said. "The Asian bloc is dominant in cricket sometimes it uses that dominance inappropriately. Everyone knows it, but most are afraid to say so."

The defence were not having that however, as Michael Beloff QC was to outline thus:

"[Hair] was not a victim of race discrimination," he said. "He was the author of his own misfortune. In cricketing terms, Mr Hair ran himself out.  He then went on to list a litany of assertions regadign Darrell's handling of the game and the following furore: he led Doctrove to the decision to forfeit; he bailed out of the meeting that was attempting to broker a restart to the match; his discrimiantion case has been "changeable, evasive and, to a degree, reckless".

Hair took the stand after lunch and went on the 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I might as well go and eat worms' tack, accusing the ICC of a "Watergate-style cover-up" of the plan to get rid of him. 

You've gotta love Darrell haven't you?  It takes a special kind of conceit to compare the sacking of a cricket umpire with one of the most significant and damaging political episodes in history.  [Image: Getty]

Darrell Hair has been living in hell

Publicity-shy umpire Darrell Hair has not missed the opportunity at the opening of his employment tribunal against the ICC to have a bit of a rant.  The Australian mard-arse has stated that his life has been "pretty much hell" since he brought about the first ever forfeited Test match. 

Now, I'm not a particularly religious man, but I have a vague memory of pride being one of the cardinal vices that could lead to eternal damnation.  Therefore has Hair not got exactly what he deserved after deciding that a Test match, and the game itself, was to be superceded by his own ego?  [Image: Getty]

Performance of the Day - Mohammad Yousuf

The Trumpet has an agnostic view about the ICL (Indian Cricket League) with its plans for non-ICC sanctioned matches: after all, it's hardly the case that cricket's ruling authorities are immaculate in their administration of the game. The Trumpet is old enough to remember the doom-mongers foretelling of the end of cricket when Kerry Packer's World Series Cricket lumbered into sight - but, from the vantage point of 2007, WSC appears one of the best things to have happened to the game.

But if there are to be reprisals against the ICL, The Trumpet doesn't mind a few ageing or fringe players being lost to Test Matches whilst compromises are hammered out, but he does quail at the prospect of the world's best players suspended from the highest form of the game. So the PotD goes to Mohammad Yousuf, who appears to have severed ties with the ICL sufficiently for him to represent Pakistan. Lest we forget, Yousuf is one of the world's greatest batsmen breaking King Viv's long-standing Test runs in a calendar year record with 1788 in 2006 and Test cricket cannot lose talents like that.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image:Getty]   

ICC World Twenty20 - Hero of the Final: Everyone

Let me start by saying that seldom have I enjoyed a cricket match that I have not been physically present at as much as today's ICC Twenty20 Final. Then I must say that not choosing one individual as today's Hero is not a cop-out: it's a genuine reflection on both the match and the tournament. There were just so many contenders that it has proved impossible to pick a singe individual.

I toyed with going for the ICC - and there's a first - but they, and especially Steve Ellworthy the organiser in South Africa - have put on a top-notch show. Everyone has praised this competition: sensible ticket-pricing and allocations ensured full crowds at most matches, and the spectators were allowed to be vocal, wave flags and basically have fun. They provided great atmosphere, so maybe the fans at the grounds should be the heroes? Then there's the players. Almost without exception they entered into the spirit of the event and played with gusto and enjoyment.

Three more sets of multiples deserve mention: the commentators and guests on ball-by-ball coverage on the radio (I found myself actually enjoying Geoff Boycott who laughed with real humour a lot, rather than laughing sardonically), the writers of Over-by-over coverage on the internet - in various places - who brought wit and insight, and OBO contributors from all over the world who dedicated hours of their time to follow and send emails in to all the broadcast matches. All this added enormously to the enjoyment of following the tournament.

However, today a few players must be mentioned as Heroes. Umar Gul - the bowler of the competition and the main reason why Pakistan made the final. He ended as the leading wicket taker with 13 (ahead of Stuart Clark and Shahid Afridi both with 12).

Imran Nazir absolutely blazed the second over, attacking Sree Santh and setting up the match for nail-biting. That over went for 21!

Gautam Gambhir made 75 off 54 balls in the Indian innings - did that win the match?

R P Singh gave an outstandingly controlled show of bowling, got Gul out at the death - did he win the match?

Tanvir Sohail and Misbah put Pakistan back in the match and while 15 minutes before the end, it looked like India's game as given, we got down to the final over with India needing one wicket and Pakistan 13 to win. A Harmisonesque wide from Joginder Singh was not a good start, but then a dot ball. 12 off six balls. Misbah hit the next - a low full toss - way out of the ground. Six off four. Indian captain, the peerless Mahendra Singh Dhoni put his arm around Joginder's shoulder, whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and with the next ball, Misbah was caught by Sree Santh and it was all over.

India won by five balls and celebrations started everywhere. A cliff-hanger of a match. Cricket is the winner and the last word has to go to an Australian:

"Mate, it's been so much fun to be involved with."

Michael Slater on Test Match Special sums up these past two weeks for most of us.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

ECB rejig one-day cricket competitions

Never mind all this imagination capturing, dreamland evoking stuff that we are seeing in South Africa, let's get back to what makes cricket great: administrators reorganising competitions for unfathomable reasons.

The ECB are to fragment the Friends Provident Trophy even further next year.  The initial stages will be changed to four groups of five teams comprising the 18 first-class counties as well as Ireland and Scotland.   Each team will play the other four teams in the group twice throughout the competition – home and away and the top two teams from each group will then qualify for the quarter-finals, with the winners of each group earning a home draw. 

Still awake?  Twenty20 re-shuffle news is after the jump.

It says here: "In the Twenty20 Cup, the group stages will change to a symmetrical format of five home and five away games. The groups will remain regional-based with three groups of six first-class counties."

Got that?  Good.

Loads of gongs for Ricky Ponting

Ricky Ponting has managed to scoop himself a couple of prizes at the ICC Awards ceremony today.  Punter was named ICC Cricketer of the Year, beating Kevin Pietersen in the process, and Captain of the Year.  Mohammad Yousuf was named Test Player of the Year.

Anything for England? I hear you ask.  Well, KP was named in the ODI and Test teams of the year and, bizarrely, Michael  Vaughan was named in Test team of the year.  Odd.

Full awards after the jump.

Cricketer of the Year: Ricky Ponting (Aus)
Other nominees:
Shivnarine Chanderpaul (WI)
Kevin Pietersen (Eng)
Mohammad Yousuf (Pak)

Test Player of the Year: Mohammad Yousuf (Pak)
Other nominees:
Muttiah Muralitharan (Sri)
Kevin Pietersen (Eng)
Ricky Ponting (Aus)

Emerging Player of the Year: Shaun Tait (Aus)
Other nominees:
Ravi Bopara (Eng)
Shakib Al Hasan (Ban)
Ross Taylor (NZ)

Captain of the Year: Ricky Ponting (Aus)
Other nominee:
Mahela Jayawardene (Sri)

One-day Player of the Year: Matthew Hayden (Aus)
Other nominees:
Ricky Ponting (Aus)
Jacques Kallis (SA)
Glenn McGrath (Aus)

One-day Player of the year for non-Test nations:
Thomas Odoyo (Ken)
Other nominees:
Ashish Bagai (Can)
Ryan ten Doeschate (Ned)
Steve Tikolo (Ken)

Women's Cricketer of the Year: Jhulan Goswami (Ind)
Other nominees:
Lisa Sthalekar (Aus)
Claire Taylor (Eng)

Umpire of the Year: Simon Taufel (Aus)
Other nominees:
Mark Benson (Eng)
Steve Bucknor (WI)
Daryl Harper (Aus)

Spirit of Cricket Award: Sri Lanka
Other nominees:
Australia
Ireland
New Zealand

World Test Team of the Year:
Matthew Hayden (Aus), Michael Vaughan (Eng), Ricky Ponting (Aus, capt), Mohammad Yousuf (Pak), Kevin Pietersen (Eng), Michael Hussey (Aus), Kumar Sangakkara (SL, wkt), Stuart Clark (Aus), Makhaya Ntini (SA), Mohammad Asif (Pak), Muttiah Muralitharan (SL), 12th man: Zaheer Khan (Ind)

World ODI Team of the Year:
Matthew Hayden (Aus), Sachin Tendulkar (Ind), Ricky Ponting (Aus, capt), Kevin Pietersen (Eng), Shivnarine Chanderpaul (WI), Jacques Kallis (SA), Mark Boucher (SA, wkt), Chaminda Vaas (SL), Shane Bond (NZ), Muttiah Muralitharan (SL), Glenn McGrath (Aus), 12th man: Michael Hussey (Aus)

ECB chair elections...try to stay awake

Never mind all this thrilling last over win malarkey, lets get back to Lord's where the really exciting part of cricket is happening: the bureaucracy of electing chairmen!

The ECB are about to start another round of elections and they have confirmed that Giles Clarke and Michael Soper are once again the only horses in this eye-wateringly boring race. 

The ballot is on the 24th September, if anyone is bothered. 

Why I don't like.... on-field umpires adjudicating run-outs

After a sparkling response to The Trumpet's proposal to call the ball dead after the stumps are broken, I feel journalistically secure, if not psychologically secure, in venturing forth another proposal for a change in the laws.

The confusion surrounding run-outs was highlighted by Paul Collingwood's dismissal (right) in the Sixth England vs India ODI at The Oval today.

Having initially not called for the referral, the umpires appeared to influenced by the replay on the big screen and so belatedly called for the assistance of the TV umpire, who eventually gave Colly out. With big screens commonplace at international matches and hospitality suites all having flat screens to go with the flat beer, any non-referral that looks mistaken will get a huge crowd reaction - this genie is out of the bottle.

The Trumpet's proposal? When available, let TV umpires decide all run outs, referring back to the on-field umpires only if the pictures are inconclusive. This change would also avoid the farcical situation we see now of the on-field umpire running into the prescribed place to make their decision thereby blocking the cameras, but then referring to the TV umpire! What do Googlyers think? 

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Why I don't like.... overthrows after hitting the stumps

What's better than a tight game of cricket? Okay, quite a few things, some even printable, but the Bopara and Broad game (the 4th England vs India ODI) showed that even a moribund format like 50 over cricket can rouse the most sated observers to something close to ecstasy.

In tight games of cricket, every run counts in determining the thinnest of margins of superiority, so it's crucial to get the boundary calls right - hence the television replays.

The Trumpet has written before of his disdain for leg-byes as legitimate runs and now makes the case against overthrows after hitting the stumps. What is the objective of a fielder with ball in hand? To hit the stumps. But if the batsman is in by any margin (including that of the benefit of the doubt), that achieved objective becomes a liability for the fielding team. No fielder can back up as the ricochet is unpredictable, so no plans can be made. The better the fielder, the more chance of giving away runs.

Invariably after such runs are added, the batters are giggling, while the fielding captain sucks his teeth and commentators rail at the injustice. Why not call dead ball once the stumps are broken and let the batters have the runs they've earned, but no more, and not penalise the fielder who does his job in hitting the stumps?

[The Tooting Trumpet]  [Image: Getty]

ICC says it will not recognise the ICL. And so it goes on

It's not a great surprise, but the ICC say that they won't recognise the ICL unless the BCCI do.  Keeping up with those initialisms so far?  Good.

"BCCI is the only body recognised by the ICC to run official cricket in India," said our old friend Malcolm Speed. "We have not got any application from the ICL for recognition yet, but we already have a five-step process to decide on such issues."

Those five steps are as follows: if the series is being run for the development of the game, which players are involved and if they are contracted to their parent bodies, when and where the series will be played and if anti-corruption measures are in place.

"In the last stage we ask applicants if the member board of the country had approved it," he added. "If the answer is no, we would not give it our recognition."

The ICL aren't fussed; they're considering legal action against the BCCI's monopoly on cricket in the country. [Carrie Dunn] [Image: Getty]

The Thunder Downunder: Kuala Lumpur to Kathmandu

All loyal readers of The Thunder should be well aware that your globetrotting correspondent is on a pre-season tour of the cricket hotspots of South East Asia. The past week has been spent playing and watching cricket in and around the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur and a fine hot and sticky satay time has been had by all.

During this sublime and sunny week, the Malaysian Cricket Association have been hosting a ten nation ODI tournament that serves as the Asian qualifier for the 2008 U/19 World Cup, also to be held at the same location next March. The ten teams competing include the host Malaysia, three times winner Nepal, Afghanistan, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Hong Kong, Singapore, Kuwait and Oman.

The winner of this tournament automatically qualifies for the U/19 World Cup finals as do hosts Malaysia. The runner-up will play off against Scotland, the European division’s runner-up, at a yet to be decided venue in a last ditch chance for glory next month.

It has been a fantastic tournament and, I am reliably informed, a wonderful experience for all the young players and families involved. There is only the final to be played on Wednesday with overwhelming favourite Nepal up against the hard and motivated lads from war-torn Afghanistan.

The Thunder was a spectator at yesterday’s semi-final between Malaysia and Nepal at the lushly modern Bayuemas Oval and the match was won in aggressive style by the Nepalese. Fast bowling allrounder and Nepalese captain Paras Khadka (pictured) routed the Malaysian top order with a fiery opening spell and finished with the figures of 5/21 from his allotted ten. I spoke with this impressive young man after the match and through his broken English I understood these words, “Australia, kangaroo, Ghurka, mother, father, win, good, thank you, fast, proud, happy and goodbye”. Make of that what you will but the huge smile of satisfaction on Paras’ face breached all language barriers.

While near meaningless ODIs are being played in England and Zimbabwe this past week, it was heartening to be one of the few hundred to witness a crucial match with real consequences for the players and their representative nations. The cricket played was skilled, competitive and spirited and once again I was reminded that cricket is a grand global game played respectfully, and enjoyed peacefully, by people of all ages, cultures and beliefs.

The Nepalese who defeated South Africa and New Zealand at the 2006 U/19 World Cup are an emerging force in world cricket and within a few decades should be joining Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh as full members of the powerful Asian bloc. All of us at the Thunder wish them the best of luck as they climb the steep ladder to full recognition.

Back at The Shed spring has well and truly arrived. The wattle is in full bloom as is Peg’s predictable hayfever. Cookie our resident kookaburra has returned from her winter migration and Davo has finally cleaned the spark plugs on the lawnmower. Apart from Peg's sniffling and complaining all seems well in my absence and in between setting up the backyard telescope and stocking the esky for tonight's full lunar eclipse, Davo begrudgingly relayed news from back home.

Shaun Tait's elbow injury and Ben Hilfenhaus’ consequent selection in the T20 WC squad has had ramifications for other teams representing the sandy federated continent. Australia ‘A’ formerly known as the Second XI, are departing for a full tour of Pakistan on September 1 and Hilfenhaus’ ascendency has given Victorian veteran Shane Harwood another chance to prove himself internationally. Additionally, fellow Victorian allrounder James McDonald has succumbed to injury and his place has been taken by rising star, Tasmania’s Pura Cup final centurian and Man of the Match, Luke Butterworth.

Butterworth, who has only five first-class matches under his belt, was initially selected for full state honours halfway through last season after a recommendation to selectors from state and national captain, Ricky Ponting. Given his chance, 23 year old Butterworth proved Punter an astute judge. Young Luke turned four of the five games he played to Tasmania’s advantage, not only with bat and ball but also with some brilliant outfielding, and his performances were crucial to his team’s historic season. The Australian selectors are more impressed by heroic deeds in the heat of battle than the steady accumulation of pure stats and The Shed has it on good authority that Butterworth is in the frame to one day replace Andrew Symonds as another versatile matchwinner in the national side.

In other good news from Downunder, Cricket NSW this week announced that the next Women’s World Cup will be played at various venues throughout metropolitan and rural NSW. Australia are defending champions and are hoping to once again hold up the trophy at the SCG in 18 months time. More than half the Australian team has retired since the last victorious campaign and with six teenagers in the 13 woman squad much work needs to be done before the start of this most important tournament. Women’s cricket is receiving more and more coverage in Australia and the cricketing family is hopeful that the ninth World Cup will raise the profile of the women’s game even further.

Lastly, as predicted by the Thunder months ago, Ricky Ponting has publicly championed Shane Watson to be Justin Langer’s replacement for the next Test versus Sri Lanka in November. Other opening contenders Phil Jaques and Chris Rogers have had abysmal County seasons averaging in the low 30s and will need some big scores on the board in the first two Pura Cup matches this coming season if they are to change the skipper’s mind. Ironically and paradoxically, thousands of County runs mean little to the Australian selectors  - they do not rate the competition - but consistent failures are duly noted for future reference.

The team and I are headed to Kathmandu this afternoon in what we imagine to be a white-knuckled flight on a rusting ex-Russian wing-prop into the teeth of the Himalayas. We are expecting to be joining the street celebrations, while avoiding the predictable government response, after Nepal’s talented youngsters see off the gallant Afghanis to qualify for their fourth consecutive U/19 World Cup finals. If that is the case, and the form suggests it, then the cricket played in Nepal should be even more friendly, fun and engaging than promised.

[Nesta Quin]

Bill Morris enters the race to be ECB Chair

Election excitement ahoy! Former leader of the Transport & General Workers Union, Bill Morris, has thrown his hat into the ring to be the next boss of the England & Wales Cricket Board.  Morris, now known as Lord Morris of Handsworth, is currently an independent non-executive director of the ECB.

A strange move this, and I think that he has done it to split the vote and therefore break the deadlock after the latest ballot between Michael Soper and Giles Clarke ended in a draw.  However, if Bill is serious, I doubt much would change.  I, for one, have very little faith in the man who displayed a cloying lack of backbone in the Liverpool docker's dispute, and who was cuddler-upper-in-chief to the New Labour administratrion to stand up to either the ICC or the club chairmen in any real way.