The Googly

Thunder Downunder: Last Hurrah

Obviously the crew at the Shed aren't the only souls upset at the closing of The Googly on the eve of the northern international summer. Sreesanth's pink Punjabi pyjamas has caused his feminine side to shine and upon hearing of the council decision to condemn, demolish and redevelop the dungeon he couldn't hold back the tears when his boyfriend told him the sad but inevitable news.

I propose a last ditch caption contest for this photograph. Give us your best shot and celebrate what has been one of the funniest blogs in the English blogging pavilion.

At the Shed, we will be soldiering on at 99.94 with regular contributions from The Tooting Trumpet and if we win the lottery and hide his drumsticks, perhaps the esteemed editor of this publication too.

It's been a fun ride. I'm sure we'll all cross paths again. And anything that makes Sreesanth sook, in my book, can't be all bad!

[Nesta Quin]

Grass roots cricket is the place to be

This is my farewell piece here for the Googly and it's hard to know where to begin or what to write.  With only one piece left, I wondered whether to continue with the off-stage antics of Shane Warne - thinking the tram-crash fest in Melbourne last week - or whether to write about something closer to home.

I've chosen home because I'm sure you all know about the other thing! So last weekend I went to our season opener. A triangualar tournament of Twenty/20s between Lossie, Elgin and Fochabers. What a day to open the cricket season. Minus about 10, no-one there but me and the prettiest ground in the north-east looking dreadful because all the trees are still in full winter mode.

A ground that delights in being situated beside the Spey and lined on all sides by lovely trees was left looking like a 12 year-old's football playground at the side of the A96!

It didn't matter - my team hammered the opposition to win their matches and to my surprise, enchanted with some damn fine cricket. The match I'd been to before this had been Australia v India at the MCG. Sitting in the sun there, I had been entranced at the sight of Ishant Sharma befooling the Aussies with his magnificant bowling, and equally been impressed by Gilchrist walking when palpably not out. Last weekend, everyone out walked before the umpires even gave them out. It was cricket as I know it.

There could be no greater contrast between freezing to death at Fochabers, and having to leave the MCG because it was too hot. Amateurs playing for nothing but the love of the game - professionals earning their livings, but there was something that made these two experiences the same. I was the fan at both matches. I cared. In fact I probably applauded my mate Dave with more enthusiasm when he got a wicket than I did Ishant.

This may be the end of The Googly, but it won't be the end of fans wanting to have a voice.

It's been great fun being part of this and I hope all readers will find their way to other sites. Here at The Googly we have directed readers to check out many up and coming England cricketers - so follow our stars. Last year Toots and I brought you all the news of the County Cricket and hopefully you enjoyed that. Keep the faith. County Cricket is not dead. Outside the Counties, not just here in Scotland, cricket is a fine place to be. See this little song from someone in Oxford:

If you go down to the Parks tomorrow, you’re sure of a big surprise,

If you go down to the Parks tomorrow, you’d better go down in whites,

For ev’ry fan that ever there was, will gather there for certain, because

Tomorrow’s the day the Oxford UCCE play Nottinghamshire

Ev’ry cricket fan who’s been good, Is sure to see 3

England

players,

Including a leading wicket taker, and lots of runs beside

Beneath the spires where nobody works, they’ll bat and field as long as they please,

Cos that the way the cricketers have their innings.

All the best to my readers. Follow the links and you'll find me elsewhere.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig}

IPL first weekend verdict - still not as good as it thinks it is

So what are we to make of the first weekend of IPL action?  I have been asked by a commenter on my Friday post if I have changed my mind about the league.  The short answer is no.

McCullum's innings was fabulous - a perfect boon for the organisers and their vastly-pumped money - but what people forget is that the match itself dissolved into a uncompetitive victory parade. There has been nothing occuring here that does not happen in the county Twenty20 championship in England.  Lest we forget, prior to McCullum's butchering the highest score in this form was by Cameron White playing for boring old Somerset in a boring old county match.  Yes, the second match between Chennai and Punjab was tight and exciting, but so was Kent vs Gloucestershire on Finals day last year. 

The IPL is a triumph for marketing, a few ego-maniacs off the field, and players who like lots of money.  It may change cricket forever, but only by simply causing a shift in the international calendar, leaving the month of April and early May free for the competition.  Hardly Packer and the WSC is it?

If you strip away all the gold trousers, silly team names, dancing girls and umpires in daft clobber, all you have is another game of cricket.  Pretty soon the paying public are going to work that out.

Why I don't like... Wisden's Five Cricketers of the Year

On the one hand, who cares? Nathan Bracken (he's the one on the left) has a World Cup winner's medal, luxuriant hair and a wife who appears to carry a couple of white ODI balls around for him to shine in anticipation of late swing. But as revealed by rediffnews, he has been beaten to one of the coverted Wisden Five Cricketers of the Year by... Ian Bell! Yes, Nathan's not inconsiderable contribution to a totally dominant World Cup win (16 wickets at 16 and an economy rate of 3.6!) was deemed less important than Belly Boy's contribution of er... what to er... what?

I bet Wisden editor Scyld Berry is bald.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image:Getty]

Somerset will win everything

So says Andrew Caddick, but that's not really why his words have caught the ear today. Never one to miss an opportunity, Caddick has weighed into the Harmison debate with his incisive review of Steve's recent performances in New Zealand.

"The standard he is playing right now, he is not viable in the side."

Caddick, of course, is not the only one to have doubts about Harmison's form - Michael Vaughan recently revealed that he had doubts before and during the tour of New Zealand, and the BBC's Jonathan Agnew expressed his fears some while back.

What makes Caddick's comments in an interview today of interest, is that is not often that we hear such naked bitterness. "He took over my spot ... He frustrates me ... I didn't get a chance to retire ... I was told I wasn't going to play again [for England]." Examples of how deep the hurt went in 2003.

Caddick was never an easy cricketer to enjoy - when playing for England he could be incredibly destructive on one day and then come out as a journeyman club bowler next time. Described again and again in his international career by journalists, coaches and fans as "frustrating", there is an irony in his choice of this word when speaking of Steve Harmison.

While I realise that by writing this piece I am giving Mr Caddick the oxygen of publicity for his views, I think it's a shame that he used his interview to spend time talking about Steve Harmison when he could well have taken the chance to give Somerset a resoundingly positive send-off for the season.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Shoaib Akhtar stoops to new depths

Last week I was not entirely unsurprised to hear that the PCB, in an unprecedented show of strength had decided that Shoaib had just taken that one step too far. Banned for, well, it's unimportant how many years, because Akhtar is at the end of his lease of cricketing life, and one year would be a year too far.

Perhaps this is why Shoaib is fighting so very hard to overturn the decision of the PCB. He knows full well that he could pick up a contract, if not with the IPL then with the rebel ICL and earn shed loads of money.

But Shoaib is a proud Pakistani cricketer. His fortune and fame are entirely based upon his appearance on the field for his country.

He wants to come back for his country, but to make an allegation of match-fixing is really not the way to go. Cricket had to search its very soul after the Hansie Cronje scandal - something that we will probably never know the truth of. For Shoaib to seek redemption now by suggesting that he has something to reveal is the mark of a very desperate man.

Sadly, for a man so gifted with the ball in the park, it seems that Shoaib is seeking nothing more than to wound his coaches and fellow players who have so often sought to protect him.

Wanton allegations do nothing  but harm to the game, the game we love so much and if any of his accusations should bear fruit and truth, then, sadly, we won't remember Shoaib for his skill and charm, but for dragging the sport into yet more disrepute.

The PCB has a lot of work to do.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

The continuing adventures of Shane Warne

Not so very long ago, The Googly's Australian correspondent reported on Shane Warne's decision to spend his precious time not with Hampshire (to whom he was contracted and had PROMISED to return to this summer), but earning a few much needed dollars playing for the IPL and of course the poker.

While musing on Shane's betrayal of his Hampshire fans, I stumbled (thanks to a message from a much-respected Australian cricket writer who I couldn't possibly name, because then I'd have to kill you all!), on a show that said journalist had just been to see in Melbourne. Yes! Shane Warne: The Musical.

Now, while this might sound fairly mad, I found it utterly believable having been in Melbourne just a few short weeks ago and found a show on called "Paul Keating: The Musical". On investigation I find that this Warne show has been in the making for several years. Its instigator, Eddie Perfect (the man behind "Paul Keating"), felt that Shane's extra-curricular activities were just the thing for a comedy musical. Well, it's hard to argue with that. Text messages of a lewd nature obviously lend themselves to song and dance.

Eddie said about the show before it opened: "The musical is about the big issues of success and failure, the pressure of public scrutiny, over-indulgence, being an Australian male and the heartbreak that comes with falling short of getting everything one wants."

Australian playwright Toby Schmitz has co-written the script and Mr Perfect has bagged the role of Shane for himself.

We have no inside information on what Shane thinks of this extravaganza, but according to my Aussie journalist friend, it was FAB and will be heading to this year's Edinburgh Festival. YES!! No Warnie at The Rosebowl but great laughs to be had in Scotland.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Thunder Downunder: West Indies tour squad announced

In their infinite collective wisdom the Australian selection committee recently announced the touring squad to tour the West Indies beginning in May.

There were few surprises in the squad with Simon Katich and Stuart MacGill returning to the Test squad and David Hussey and Shaun Marsh earning their first tour with the ODI squad.

Most interest has centred on 25 year old left-arm wrist spinner Beau Casson. Like MacGill, Casson left his home state of Western Australia to try his luck on the big turning Sydney pitch and after only one complete season it has paid a handsome dividend.

Capable of prodigious turn and with a well disguised wrong'un Casson is also a more than handy bat as his 88 in the Pura Cup final showed.

It is a grand chance for the young man to race ahead of young spinning rivals Dan Cullen and Cullen Bailey and if MacGill, only two matches back from surgery, aggravates his tender wrist then Beau Casson may get a red carpet ride into the Baggygreen brigade.  Full squads over the jump...

TEST SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Beau Casson NSW 25 yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
Ben Hilfenhaus TAS 25yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Phil Jaques NSW 28yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Simon Katich NSW 32yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Stuart MacGill NSW 37yrs
Ashley Noffke QLD 30yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs

LIMITED OVERS SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Nathan Bracken NSW 30yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
James Hopes QLD 29yrs
David Hussey VIC 30yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Shaun Marsh WA 24yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs
Cameron White VIC 24yrs

[Nesta Quin] [Image:Getty]

Thunder Downunder: Warne Walks

In what is probably a augury tale in regards to English County cricket, Shane Warne has opted out on the final year of his not so insignificant contract with Hampshire for business and personal reasons.

However, Shane will still be playing cricket for the Jaipur based Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League that begins in around three weeks time.

Warne has been instrumental in recruiting his Hampshire team-mates Dimi Mascarenhas and Shane Watson to Jaipur and I can only imagine that Hampshire chairman Rod Brangrove is less than impressed with Warne’s actions despite his diplomatic public utterings.

The rupee-laden Indian T20 tournaments, both official and unsanctioned, are affecting cricket at the top levels in a way that we haven’t seen since the 1970’s with World Series Cricket and the 1980’s with the questionable rebel tours to the then Apartheid dominated South Africa.

In the last few weeks we have seen New Zealand and South Africa field less than their best teams in Test matches and it would seem that only the richest cricketing nations will be able to prevent their best players from falling to the temptation of easy money on the sub-continent.

Cricket Australia, well aware of the long-term damage that rebel organisations can cause to the game, have so far been willing to accomodate their best players but a few fringe players have opted out of contracts to take a full-time place in India.

Jason Gillespie while still contracted to the national board retired from first-class cricket and is now preparing to play in India. Brad Hogg likewise. There is a suspicion that Adam Gilchrist’s decision to retire was made all the easier by the truckloads of cash he will receive in India.

There are rumblings in England that there could soon be a player revolt at many of their best players missing out on the gold rush and if that happens, and here at The Shed we hope it does not, then only Australia and India will be relatively unaffected by this new league.

Although I am anticipating the IPL with some enthusiasm I’m beginning to see the dangers it holds for the rest of the cricketing landscape. I can see a time in the not so distant future where only two or three nations reguarly compete year round with their best eleven.

And that, however you look at it, cannot be good for the game of cricket.

[Nesta Quin]

New Zealand vs England - Series Player Ratings: New Zealand

Okay, it wasn't the best cricket we've ever seen, but it was competitive and unpredictable and, at the end (as our picture shows) poignant. The Trumpet awards the series an 8, but cross the jump for the New Zealand player ratings.

Jamie How 6 - A vital 92 on the first day of the series set up the Kiwis' extraordinary demolition of England in the First Test. Thereafter looked slightly out of his depth.

Matthew Bell 3 - Scores heavily in the domestic game, but seems paralysed by nerves in the international spotlight. Should sign up to a TV dance competition immediately.

Stephen Fleming 7 - Looks fantastic, a God amongst mortals, but still the match-turning knocks elude him. For a man unfulfilled as a batsman, it is deeply depressing to hear of his retirement at 34. He should speak to Graham Gooch.

Matthew Sinclair 1 - Not good enough.

Ross Taylor 8 - Made a dazzling 120 to set up the win in Hamilton, thereafter dazzled intermittently. Easy to forget that he has played just five Tests. If Vettori's bowling deteriorates further, expect whispers of captaincy.

Jacob Oram 6 - A batting all-rounder who played as a bowler who bats. Still doesn't convince at Test level - more of a Lancashire League pro playing a bit above his comfort level.

Brendon McCullum 5 - Gilchrist-lite. Slightly too pleased with himself, poor shot selection was his undoing too often. Keeping was showy rather than safe.

Daniel Vettori 6 - A bowling all rounder who played as a batsman who bowls. Captained beautifully at Hamilton, but was less convincing in the two defeats. His lack of penetration with the ball must be worrying him.

Kyle Mills 7 - Honest trier whose decapitation of the England order in the second innings at Hamilton sealed the win.

Jeetan Patel 7 - Outbowled his captain and brought energy and commitment to the field.

Chris Martin 6 - Took wickets regularly, but never looked like a running through a side. Too one-dimensional to trouble international batsmen. Showed real guts to allow Southee's cameo after a clout on the head.

Tim Southee 8 - Bowled a superb opening spell at Napier, then played an Astlesque innings when the game was up. Beautiful action, tremendous hand-eye coordination, wonderful temperament, big, strong boy - what more can one ask of a teenage cricketer?

Mark Gillespie and Grant Elliot 1 - Not Test cricketers on this evidence.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

 

IPL first weekend verdict - still not as good as it thinks it is

So what are we to make of the first weekend of IPL action?  I have been asked by a commenter on my Friday post if I have changed my mind about the league.  The short answer is no.

McCullum's innings was fabulous - a perfect boon for the organisers and their vastly-pumped money - but what people forget is that the match itself dissolved into a uncompetitive victory parade. There has been nothing occuring here that does not happen in the county Twenty20 championship in England.  Lest we forget, prior to McCullum's butchering the highest score in this form was by Cameron White playing for boring old Somerset in a boring old county match.  Yes, the second match between Chennai and Punjab was tight and exciting, but so was Kent vs Gloucestershire on Finals day last year. 

The IPL is a triumph for marketing, a few ego-maniacs off the field, and players who like lots of money.  It may change cricket forever, but only by simply causing a shift in the international calendar, leaving the month of April and early May free for the competition.  Hardly Packer and the WSC is it?

If you strip away all the gold trousers, silly team names, dancing girls and umpires in daft clobber, all you have is another game of cricket.  Pretty soon the paying public are going to work that out.

Why I don't like... Wisden's Five Cricketers of the Year

On the one hand, who cares? Nathan Bracken (he's the one on the left) has a World Cup winner's medal, luxuriant hair and a wife who appears to carry a couple of white ODI balls around for him to shine in anticipation of late swing. But as revealed by rediffnews, he has been beaten to one of the coverted Wisden Five Cricketers of the Year by... Ian Bell! Yes, Nathan's not inconsiderable contribution to a totally dominant World Cup win (16 wickets at 16 and an economy rate of 3.6!) was deemed less important than Belly Boy's contribution of er... what to er... what?

I bet Wisden editor Scyld Berry is bald.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image:Getty]

Somerset will win everything

So says Andrew Caddick, but that's not really why his words have caught the ear today. Never one to miss an opportunity, Caddick has weighed into the Harmison debate with his incisive review of Steve's recent performances in New Zealand.

"The standard he is playing right now, he is not viable in the side."

Caddick, of course, is not the only one to have doubts about Harmison's form - Michael Vaughan recently revealed that he had doubts before and during the tour of New Zealand, and the BBC's Jonathan Agnew expressed his fears some while back.

What makes Caddick's comments in an interview today of interest, is that is not often that we hear such naked bitterness. "He took over my spot ... He frustrates me ... I didn't get a chance to retire ... I was told I wasn't going to play again [for England]." Examples of how deep the hurt went in 2003.

Caddick was never an easy cricketer to enjoy - when playing for England he could be incredibly destructive on one day and then come out as a journeyman club bowler next time. Described again and again in his international career by journalists, coaches and fans as "frustrating", there is an irony in his choice of this word when speaking of Steve Harmison.

While I realise that by writing this piece I am giving Mr Caddick the oxygen of publicity for his views, I think it's a shame that he used his interview to spend time talking about Steve Harmison when he could well have taken the chance to give Somerset a resoundingly positive send-off for the season.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Shoaib Akhtar stoops to new depths

Last week I was not entirely unsurprised to hear that the PCB, in an unprecedented show of strength had decided that Shoaib had just taken that one step too far. Banned for, well, it's unimportant how many years, because Akhtar is at the end of his lease of cricketing life, and one year would be a year too far.

Perhaps this is why Shoaib is fighting so very hard to overturn the decision of the PCB. He knows full well that he could pick up a contract, if not with the IPL then with the rebel ICL and earn shed loads of money.

But Shoaib is a proud Pakistani cricketer. His fortune and fame are entirely based upon his appearance on the field for his country.

He wants to come back for his country, but to make an allegation of match-fixing is really not the way to go. Cricket had to search its very soul after the Hansie Cronje scandal - something that we will probably never know the truth of. For Shoaib to seek redemption now by suggesting that he has something to reveal is the mark of a very desperate man.

Sadly, for a man so gifted with the ball in the park, it seems that Shoaib is seeking nothing more than to wound his coaches and fellow players who have so often sought to protect him.

Wanton allegations do nothing  but harm to the game, the game we love so much and if any of his accusations should bear fruit and truth, then, sadly, we won't remember Shoaib for his skill and charm, but for dragging the sport into yet more disrepute.

The PCB has a lot of work to do.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

The continuing adventures of Shane Warne

Not so very long ago, The Googly's Australian correspondent reported on Shane Warne's decision to spend his precious time not with Hampshire (to whom he was contracted and had PROMISED to return to this summer), but earning a few much needed dollars playing for the IPL and of course the poker.

While musing on Shane's betrayal of his Hampshire fans, I stumbled (thanks to a message from a much-respected Australian cricket writer who I couldn't possibly name, because then I'd have to kill you all!), on a show that said journalist had just been to see in Melbourne. Yes! Shane Warne: The Musical.

Now, while this might sound fairly mad, I found it utterly believable having been in Melbourne just a few short weeks ago and found a show on called "Paul Keating: The Musical". On investigation I find that this Warne show has been in the making for several years. Its instigator, Eddie Perfect (the man behind "Paul Keating"), felt that Shane's extra-curricular activities were just the thing for a comedy musical. Well, it's hard to argue with that. Text messages of a lewd nature obviously lend themselves to song and dance.

Eddie said about the show before it opened: "The musical is about the big issues of success and failure, the pressure of public scrutiny, over-indulgence, being an Australian male and the heartbreak that comes with falling short of getting everything one wants."

Australian playwright Toby Schmitz has co-written the script and Mr Perfect has bagged the role of Shane for himself.

We have no inside information on what Shane thinks of this extravaganza, but according to my Aussie journalist friend, it was FAB and will be heading to this year's Edinburgh Festival. YES!! No Warnie at The Rosebowl but great laughs to be had in Scotland.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Thunder Downunder: West Indies tour squad announced

In their infinite collective wisdom the Australian selection committee recently announced the touring squad to tour the West Indies beginning in May.

There were few surprises in the squad with Simon Katich and Stuart MacGill returning to the Test squad and David Hussey and Shaun Marsh earning their first tour with the ODI squad.

Most interest has centred on 25 year old left-arm wrist spinner Beau Casson. Like MacGill, Casson left his home state of Western Australia to try his luck on the big turning Sydney pitch and after only one complete season it has paid a handsome dividend.

Capable of prodigious turn and with a well disguised wrong'un Casson is also a more than handy bat as his 88 in the Pura Cup final showed.

It is a grand chance for the young man to race ahead of young spinning rivals Dan Cullen and Cullen Bailey and if MacGill, only two matches back from surgery, aggravates his tender wrist then Beau Casson may get a red carpet ride into the Baggygreen brigade.  Full squads over the jump...

TEST SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Beau Casson NSW 25 yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
Ben Hilfenhaus TAS 25yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Phil Jaques NSW 28yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Simon Katich NSW 32yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Stuart MacGill NSW 37yrs
Ashley Noffke QLD 30yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs

LIMITED OVERS SQUAD
Ricky Ponting (c) TAS 33yrs
Michael Clarke (vc) NSW 26yrs
Nathan Bracken NSW 30yrs
Stuart Clark NSW 32 yrs
Brad Haddin (wk) NSW 30yrs
Matthew Hayden QLD 36yrs
James Hopes QLD 29yrs
David Hussey VIC 30yrs
Michael Hussey WA 32yrs
Michell Johnson QLD 26yrs
Brett Lee NSW 31yrs
Shaun Marsh WA 24yrs
Andrew Symonds QLD 32yrs
Cameron White VIC 24yrs

[Nesta Quin] [Image:Getty]

Thunder Downunder: Warne Walks

In what is probably a augury tale in regards to English County cricket, Shane Warne has opted out on the final year of his not so insignificant contract with Hampshire for business and personal reasons.

However, Shane will still be playing cricket for the Jaipur based Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League that begins in around three weeks time.

Warne has been instrumental in recruiting his Hampshire team-mates Dimi Mascarenhas and Shane Watson to Jaipur and I can only imagine that Hampshire chairman Rod Brangrove is less than impressed with Warne’s actions despite his diplomatic public utterings.

The rupee-laden Indian T20 tournaments, both official and unsanctioned, are affecting cricket at the top levels in a way that we haven’t seen since the 1970’s with World Series Cricket and the 1980’s with the questionable rebel tours to the then Apartheid dominated South Africa.

In the last few weeks we have seen New Zealand and South Africa field less than their best teams in Test matches and it would seem that only the richest cricketing nations will be able to prevent their best players from falling to the temptation of easy money on the sub-continent.

Cricket Australia, well aware of the long-term damage that rebel organisations can cause to the game, have so far been willing to accomodate their best players but a few fringe players have opted out of contracts to take a full-time place in India.

Jason Gillespie while still contracted to the national board retired from first-class cricket and is now preparing to play in India. Brad Hogg likewise. There is a suspicion that Adam Gilchrist’s decision to retire was made all the easier by the truckloads of cash he will receive in India.

There are rumblings in England that there could soon be a player revolt at many of their best players missing out on the gold rush and if that happens, and here at The Shed we hope it does not, then only Australia and India will be relatively unaffected by this new league.

Although I am anticipating the IPL with some enthusiasm I’m beginning to see the dangers it holds for the rest of the cricketing landscape. I can see a time in the not so distant future where only two or three nations reguarly compete year round with their best eleven.

And that, however you look at it, cannot be good for the game of cricket.

[Nesta Quin]

New Zealand vs England - Series Player Ratings: New Zealand

Okay, it wasn't the best cricket we've ever seen, but it was competitive and unpredictable and, at the end (as our picture shows) poignant. The Trumpet awards the series an 8, but cross the jump for the New Zealand player ratings.

Jamie How 6 - A vital 92 on the first day of the series set up the Kiwis' extraordinary demolition of England in the First Test. Thereafter looked slightly out of his depth.

Matthew Bell 3 - Scores heavily in the domestic game, but seems paralysed by nerves in the international spotlight. Should sign up to a TV dance competition immediately.

Stephen Fleming 7 - Looks fantastic, a God amongst mortals, but still the match-turning knocks elude him. For a man unfulfilled as a batsman, it is deeply depressing to hear of his retirement at 34. He should speak to Graham Gooch.

Matthew Sinclair 1 - Not good enough.

Ross Taylor 8 - Made a dazzling 120 to set up the win in Hamilton, thereafter dazzled intermittently. Easy to forget that he has played just five Tests. If Vettori's bowling deteriorates further, expect whispers of captaincy.

Jacob Oram 6 - A batting all-rounder who played as a bowler who bats. Still doesn't convince at Test level - more of a Lancashire League pro playing a bit above his comfort level.

Brendon McCullum 5 - Gilchrist-lite. Slightly too pleased with himself, poor shot selection was his undoing too often. Keeping was showy rather than safe.

Daniel Vettori 6 - A bowling all rounder who played as a batsman who bowls. Captained beautifully at Hamilton, but was less convincing in the two defeats. His lack of penetration with the ball must be worrying him.

Kyle Mills 7 - Honest trier whose decapitation of the England order in the second innings at Hamilton sealed the win.

Jeetan Patel 7 - Outbowled his captain and brought energy and commitment to the field.

Chris Martin 6 - Took wickets regularly, but never looked like a running through a side. Too one-dimensional to trouble international batsmen. Showed real guts to allow Southee's cameo after a clout on the head.

Tim Southee 8 - Bowled a superb opening spell at Napier, then played an Astlesque innings when the game was up. Beautiful action, tremendous hand-eye coordination, wonderful temperament, big, strong boy - what more can one ask of a teenage cricketer?

Mark Gillespie and Grant Elliot 1 - Not Test cricketers on this evidence.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

 

The Thunder Downunder: In Memory of Old Bill

It is with a heavy heart that the crew at The Shed return from their enforced cyberspace exile. Bill Brown, Australia’s oldest surviving Test player passed away in Brisbane last night after 95 fruitful years serving his family and country with humility, courage and poise.

There are few within the Australian cricketing family that are not saddened by his demise. He was the grandfather of the baggygreen and his loss is deeply felt within the fraternity.

It is regretably the end of an era. Old Bill, as he was affectionately known, was the last surviving Australian player pre-WWII and probably our most loved former captain. Softly spoken and forever self-depreciating, Bill was a great storyteller who still made guest appearances well into his 90’s and never charged a cent for his time. His wisdom, generosity, experience and wit will be sorely missed.

An Invincible, Bill’s international career began at Trent Bridge in 1934. He was an intelligent and reliable opener who often provided the perfect foil for Bradman’s later exploits. At the crease Bill was more of an artist than a tradesman and he was renowned more for his placement than his power. In his second Test, at Lords, he secured his maiden Test century. The home of cricket was a ground that became a personal favourite.

During the first televised Test, at Lords in 1938, Bill carried his bat scoring 206 and I presume those wealthy enough to possess a television witnessed a sublime innings. No opening batsman since has achieved a greater total when not out at innings close. He once remarked that his proudest moment was when he took his grandson up to the Long Room to see his name in gold on those hallowed boards. Lords held a special place in Bill’s heart as it does for many within the cricketing world.

Like others of his generation he lost his best years and more than his fair share of mates to WWII where he served his community with distinction. A RAAF pilot who served in New Guinea during the failed Japanese invasion of Northern Australia he never marched on ANZAC Day because he felt he “didn’t do enough”.

The first match after the war was the inaugural Test against New Zealand and Bill was given the honour and responsibility of captaining the side. The year after against India at the MCG Bill was the victim of the questionable tactics of Indian bowler Vinoo Mankad for the second time in consecutive matches.

Mankaded in Sydney, Bill spoke to Vinoo about the dismissal after play and Vinoo gave his word that if there was ever to be a repeat he would warn him first. Proving himself a man with little honour Vinoo repeated the tactic, without warning, when Bill was on 99. Not unlike recent events this summer passed, there are two sides to this story. Ultimately it depends upon who you would prefer to believe. However, one fact is beyond question, Indian and Australian cricket has a long bitter history of unsportsmanlike behaviour.

Leaving that argument for another day, Old Bill was patience, strength, humility and forgiveness personified. News Ltd journalist, Robert Craddock visited him at his bedside the day before he passed on and Bill was as fearless facing death as he was confronting Japanese shrapnel or the new ball on an uncovered greentop.

Yesterday, Australia lost one of it’s greatest men. His memory will be undoubtedly cherished.

He is survived by his wife Barbara, sons Peter, Geoffrey and Steve, his 10 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren.

[Nesta Quin]

The ICC Under-19 World Cup Update Five

I'm sure that Mssrs Duckworth and Lewis are very decent chaps, but you don't want them turning up at your party do you? Such was the fate of the latter stages of the Under-19 World Cup, with Malaysian rain ending the tournament unsatisfactorily. India will be pleased with their win and deserve congratulation, as does the ICC for taking the showcase to an emerging cricket nation.

Our beautiful picture shows Jason Gillespie leaving the field one last time after a dazzling career throughout which he never lost sight of the fact that cricket was a game, despite injuries that must have tested even his resolve. He deserves a longer tribute than this and a happy retirement.

The Trumpet too steps off the field of play having enjoyed every minute of his time at The Googly. It's been my great pleasure to have written many posts, mostly under the Performance of the Day banner, recently under the Key Moment header and as the Betting Coach. My great thanks to the Editor, Lee Calvert, fellow writers Mimitig, Carrie Dunn, the one and only Nestaquin and for the many comments I have read with great interest from the likes of The Doc, Third Umpire, Miriam and even Pepp! I'll still be here, but mainly below the line - I hope to see you all there very soon.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

New Zealand vs England in a park

The Trumpet is of the opinion that the best places to watch cricket are its citadels (Lord's, Eden Gardens, Newlands, the MCG) or its quaint outgrounds (Southport, with the trains chugging past at midwicket, Colwyn Bay, Horsham).

New Zealand is possibly unique in playing international cricket at quaint "outgrounds". One such is Seddon Park, venue for the First Test vs England. Named after New Zealand's nineteenth century Prime Minister, Richard Seddon (who, incredibly, rejoiced in the Animalhousean nickname "King Dick"), the ground is indeed a park, with picnickers likely to stroll behind the bowler's arm pursuing an errant hard boiled egg.

Park it may be, but it is a cricket ground and not a rugby ground, so we can expect a bit of life in the pitch and gully in the usual spot, not leaning on the boundary board. If England have anyone fit to bowl, we should be in for a treat.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty}

The Deadly Sin of Gluttony

Wikipedia speaks thus, "At the end of 2007, Bangladesh had played in 49 Tests, winning only once against a Zimbabwe team crippled by the exodus of its senior players. They have lost 43 of their matches, and 29 of these by an innings". 

The Trumpet is in a quandary. He wants the Bangla Boys to retain Test status as that's the only way they will get better at the Greatest Game (and their ODI and T20 performances show that the raw talent is available) but do scoreboards like the one on the right (from Chittagong, Second Test Bangladesh vs South Africa Day One) do anybody any good? And what about Test records? They don't really matter, but they are a guilty pleasure of every cricket lover and, from tomorrow, likely to show Graeme Smith and Neil McKenzie (yes, Neil McKenzie!) sitting atop the pile of greatest opening stands.

The Trumpet isn't sure what, but knows that "something" should be done.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]   

The ICC Under-19 World Cup Update Four

That rather nervous young man, who looks just a little like Glenn McGrath, is New Zealand's Tim Southee. Just turned 19, he is a precocious talent whom New Zealand must be tempted to throw into the Test arena after his successful international bow in the T20 games vs England.

Even he wasn't able to carry New Zealand into the Final of the Under-19 World Cup, as India Duckworth-Lewised their way past the boys from the Land of the Long White Cloud to book their place for Sunday. They'll wait for the winners of the semi-final between The Trumpet's favourites, Pakistan and the Parnell-led Saffers. We'll keep you in the loop at The Googly over the weekend.

Elsewhere in Malaysia, England's boys play-off for fifth place on Saturday. That wouldn't usually matter, except that the opponents are, you've guessed it, Australia.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Matthew Hayden Invitational XI

Our picture shows Matthew Hayden proudly holding his trophy as winner of the "Andrew Symonds' Best Friend Competition 2007." (Lee - can you check if I have this right?)

Hayden is known for many things (LBW b Hoggard for example) including his oft-stated religious beliefs. As Wikipedia tells us, "Hayden is a devout Roman Catholic and says "When I’m in trouble, I ask: ‘What would Christ do?'" That's Christ not Gilchrist - everyone knows that Gilly would try to hit every ball out of the ground.

So, with due acknowledgement, since other religions are available, join the Trumpet over the jump as we build the Matthew Hayden Invitational XI.

Captain - JC himself. He (that's He) would keep wicket, gathering deliveries the way he gathers souls, and bat at seven, offering redemption to sinning specialist bats with momentum turning knocks rooted in muscular Christianity. Not unlike his near-namesake Gilchrist - though Adam is more saintly.

Coach - John the Baptist. Useful adviser, though clearly deferring the Captain. Might change cap awarding ceremonies to something wetter.

Number 1 - St Matthew. Hard-hitting left-hander and sledger-in-chief from slip. Can be relied to tell the Gospel-Truth to match referees.

Number 2 - St Andrew. Current in run of bad form due to fishing (outside off stump).

Number 3 - St Thomas. Appears class, but inability to dominate leads to doubts about his place. Cherubic looks don't help his cause.

Number 8 - St Peter. Burly, bowls a heavy ball at first change, averages 23.5 in ODIs but at a strike rate of 103. Refused to tour three times before finding favour with the Captain.

Physio - Mary Magdelene. Sorts out bowlers' feet after a long day in the field.

The Press - Pontius Pilate. They'll crucify England if they lose to New Zealand.

Banned for taking 30 pieces of silver from the ICL - Judas Ischariot.

Can Googlyers add to the XI?

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Website of the Week - The Spin

  No, the Website of the Week is not Dan Vettori's homepage for that photo is not the Kiwi spinning legend, but star cricket writer at guardian.co.uk and The Wisden Cricketer and non-pareil amongst OBOists, Mr Lawrence Booth. His regular Tuesday gig is to round-up the world of cricket in one whimsical bundle he likes to call The Spin. And damned fine it is.

For those unable to resist his quill, LBWs (Lawrence Booth's Works) extend into longer format on the shelves of good book stores everywhere. His oeuvre comprises Arm-ball to Zooter: A Sideways Look at the Language of Cricket, Cricket: Celebrating the Modern Game around the World (in collaboration with Philip Brown and that literary giant, Sir Ian Botham) and Cricket, Lovely Cricket due June 2008. Hop over the break for a teaser of that tantalising title's topics.

"Cricket, Lovely Cricket" is a sports book with a difference. It is an original and engaging journey around the perennially curious world of cricket, leaving no metaphorical leg-break unturned and peering at the game from every conceivable angle. Written by Lawrence Booth, who had little option but to turn a youthful obsession with cricket into a means of paying the mortgage, it seeks to answer the questions that crop up on a daily basis but rarely receive a satisfactory answer. What are the players really like? What is the secret of sledging? Why get so worked up about the Ashes? Why all the cliches? And when will India take over the world?Fittingly, for a sport that can last up to five days without a result, "Cricket, Lovely Cricket" is rambling but probing, humorous but insightful, sweeping but reflective. It is underpinned by the essential - and slightly frightening - truth that cricket does not actually matter at all, yet continually finds itself relating the game to the wider world.

By examining what cricket tells us about the nations who spend vast chunks of their existence fretting over the fate of a small red ball, it attempts to get to the heart of a sport that seems more capable than any other of bewitching its followers. Full of stories, observations, jokes and whimsy, this book is a captivating look at the way in which the game has become what it is today - and what, given a fair wind, it might be like in the future. (Amazon.co.uk)

[The Tooting Trumpet]

England under-19s fail to impress, again

On the 27th Jan, Pakistan's juniors took on Sri Lanka at the Sinhalese Sports Club Ground in Colombo and won by an impressive nine wickets. A couple of days before that England had failed to capitalize on their previous good form and lost to Sri Lanka.

So what hope today was there for the so highly rated England boys as they played Sri Lanka again? Well bloody nothing really. Sri Lanka won the toss and batted first. James Harris struck early and removed multi-initialled EMGDY Munaweera for just 6, but his companion Chandimal hit 10 fours and one six on his way to an unbeaten 112. Sri Lanka posted a total of 312 - the highest I think in this Tri-Nation's series and England had a lot to do.

They didn't do much. Wakely out for a duck, Ben Brown (to my utter disappointment) only made 12 and Sam Northeast (who does sound like part of the Shipping Forecast) was top scorer with 32. England lost by 158 runs and my only comfort is that Billy Godleman was not playing. So many hopes for the future lie on that young man's shoulders that we can imagine that he would have won the game for us single-battedly.

A pretty miserable preparation for the World Cup - I can only hope that it will all go better for the boys there.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

The start of the Commonwealth Bank Series

For anyone of English or Welsh heritage, the thought of the Commonwealth Bank Series will bring back heady memories of last winter. After the humiliating, though predictable, 5-0 Ashes whitewash, and the very poor start for England in the CB series, very few of us would have predicted seeing Paul Collingwood leading the troops to victory. A very important victory no less. This was a trophy England had not set paws on for 20 years. It shocked us fans, shocked Australia and probably shocked the cricketing world.

England are not supposed to win anything, specially overseas, so it really was something a bit special.

This year the CB Series is to be contested by Australia, India and Sri Lanka, and a very interesting series it could turn out to be. Presumably there will be no Adam Gilchrist in the Australian side and with tensions still high between Australia and India - well fireworks could be the order of the day.

The Sri Lankan squad have just arrived on Australian shores and will be keen to both disassociate themselves from the race row that has somewhat sullied the Indian tour, and the 2-0 Test defeat they suffered at Australia's hands a scant three months ago.

Of course, since then Sri Lanka have bounced back from that defeat and the One-day series defeat they incurred at England's hands to win the Test series against England. They face their first challenge on Wednesday when they play a warm-up game against the Prime Minister's XI due to be captained by Victoria's Cameron White.

Selfishly, I don't give a toss what happens in that match. I'm just hoping that by the time they get to the MCG on 22nd Feb, it'll be all to play for because that's when I'll be there!

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

India post 526 on day two at Adelaide

Day two began as day one had ended with Sachin Tendulkar and MS Dhoni at the crease, with Sachin hoping to add substantially to his overnight score of 124. Dhoni did not stay with him for too long - caught by Andrew Symonds off Mitchell Johnson's bowling in just the 89th over. Joined by Anil Kumble, India were given a lovely present (it amounted to 80 runs) when Phil Jaques dropped Kumble in the 96th over. If India do go on to win this match, the irony that the butterfingers were those of Symonds will not be lost on their supporters. Tendulkar joined his team mates in the pavilion shortly afterwards but at lunch it was fair to say that India had won the first session, adding 100 runs for the price of just the two wickets.

Harbajhan Singh and Kumble motored on after the break, Harby finally going more than half-way through the session having notched up 63 of 103 balls. RP Singh was not as successful, out for a duck but Anil guided Ishant Sharma through until tea, although Michael Hussey did have a good chance of a catch.

It is not too critical, I don't think, to say that Australia's fielding has been less crisp and precise in this match than we are accustomed to, and they may well come to rue missed chances. The 45 extras will also be a reason for some soul-searching in the Aussie camp. With India's total over 500 at tea, an Australian breakthrough was desperately needed and, once again, Mitchell Johnson was the man to do it. Tempting Kumble with a good length ball, the Indian succeeded only in edging it back for a clean catch by Adam Gilchrist.

Australia's openers Phil Jaques and the recently-restored-to-health Matthew Hayden had 21 overs to negotiate before stumps and this they did safely for the reward of 62 runs. There was just one heart-in-mouth moment as replacement fielder Dinesh Karthick almost effected a Jaques run-out, but it was an "almost" and the third session ended with Australia trailing by 463.

Now while Indian fans may be jubilant at what appears to be India bossing the match for the first two days, and Harbajhan Singh may make bullish statements to the media about India being "in the driving seat ... on top", England fans know all too well how Adelaide can woo one with false hope. The scars of last year are deeply etched into our psyche and until we see just how well India can bowl and how well Australia can bat on this wicket, I would be counting no chickens. No chickens at all.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Australia vs India - Day Four's Key Moment

Our photo shows a mournful Mitchell Johnson raising his bat to acknowledge a fine maiden fifty. Had he found another partner like Stuart Clark, the fourth day's key moment would have been very different, but Tait is as raw with the bat as he is with the ball, and much, much less talented and the game was soon up.

At that point, the Indian dressing room's pent up emotion spilled out on to the WACA with Harbhajan inevitably to the fore, trailling an Indian flag in his wake. Indian joy was evident, but not unconfined as stumps were held as souvenirs, a word was said in the huddle and the opposition acknowledged with genuine respect on both sides. Strange that so unremarkable a scene should be a key moment, but after the rancour of Sydney, it was.

This Test was not without its controversies, but they fell within the warp and weft of cricket's rich tapestry. Both sides knew that and will do well to remember it in the future. The match's spirit and play was personified by the Man of the Match, Irfan Pathan, who works  positively with ball or bat, communicates his joy and pain, but never oversteps the mark. With the likes of him, Ishant and Mitch, the future of the game is in good hands. The sides meet again next week - I'm counting the hours.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Australia vs India - Day Three's Key Moment

Our photograph shows Ricky Ponting entering the field of play for the first time since much opprobrium poured upon his Baggy Green, not from Poms, but from his own kind - Aussies - less than happy with his captaincy in the volcanic Second Test. He wears an expression of, if not quite fear, certainly apprehension.

After lunch on the third day of the Third Test, Punter opted for Michael Clarke's golden arm - a gamble worth trying - and was rewarded at the other end with Stuart Clark's snaring of the admirable Irfan Pathan, to leave India 160-6 with a lead of 278. With just four wickets left and the lead under 300, here was the opportunity to go for the kill. But instead of whistling up one of his two speedsters, Tait or Lee, on came Mitchell Johnson for a three over spell. Soon Clarke was back on this time partnered by Symonds. Given an attack that would struggle to threaten Derbyshire's batting, VVS and Dhoni predictably steadied the ship and Australia face over 400 to win.

Punter's inexplicable decision to ignore Lee and Tait in a match-turning situation was the key moment of another splendid day's cricket. Some have claimed that the over-rate bothered him (has it before?)  - if so, why bowl just 22 overs in the first session? You don't win as many Tests as Punter without being a good captain, but only captains 100% focussed on the matter at hand can be really effective.   

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

News from the ECB: Graveney loses out

So the news we've all been on tenterhooks for is now with us. David Graveney is not the new National Selector but Geoff Miller is. Miller has been on the selection panel since 2000 and as such has been a familiar figure in the media when selection issues have been raised. However he has seldom been at the eye of the storm, as it were. This could all change as the New Zealand tour is almost upon us and if the first Test goes badly for England.

The post of National Selector is a new one, coming from the recommendations of the Schofield Review, and as such certainly many fans have less than a clear idea of what the job actually entails. One hopes that the new incumbent is fully conversant with the parameters of the role.

Miller (former England - 34 Tests - Derbyshire and Essex all-rounder) is joined on the Selection Panel by Ashley Giles (respect) and James Whitaker (one Test for England but a highly successful county batsman and Director of Cricket at Leicestershire). Whitaker also has previous management experience with England A (now, as you'll remember England Lions - grrr) and the Under-19s. Ashley, post-retirement last year, looked as though he would slip seamlessly into the Test Match Special commentary team, but turned that down in favour of becoming Warwickshire's Director of Cricket. The Bear's gain, TMS's (and their loyal listeners') loss. Personally, I think his addition to the Selection Panel is splendid news and along with the ECB I am "grateful to Warwickshire CCC for allowing Ashley to combine his new role with that of Warwickshire's Director of Cricket."

Oh yes, and Graveney gets the job of Performance Manager. We can now sleep easy knowing that Grav takes "responsibility for managing the development of players with the County Academy programme across all 18 First Class Counties and ensuring that the most talented youngsters in England and Wales .." etc etc etc. Or not.

Googly readers will no doubt have a view.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Behind the Shades: a retrospective review

Back in the days of yore, when the Earth was young, gods stalked the land and we were all beautiful - or more accurately, last year - a certain Mr Duncan Fletcher gave Simon and Schuster the gift of publishing The Autobiography. Now this would probably have gone mostly unremarked, in the way of most sporting memoirs, had said Mr Fletcher, or perhaps his publishers, not done a deal with one of the tabloid rags for serialisation, and had the rag not selected the part of the book that dealt with Andrew Flintoff and his pedalo antics.

I must admit to having read some, not all, of the extracts (free of charge, at my work) and like, no doubt, many others, thought that Duncan had indeed betrayed the trust of the dressing-room. I had little intention of reading the book but my librarian, knowing my interest in cricket, told me that he had asked our local council to purchase a copy of Behind the Shades for my delectation.

Obviously it would have been rude to say I didn't want it but it wasn't until a week or so ago that the book arrived in all its new never-before-opened gorgeousness for me to read. I have a weakness for the feel, smell and touch of a new book no matter what its contents - hell, I can even be excited at the arrival of a brand-new pristine, shrink-wrapped telephone directory - so I plunged headfirst into Mr Fletcher's oevre. The opening words of the Preface "It all ended in tears" were almost enough to have me hurling the tome across the room, shouting "You predictable whining bastard", but that could have damaged the book and led to a fine from the council, so I persevered and the first two chapters: Born in Rhodesia and Down South really were a slog to get through. Full of the worst kind of self-deprecating praise - listing his personal achievements as a school-boy and junior player eg "...I did eventually become captain of cricket at Prince Edward [his school]. Another complete shock, after those years of only being classed good enough to be an underling." And much more of this type of guff. However, as soon as he moved on to writing about his time with Glamorgan and then the England team, the book became an absolute can't put it down number.

His insights on the political machinations of the ECB and the ICC are well worth reading, and he has plenty of kind and genuine things to say about, amongst others, Graham Thorpe and Mark Ramprakash. His relationship with Michael Vaughan is explored and there are tributes galore to Ashley Giles. The very small part of the book that deals with the problems of Flintoff are not sensationalised and actually do not feel like a betrayal of anyone or any dressing-room.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in English cricket and reading the closing words, I did actually have a tear in my eye: "I know I am lucky to have taken that journey [coaching England], and certainly feel immensely proud to have experienced it. I think we will end as we started. Really, it has been one hell of a time."

Hugh Morris, managing director of the ECB said to "Wales on Sunday" at the time excerpts of the book were published in whichever tabloid it was: "I've not read the book so I can't comment on its contents."

Well, Hugh and others - give it a go. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Australia vs India - The WACA

Apart from having a splendid name, the WACA was always known for being "a bit lively". In recent years, its reputation has mellowed, but the pitch for the the Third Test between India and Australia promises to remind us of the old days. Our photo shows MS Dhoni practising his best Rodney Marsh c1974 impressions. If the pitch is quick and bouncy, but not dangerous, The Trumpet applauds the curator and asks for more please around the world.

The following two paragraphs are quoted from an article at Cricinfo. The Trumpet reproduces them and invites Googlyers to draw no conclusions at all.

"A number of these players played a ODI here a few years ago and that pitch had plenty of fire," said Gilchrist. "We would be looking to open up any little scars or wounds that they might have had from that day because we bowled them out quite comprehensively. It's probably the bounce that's the main thing that surprises you when you first come out here."

Sourav Ganguly, meanwhile, was again down with fever - the third such instance in six weeks - and did not participate in India's net session. He was taken to a local Perth doctor, accompanied by Chetan Chauhan, the Indian manager, and physio John Gloster. "He's changed the medicines and, if I'm not better by the morning, then I've got to undergo a blood test," Ganguly, who also has a sore throat, told Kolkata's Telegraph.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image:Getty]

 

England Under-19s: the pick of the squad

It is not yet clear who will be in the team for the Under-19 World Cup squad, but of the boys chosen to represent England in Sri Lanka in the preparatory Tri-Nations Tournament, we, at The Googly are proud to recogonise that quite a few of our One to watch boys are in the team. Last year we picked, publicly, Billy Godleman and James Harris.

Bubbling under, and if only there had been enough time, we were looking at Alex Wakely, Ben Brown, Steven Finn and Tom Westley.

Some names have sneaked under our radar and I do hope that in the year to come, our readers will help spot young pretenders.  Our current top-line Test side is a bit shaky and is not giving any of us the hope of being Aussie beaters in the next year or so. Therefore we must put faith in the layer below - and that does not mean bringing in old lovely lags like Mark Ramprakash. We need the young guns.

We'll be watching results this month in Sri Lanka and later in March in the World Cup. We are hoping that the boys are aggressive enough to stamp their mark on the world stage, but also hoping that our lads know how to play in the spirit of the game.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Cricket: Chess on Grass?

The splendid Pat Murphy of BBC Radio FiveLive often describes Test cricket as "Chess on Grass". But if it were chess on grass, we would need to name some of the tactics - over the jump you'll find the Trumpet's suggestions inspired by the last few days.

The Singh Defence - You claim that because not everyone heard something, it wasn't actually said.

The Ponting Gambit - You offer to settle dubious catches by taking the fielder's word. Your opponent accepts: Checkmate!

The Kumble Gambit Declined - You offer to sort the problem out without involving the officials - this strategy goes nowhere.

The Hogg Variation - You require your opponent to introduce pieces previous off the board, then take them.

The BCCI - The King (and Queen).

Peter Roebuck - The Bishop.

Symonds and Singh - Pawns

Ponting - Not a Knight.

Procter - The clock. Every time someone makes a move, he gets thumped.

Board - Not black and white squares, just shades of grey.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Performance of the Day - Brian Lara

No, you didn't misread the headline and yes, our picture does show the Great Man taking leave of the international game, but the Prince of Port-of-Spain is still playing cricket as the Trindad and Tobago vs Guyana scorecard shows. Having scored a century in the first dig (and taken three catches), Lara wrapped up the win with an extraordinary assault, pinging 53 off just 27 balls. For the man to still have the hunger to do that, after all he has achieved, is mighty impressive and deserving of a PotD.

The wider question concerns whether Lara was forced out / retired too early. Whilst it's not ideal for team cohesion, surely it must be possible to allow one of the game's All-Time Greats to pick and choose his tours as he approaches 40? Unlike the visibly creaking Hayden and flab-fighting Inzy, Lara carries no excess weight in fat or muscle and has seldom been injured.

And it would allow cricket fans another opportunity to watch in wonder at the man's batsmanship.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Honesty vs Umpires: a discussion in 2,054 parts

The current situation Downunder, no not that one, this one, has brought out the argument that has been oft-discussed on the TV, on the radio, in the pub and on this blog in past: is it right to expect players to assist umpires by being honest about their catches, edges etc etc?

I say no.  This is the highest level of elite international sport and accordingly you let the umpires do their job, accepting that players will take the piss occasionally.  Every sport has an aspect of cheating, I played rugby union for 12 years and in that game cheating is elevated to an art form by its greatest practitioners.  The problem in cricket is that there is this strange and oppressive folk-memory that believes players used to walk; just like all summers used to be hot and there were no paedophiles before 1993.  This is patent nonsense.

That said, the ICC must do more to assist the men in the middle.  The third umpire must be used more extensively in a proactive role, if anything to give him more to do as he must be bored rigid for most of the day.  For example, the Michael Clarke "catch" could have been sorted very quickly had the third ump simply radioed "not out" to Benson or Bucknor; while cogitating an LBW appeal, the third ump could confirm there is no edge involved.  There are myriad ways the man upstairs can be used, some useful, some not, but it is time for the conversation to be had seriously and an acceptance that the role will be expanded significantly.

Regarding the reaction to the Second Test: frankly, if India had beaten Australia with a few cheats and poor decisions no-one would be as outraged as they are at the moment (I don't remember anyone saying Hoggard should have told Damien Martyn to stay where he was after the monstrous inside edge LBW at Trent Bridge, do you?) .  The cricket watching public are seriously irritated because Australia are not only the best in the world, they have the temerity to break the rules as well.  Bastards.
[Image: Getty]

10 cricket rules we wish were real

1. No gum chewing on the field of play or in post match interviews.

2. All sledges must end with “no offence”. E.g. “You can’t bat for shit mate, no offence”

3. The word 'batsman' to be replaced with 'bastard' in commentary and on scoreboards etc. E.g. “Here’s Ian Bell, an undoubtedly talented bastard, but not a dominant enough bastard to occupy the crease in the way that the likes of Graham Thorpe did.”

4. Catches by the crowd will count, meaning players would have to be more accurate with their six-hitting by aiming for people who were asleep, old ladies, children under five or Alan Mullally.

5. Park rules apply when lesser nations such as Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and England play against the Aussies. I.e. a jumper placed halfway down the wicket so the crap players don’t have to run as far; if an Aussie hits the ball onto the roof, he’s out; each Aussie must retire at 50 runs; underarm bowling only; etc etc etc.

6. England batsmen apparently always look good in the nets, so runs scored there will count towards match totals if they get out for below 50. All unused nets runs can be carried over to the next Ashes

7. Test Captains can play a joker card at any time when their team is batting, meaning that they get Martin McCague bowling at them for five overs, both ends.

8. Any bowler that bowls more than five no-balls in an innings must spend the rest of that innings wearing a Dunce Hat, even when bowling.

9. A la dodgeball, any fielder hit with the ball on the volley who fails to catch it must leave the field. They may only return when another catch is taken.

10. The ball can only be returned to the wicketkeeper by placing it in his hand gently; anything else will be seen as an act of war and the match will be called off immediately while the heads of state meet to discuss it.

Symonds vs Harbajhan: the answer?

As a leader, it is critical to stand by your men (or women). Here's what's likely to be cricket's most successful leader ever standing by his man literally (as well as metaphorically). As yet, we don't know how the dispute between India and Australia (I think it's just India and Australia's cricket teams, although reading the blogs, you could be forgiven for thinking that it's India and Australia as nations) will be resolved, but one thing is for sure - someone is going to have to show some leadership.

What's the Trumpet's answer? Over the jump for my thoughts.

Procter allows the appeal and sets aside the suspension.

Harbhajan and Kumble and Symonds and Ponting sit around a table in a meeting facilitated by Clive Lloyd.

They emerge with a joint statement that recognises:

(i) A great Test was spoiled and a last chance for some all-time great players to play against each other is being wasted.

(ii) Offence was taken on both sides by individual remarks and / or a series of lower level provocations.

(iii) Apologies have been offered and accepted.

(iv) Both captains and teams agree to conduct themselves appropriately for the remaining two Test matches which will not include sledging of any kind.

(v) In acknowledgement of the gravity of the offence taken and to show that the matters are not being swept under the carpet, both sides have agreed a substantial donation to Steve Waugh's Foundation which works in India.

Is that too much to ask?

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]

Self-Belief - thy name is Australia

Hands up all those who think Punter timed the declaration right? Just him in the photo then.

How good was that Australian win? Australia were 134-6 in their first innings and India replied with 534. Australia's replacements for McGrath and Warne (Johnson and Hogg) didn't get a second innings wicket, but ten Indians were despatched in just over two sessions. Australia's team comprises 461 caps: India's 720. Anil Kumble has 229 more wickets than the entire Australian team. Australia's XI has just over 30,000 runs: India's four batting greats alone (Dravid, Ganguly, VVS and Tendulkar) have more than 33,000.

In years gone by, magic such as that fashioned by Punter would have led to his burning at the stake. Nobody would believe that mere human faculties could account for such events. The Trumpet salutes not just an all-time great cricket team, but an all-time great team.

[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]