The Googly

Remembering Alec Stewart

In the interests of fair play, and this Googly correspondent would never allow bias to sully these pages, it is only right then to have a look at Alec Stewart's glittering career. After all, Jack Russell was highly praised earlier this week, and you can't have one without the other. Alec made his Test debut against the West Indies in 1990 at Bridgetown. It was not hugely auspicious - a mere 13 in the first innings, and not called upon to do more than hold up an end in the second as Larkins saw England safely to the win. Three years later, however, Stewart had matured and times had changed. He flayed a still strong bowling attack and hit two centuries at that same ground.

But for many of us, he's better remembered as the archetypal wicketkeeper, sharing the gloves with Jack Russell until he gained the upper hand, and indeed took the captaincy from Michael Atherton in 1998. It was a good selection by the powers-that-be, and Alec led the team to victory against South Africa. The celebrations didn't last that long. Failure in the Ashes and the 1999 World Cup saw him, rather viciously axed. Back for more success in 2000 (a century in his 100th Test) didn't help his cause when an Indian bookmaker alleged that Stewart had provided information during the 1992-1993 tour of India, but nothing was proven and in 2002, Alec became England's most-capped Test cricketer. He retired in 2003 and these days is a regular member of the Test Match Special team, adding wisdom, humour, insight and not a little irreverence to the commentary.

A national treasure? Only time will tell, but with an MBE and OBE to his name, he certainly has fans out there.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig}

The Cricket Show: has Darren lost his dazzle?

Last night's Cricket Show had none of its usual sparkle, and it wasn't until half-way through that I realised why. The list of guests was as extensive as always - starting with Paul Nixon (pictured right), and one might have expected with the Badger up first that a rip-roaring fun night was on the cards. However, despite the opening topic being that of "jelly-beangate" - which you would have thought would have provoked some laughs, it was all very low-key.

Then I clicked: Goughie didn't have a co-host to bounce off. No Tuffers and no Corkie made for very few laughs. I'm sure R5Live presenter Vassos Alexander was doing his best, but sadly he brought no fizz to the party - perhaps he'd been briefed to keep a grip on potential anarchy.

Still, Nixon was good value and it was good to hear him enjoying his captaincy at Leicestersire and having a good time in his benefit year. The sweetie issue was, obviously, raised, but neither Nixon or Gough wanted to spend much time on it. Dazz revealed that he "can't get his breath around it" which was a suitably sweet thing to say, and a lot of sense was talked about the difference between jokey banter at the crease and real abuse. Sree Santh came in for a few harsh words - mainly about the beamer. In 20 years Gough reckons he's never bowled one and that a cricketer shouldn't be playing at the highest level if he can't control the ball.

Geraint Jones joined them and agreed that it had all been blown out of proportion. He reckoned Chris Tremlett and Sidebottom had done really well but that India had just controlled the ball better (apart from Sree Santh, obviously!) and won because they were the better side on the day. It was all rather flat.

Talk moved on to Twenty20 Finals day - Alex Gidman spoke for Gloucestershire and Mal Loye for Lancashire. Unsurprisingly all were really looking forward to the occasion and all reckoned they were in with a chance of the win. Perhaps it was asking too much for any revelations - after all, no-one was going to say that their team was useless with no chance of doing anything and the whole day was going to be a fiasco! One of the few things I learned was that Kent have signed Lasith Malinga and they reckon he'll be playing tomorrow.

This was about as good as it got - when the last minutes of the show were taken up with discussing the Twenty20 team mascots, I felt that there was a bit of barrel-scraping going on. So that was pretty much it in a week that cricket overall has failed to deliver much excitement. I'm hoping that The Cat will be back next week and zany humour and hysterical laughter will set the airwaves humming again.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

It's that time of the week - Goughie's Cricket Show

Since I last surfed the airwaves chasing the Darren Gough mega-ride, things have been more than a bit grim. In sport Le Tour has been plunged into an awfulness that knocks the Festina affair and Operacion Puerto into a cocked hat: Vinokourov, Moreni and Rasmussen have been sent home in disgrace. Bradley Wiggins has been sent home because his team abandonned. Denny Menchov has given up. I am distraught about my cycling. Formula One has been on trial for spying charges levelled against the ultra-honourable Ron Dennis's team McLaren by Italians Ferrari. Apparently no charges are proven and no sanctions issued by the FIA today, but McLaren race on under a cloud. In life, floods devastate the  Midlands and South-west - Gloucestershire and Worcestershire are in dire straits. In Oxfordshire - I saw it - fields are under water, the Thames has burst its banks and I flew away from all this to return to the North and safety.

So with all the chaos ruling, what an escapist joy to find the Dazzler on the little radio again tonight. Though not all far removed. Floods still played a part - New Road under water, again and what a lot of controversy being generated. Rob Key feels bitter about it, but as he says " there we go Goughie". It's a hard call for County grounds, and everyone just wants the most cricket. Big chats about our Googly pick Joe Denly - 114 before another Googly hopeful Rashid bowled him. Gough admitted that he hadn't taken a bead on Joe before this, but now he's a marked young man.

Bit of a discussion about KP - Kevin is Kevin was about the most insightful comment. This was where I got tired, so very tired. It's hard sometimes to keep the spirit going. Chris Adams  (pictured) was called upon to talk about the problems at New Road - replaying matches is a really dodgy issue. The ECB has tried to help, but as Chris says - don't set precedents.

Jeremy Snape was called upon to join the discussion, but couldn't offer many insights. Talk of Trescothick was interesting, but no-one wanted to say anything revealing. Snape obviously found it hard to talk of England picks and their hardships while being in his role at Leicestershire. Jon Lewis joined the crew to talk about Gloucestershire - tales to tell about floods rather than cricket. A few words about the new boys in the England team - nothing revealing, but nice to hear Jon not bittter, just keen on his county. There was a lovely moment when a listener phoned in and asked Gough who his favourite cricketer was, and very nice words about Shane Warne "a diamond geezer" - I think this is true in County cricks - friends who take their children to the Rose Bowl have nothing but good words to say about Warne.

The last guest on was Mark Butcher - a great servant of England and County cricket. Surrey is reaping rewards this year in County Cricket for nurturing young talent, and good to hear Mark and Dazz joshing a bit. Honesty about Dhoni - that was good and what we tune into this show for.

It wasn't the joyful show that I had hoped for, but that's probably because there's little joy to be taken from any sport right now.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

One to Watch: Adil Rashid

Well, I know there's nothing clever in choosing Rashid to write about in the One to Watch spot: he was awarded Performance of the Day by the Trumpet back in May, and has been mentioned many times in these pages. However we have not yet taken a really close look at this young Yorkshireman of whom so much is expected in the years to come. Back in what seems the dim and distant past when Darren Gough (pictured with Adil) was invited to take the captaincy at Yorkshire, I remember him saying that one of the reasons he was so excited about the job was the chance to work with and develop one of the most thrilling young bowling talents in England. That'd be Rashid then. Now, the boy sits second to the Dazzler in Yorkshire's bowling table with 27 wickets so far this season. His batting is not looking too shabby either - fifth in the county table with an average of 43.90.

The statistics this season back up his promise of last year, when he exploded into the cricket-watching consciousness and set tongues wagging with 25 wickets in just six appearances. An eight-wicket haul against India with England Under-19s confirmed his class. No-one should be surprised though - Adil is a product of the Terry Jenner spin programme and we all know who Terry's most famous son is (oh alright, in case there's a reader out there wondering: Shane Warne).

If young Rashid can remain free of injury (he has changed his action following a stress-fracture to his back last winter), then I believe we can confidently expect to see his name on the Honours Board at Lord's before too many years go past.
[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Darren Gough's Cricket Show

I was pleased to hear trailers on Radio 5Live earlier in week confirming that Darren's show is now a fixture on the airwaves from 8pm til 9 on Thursday evenings, and even more pleased to learn that, taking advice from The Googly (Dazz and Ramps at fantasy Wimbledon), he had invited Mark Ramprakash to "cha cha cha" into the studio. A dash down the road from my Book Group - I live in Scotland, it's a way of life - clutching my copy of Neil Gaiman's wonderful Mirrormask accompaniment to his film for this week's reading - thank goodness Dazz didn't show up on the radio til 8.05pm. His opening was a typical Goughian chuckle of "yeah, heh, heh" as he introduced the man in the sparkly vest (Ramps) and The Analyst, Simon Hughes (pictured right). Now Simon may not have made much of a mark in his cricketing career, but is the voice of reason and fact in broadcasting and is much missed by many a viewer since the demise of Channel Four's live coverage.

There was a good debate about the rights and wrongs of the Kent/Worcestershire match being replayed. General feeling seemed to be that this is not a good decision. As Ramps said, everyone suffers the weather and the teams should "take it on the chin". Moving on to the selection for the initial England squad for the Twenty20 World Cup, the Dazz once again, only had to pick up the phone to have Tim Bresnam and Adil Rashid on the other end. Tim admitted to being shocked at his inclusion, but he's looking forward to bowling and batting against India. Adil is still feeling pretty fresh and chuffed after Man of the Match in the Roses game, and it's his dream to bowl to Sachin Tendulkar.

This wasn't the knockabout Cricket Show we had last week with Tuffers, or the fantasy one that I produced some weeks ago. Maybe a different dynamic of studio guests altered the tone. But this was a serious show and when they started on how young bowlers should be allowed to develop, Gough as usual provided some real insights. He's been there, done that, and isn't so far away himself from being recalled to the England squad as a death-bowler. When he says that young men are not given enough time to develop the groove and learn from experience how to vary their approach, I think there are selectors and coaches out there who would do well to listen.

We had chat about KP's latest statements about being "half asleep at Edgbaston" because he is "mentally shot to bits, not at the races". Now Goughie, a great chum of KP's didn't have a lot of sympathy, but then admitted that bowlers always had injury to claim and get a bit of a break. As the Analyst explained: "England have played an international game every four days since last October". That's a hell of a toll on anyone.

Could you, I or any of the couch-seeking slobs we know, manage to do anything like that?

As I said above, this wasn't the laugh-a-minute stuff of Gough last week, but new stuff that is not just regurgitated rubbish from other sports feeds. Keep at it Dazz - we're listening.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Strauss's fall from grace

Well we all know what Andrew will be doing next weekend. The England Lions? Who thought that one up then? Apart from magnificent beasts striding the plains of the Masai Mara (if it has plains), or lying around doing nothing at Longleat, there is only one pride of Lions in sport and that's the rugby lot. Heaven knows what they think about the ECB nicking their monicker. Still we seem to be stuck with it now and as the team formerly known as England A, prepare to take the field against India, it's hard to imagine that Mr Strauss does not feel that he's back at school and been sent down from Div I to Div II in maths (or French).

So how did this sad situation come to pass? It doesn't seem so long ago that we were cheering for Strauss as he hit 129 at the Oval, making him the only player in the 2005 Ashes to score a century twice in the series - the first coming at Old Trafford, with blood oozing from his ear from a Brett Lee ball. Hustled into the captaincy due to injuries to Michael Vaughan and Andrew Flintoff in the summer of 2006, his England team were humiliated by Sri Lanka - a 5-0 white-wash in the One-day series. Honour was, partially, redeemed as England took the Test series 3-0 against Pakistan (the debacle of the final Test was not of Strauss's making). But then they went Downunder. Bumped as captain in favour of the returning Flintoff, we hoped that Andrew (of the Strauss flavour) would bat his way into the limelight. Very few of England's team came back from Oz with their reputations enhanced, but few were as diminished as Strauss. With a mere two fifties after 20 innings on tour, he was dropped before the ICC World Cup.

He did make an appearance, but 7 against the West Indies at Bridgetown was not the performance we expected of him. Some pretty poor scores (6 and a blob in the third match) in the Test series against the West Indies this summer (his 77 in the fourth Test was not indicative of his overall form) led to him not being picked to play in the Twenty20 or One-day internationals. Strauss has hardly been setting records in the county game for Middlesex and while an average of 54 is not shabby, this is only calculated from three innings so not possible to relate it to a return to form.

However, with England's top order far from impressive, let's not rush to judgement. Rather wait and see if Andrew Strauss can overcome past problems representing his country and return to grace on the fair fields of Essex.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Cricket Look-a-likes: Paul Collingwood

After a poor week for the England team, things only got worse yesterday for St Paul of Collingwood's long-lost brother, Jonas Bjorkman. There I was sitting quietly in the calm after yet another great Australian victory (Robbie McEwen blazing up the blind side to steal the first sprint of Le Tour in Canterbury - I just love those men in lycra!), and out of the corner of my eye, I swear I thought Paul was wielding a racket down in SW19. Shock! Then I realised it was another loser.

Not a good time for the strawberry-blonds. Jonas lost out to the least-famous Scotsman of tennis - that'd be Andy's brother Jamie then. And England swept to a magnificent defeat on Saturday to what is virtually a scratch team from the West Indies.

It's hard to see how England can pull themselves out of the mire to face India in the One-day game. Maybe Paul and Jonas should swop trades?

[mimitig]

Strauss to captain England Lions

Andrew Strauss has been named as captain of the England Lions team to face India in the forthcoming tour match at Chelmsford next weekend.

David Graveney, chairman of the selectors, said: "Andrew Strauss will captain the England Lions side in what should be a closely fought match against the touring Indian team. I know Andrew is delighted to be captaining the side and excited by the prospect of taking a look at India prior to the first Test.

"The team selection recognises those players that have performed well in the county championship and this match presents a great opportunity to impress the selectors. We've selected a strong side to ensure the touring team is well and truly tested ahead of the upcoming Test series."

It is a reasonably strong side, indeed: apart from Strauss, the squad comprises Tim Ambrose (Warwickshire), Ravi Bopara (Essex), Tim Bresnan (Yorkshire), Stuart Broad (Leicestershire), Joe Denly (Kent), Graham Onions (Durham), Adil Rashid (Yorkshire), Owais Shah (Middlesex), Chris Tremlett (Hampshire), Jonathan Trott (Warwickshire). [Carrie Dunn] [Image: Getty]

Mediawatch with Bell and Colly

Another Friday came and went as I trawled the airwaves and web pages for some exciting insights from cricketers in the media. A pretty fruitless activity, and I wished I could turn back the clock just a little and hear again the almost hysterical laughter of Dazz and Tuffers as they ended their broadcast on Thursday. That would have been more entertaining than the everlasting yawn that is Paul Collingwood at the BBC. We all know that the thorn in England's flesh in this current One-day series is Shiv Chanderpaul and if England didn't have "theories as to how we might get him out" it would be more than a tad concerning. Sadly Paul continues "we'll get that bit of luck or a magic ball which gets him out early". Sounds like a good plan, Paul! If Shiv's ankle comes up well, and it's looking good, and he plays today, no doubt Paul will be hoping Harry Potter can hang around Trent Bridge with his wizarding wand.

That was about as good as it got from England's captain this week. We learned that Monty is still a part of England's One-day plans - no explanation of why he'd been left out at Edgbaston. We also discovered that England is still "learning and experimenting and finding out which (sic) are the best players in these certain conditions and situations ... getting the balance right in the side." Predictable rubbish all, really, and disappointing from a man who we know can speak fluently and interestingly on his sport.

No wonder I went to bed on Friday eagerly awaiting a Bell column in today's Guardian only to have my hopes dashed. The Bell-Boy's gone missing, and I for one can't wait for his return.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

The Dazzler's back

Well what an evening! First off, my carefully crafted draft of this piece disappeared into the ether, so I'm afraid, dear reader, that you only have my second attempt. I think I started last time bemoaning the weather-disrupted Twenty20 matches and being glad that after a few weeks absence, we were going to be treated to another evening of Dazz on the radio. It would have been nice to have an explanation of what happened to DG's show in the past couple of weeks, but we weren't so I must draw the conclusion that indeed the boys were dancing and watching the tennis. Back now, and tonight Mr Gough brought us a truly dazzling array of guests. Phil "The Cat" was with him in the studio, and they were joined by such stars of stage and screen (well, maybe pitch and park) as Kevin Pietersen, Owais Shah, Robert Croft and Vik Solanki.

It is a testament to Gough's standing within the cricketing world, that with only one complete show under his belt, it only takes a phone call and perhaps that persuasive voice, to convince chaps that it's worth spending their time on his show. KP was positively charming as a guest. He has so changed this fan's view of him in the past months. There was a very sweet exchange between him and Goughie about the Dazz being his best man in the forthcoming nuptials and on the cricket front, much openess and sense talked of the under-performing but keen new England One-day side. A lot of admiration for the Australian side was evident - and why not? They do bloody beat everyone, or as KP said "when the Australians turn up, they all do it" referring to the team spirit that we have seen so much of over the years. When asked about the England spirit, we had this from KP: "Colly's good, fantastic. Everyone can talk to him... such a good vibe in the dressing-room."  Now I could be flip and suggest that a captain should be good, but this sounded heartfelt and reminded me of Ian Bell's comments last week. I found KP surprisingly eloquent and when asked about his shout at captaincy a couple of weeks ago I totally believed his "Mate, I would be proud and humble to be captain in the future".

To be honest, there were rather a lot of "mates", "no worries" and "aw looks" from all of them (except Robert Croft, who could never say a word that wasn't gorgeously Welsh in tone) - at one point I wondered if I'd tuned into Channel 9 by mistake! But all in all, this was a show with plenty to recommend it - discussions with Croft particularly on the crowd problems in Twenty20 and the situation that Glamorgan are in having chosen to bring on their own young talent and not go down the Kolpak route were genuinely interesting and fresh.

It's a great return for Dazza and thanks so much Phil for reminding us of that classic sledge: "Lend us your brain, we're building an idiot!" These chaps, Gough and Tufnell are natural broadcasters - both with the ability to convey the smiles on their faces across the airwaves. Love 'em - hope the Cricket Show now has a regular spot.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

More Colly, less Bell

I may have missed something this week, but it seems that little Ian Bell has been mostly silent. Perhaps he had to have a lie-down, overwhelmed with emotion from the plaudits thrown at him by The Googly last week. Don't stay away too long, Ian. We look forward keenly to your column these days and need you back.

Fortunately over at the BBC, Paul Collingwood has saved the day for those of us who relish the media forays of our brave cricketing heroes, and I'm pleased to be able to tell you that Paul and the boys are going out there tonight in the Twenty20 match against the West Indies to win. Phew, Paul, for a moment there I wondered whether we had a captain on our hands who actually planned on losing! Now that might sound cruel, but we have warned Paul that more is expected from him than platitudes and cliches. It's all well and good to hear that he is excited about the captaincy, spending a lot of time thinking about it, the attitudes in the dressing-room are "fantastic" and the boys are "raring to go". But please, these are simply what we would expect.

My interest was piqued when Paul said: "It's been an interesting few days with things I've had to do that I've never had to do." I was looking forward to some real insights into taking over a team that has performed extremely poorly in the One-day game, and thought we were in for a treat. Or at the very least some intriguing revelations about unusual demands on England's captains, but sadly no more was forthcoming.

Let's hope the team shows a bit more flair and originality on the pitch, and then perhaps Collingwood will have the confidence to give an interview that tells us something new.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Paul Collingwood to hold press conference to confirm his captaincy

The word on the street is that Paul Collingwood will be holding court to the media today at 2pm.

Well, I wonder what that's going to be about.

Yes, Colly is the new one-day captain and will debut in his new role in the Twenty20 against the Windies. [Carrie Dunn] [Image: Getty]

Chris Gayle is angry with the West Indies Cricket Board

What on earth goes on in the minds of the West Indian Cricket Board?

After all the shenanigans surrounding the Test team and the captaincy debacle, three members of the Windies' one-day side turned up in England today - the day they played the England Lions.  As such, random bodies from across the country were drafted into the side, just so they could make up the numbers - including Ruel Brathwaite from Loughborough University, and Andrew Richardson, of Sawbridgeworth in the Home Counties League.

Unsurprisingly, Chris Gayle, the one-day captain, is not a happy man. He has his very own diary on Cricinfo, and fumed: "I have to say that this is disappointing and it is not at all a good start. I also have to mention that I was hurt and disappointed that after I was nominated as captain by the selectors, I did not initially get the support of the board...The board is always talking about players needing to change but we, the players, need changes from the board as well. We can't be out in the wilderness all the time because we are the ones who are getting all the blame. These are some of the things that we as players have to go through. The WICB says they want the best out of players but we also need the best out of the board."

Fighting talk, and indicative of the decimated, demoralised state of West Indies cricket. [Carrie Dunn] [Image: Getty]

In the media with Bell and Colly

Not surprisingly the main topics for our men in the media this week have been the One-day captaincy - for Collingwood, and not playing the FP semi for Bell. As far as the latter is concerned, young Ian has written from his heart in the Guardian (and the article appears on the GU blogs). His disappointment at not being picked shows clearly, as does his love for Warwickshire and commitment to the club. The Googly is pleased to see that Mr Bell is continuing to dispense with the usual platitudinous guff that we have seen so much of in cricketers' columns over past years. He also provided a solid and interesting piece at the end of last week on 1st innings batting.  Go to the top of the class, Belly-Boy!

Over at another place, I'm afraid that Paul just hasn't quite found the same sort of groove yet. On the subject of Michael Vaughan's decision to quit as One-day captain, Paul reveals that he is "surprised" (obviously hadn't been reading the same papers and articles as us then), that MV has "world-class talent but captaincy puts stress on your shoulders". In another unexpected exclusive, he tells us that it is "up to the selectors to make the decision" but if offered the captaincy would be "very happy to take it".  Thank you Paul, valuable insights all.

While I'm very happy at the thought of Collingwood becoming captain, I am regretful that KP has now ruled himself out of the hunt, as I won't get another chance to hear Geoff Boycott's dulcet Yorkshire tones declaring that the fans "don't care what colour his hair is, if he has danglers in his ears or round his neck". Strange moment that.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Another week, another show

A Goughian starry night awaited us with much talking of the just-ended series against the West Indies. England won comprehensively, but perhaps only because the Windies are a spent force these days.

Not to be. R5 Live chose to devote this slot to a Bike Night (Rossi pictured right). Now I have no problem with this, in fact, as a bike fan, I welcome more coverage of the 2-wheeled beasts, but there seems to have been a bit of promise that didn't deliver.

While the Test series has been less than heart-threateningly exciting, there has been plenty for England fans to chew on. Some new faces appearing and looking like fixtures in the team for this season - step forward Matt Prior and Mr Sidebottom - and some worrying injuries (that'd be you Hoggy) that would have been worth hearing about tonight. I also hoped to hear more from Mickey Blue-eyes about his abrupt U-turn on the One-day captaincy and whether his superb batting this afternoon was to mark out to the selectors that he shouldn't be ignored. I hoped to hear from St Paul - after all his dream before the Test certainly came true. He got a ton, he is most likely to be next One-day captain, and just to make it perfect for the north-eastern lad, he hit the winning runs.

I do not rush to judge - no doubt we'll have more from the Daz and Dom show next week, and more gems from Hicksie. R5 has to schedule according to the demands of the sporting programme, so hey, ho, we'll see what happens in this slot next week. More from The Googly when the BBC decide where their priorities lie.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Vaughan set to resign as one-day captain

Everyone's favourite England captain Michael Vaughan will resign as one-day skipper at the close of play tonight.

It's been a very badly-kept secret over the weekend, with some of the Sunday tabloids reporting the decision, but there has been no official word despite the rumours.

Now the ECB confirm that they will be making a statement on his future at stumps this evening. It's even possible that they may name his replacement - though don't hold your breath. Stay tuned! [Carrie Dunn] [Image: Getty]

Alex Loudon: what happened to him?

Another public-schoolboy (last week The Googly drew your attention to James Hildreth - trumping the BBC by 6 days!) has earned a mention in these pages, but for a rather different reason. Now we ask what has happened to Alex Loudon? This ex-Eton lad, currently a Warwickshire cricketer who promised so much as a bowler (right-arm offbreak) in his junior years and was touted as a future England captain. In 2004, when at Kent, he helped take them to a Championship win over Middlesex with a superb 6 for 47. The move to Warwickshire, although disappointing for Kent, seemed to work well for him and in 2006 Alex made his England One-day debut against Sri Lanka at Chester-le-Street.

It was fairly disasterous. Run-out (batting at 8) for a duck, his 6 overs went for 36 when far more was expected of him. The rest of his season was spent battling loss in form and injury and it has been no surprise that he has not been a name at the top of the list for England selectors. So far this season he has only managed 3 wickets and leaked 248 runs, but on the other hand he has a remarkable economy of only 2.69.

At 26 years old, Loudon is far from a spent force, and it would a shame if his talent were not given a chance again.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Michael Vaughan - the backlash starts here

I am going to confess something - I was a little bit pissed off when Michael Vaughan got that ton last week.  This is because I knew it would justify, to him at least, the way he has been treated by Peter Moores.  It seems that Vaughan is to Moores what Beckham was to Eriksson: an untouchable favourite who is always in the team regardless of form or fitness.

Basically, Michael Vaughan is nestling right on my tits at the minute.  It is not hard to see why: his recently acquired hideous habit of referring to himself in the third person like some WWF wrestler; the fact that he has decreed he is batting at No 3 all summer; his mardy-arsed bleating about his "exclusion" from the Ashes; and the crowning turd atop this cake of bullshit, today's latest pontificating outburst of nonsense about why England were eye-wateringly awful in the World Cup (naturally, it wasn't his fault).

Vaughan now sits there with the quiet arrogance of a man who in his own eyes has been proven right.  About everything.  I would throw back that as welcome as his century was, it was against the worst West Indies team in living memory, and is he not embarrassed to claim this as some sort of redemption?  Let us not forget that when he needed to bat well he was awful (16.25 average in the World Cup, discounting the Windies dead rubber). He would be advised to keep his mouth shut until he has scored in excess of 700 test runs this summer, then his crass arrogance may by justified.  Amazingly, in the eyes of most commentators, KP is the one with the attitude problem! 

Anyone else as angry as I am?  Come on into the vitriolic waters, it's lovely. [Lee C] [image: Getty]

Strauss: A Man on the Edge

If I were Andrew Strauss, I'd be feeling distinctly nervous round about now. The manner in which Michael Vaughan has stamped his authority on the captaincy in Headingley, and the contrast between the pair's batting figures must loom large in Andrew's mind.

15 off 27 balls was not the innings Strauss needed, after an unremarkable performance at Lord's both as batsman and captain.

There are indeed those who would suggest that his hesitancy in declaring and seeming uncertaincy about how best to utilise his (admittedly badly diminished) bowling attack, cost England a likely win.

Perhaps unfair criticism, but there was nothing sparkling about Strauss in the 1st Test, and nothing this time round to suggest that there is anything more in the tank or bank.

It's all a long way from Lord's 2004 when Strauss rocketed into our consciousness with a century, on debut, against the New Zealanders. Only reckless running from Nasser Hussain prevented the truly fantastic feat of a century in both innings. For the rest of that season and in 2005, Strauss was a fixture, opening the batting with Marcus Trescothick, racking up the runs and taking THAT catch in the Ashes that caused at least one commentator to tell us that man could fly.

But memories count for nothing and, after a string of disappointments, it's quite possible that Andrew Strauss's name is no longer automatically on the selectors' list for the next Test.

He must be praying that Trescothick's rehabilitation in Somerset is not yet complete.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Michael Vaughan - a captain resplendent

It's not often that I am thrilled to be proved wrong, but in this case, I am ecstatic. In fact, I'd be happy for everyone I meet over the next few days to taunt me and descry my lack of faith. I was going to entitle this piece "Where Now for Vaughan" as I was convinced that not only his lack of match practice (or indeed any practice) would severely curtail his run-making, but also that The Knee would break down again.

Michael Vaughan has metaphorically thumbed his nose at me and I am delighted.

After a year or so of calamity, culminating in the broken finger shortly after his return to Yorkshire, it was hard to imagine that back in the Test side, under enormous pressure, he would remind us, so emphatically, of why we need him as captain.

From 2003 when he inherited the captaincy of the Test side from Nasser Hussain, to the 2005 Ashes, Vaughan led the team to a string of victories - including the whitewashes of both New Zealand and the West Indies. His attributes of canny calmness, astute man-management skills and an extraordinarily sharp cricket brain have been over-shadowed these last months by endless references to, and discussions of, his injuries.

Returning to lead the England team in the ICC World Cup, all the doubts were on show. Unfit, untested in competition and with a demoralised side, when his hamstring went ping, I don't think I was the only one to wonder if this was the last we had seen of Michael Vaughan on the international stage.

But he is a man of huge determination and has fought back. It was a joy to see his magnificent innings on Friday. 103 - including 11 boundaries, and a return to his glorious best. Along with some sharp and insightful captaining decisions, this was just what the doctor ordered.

Welcome back Michael, we've missed you.

[Image: Getty] [mimitig]

Is Michael Vaughan slowly becoming Brian Close?

The receding hairline, the increasing lack of humour, no lips.  Is it just me? [images: Getty]

 

Vaughan was excluded from Ashes

Michael Vaughan has spoken out about the fact that he felt "shut out" of the Ashes last winter.  In an interview with The Guardian he stated, "A lot was spoken in the winter about me being involved, I was never involved at all in the Ashes and I think we could have used me more. I'm an Ashes-winning captain with a huge amount of knowledge on a lot of things and I wasn't used at all. It was made clear that I was to be kept away from the team, and I understood the reason, but there were times when I think I could have helped."

It is the nature of a man like Vaughan to feel such a way.  Vaughan, don't forget, is credited with most of the innovations that led to the victory in 2005; and he has enough quiet arrogance to believe that he can be a positive influence in any situation with the England team. 

However, I feel that the management were right to keep him out of the way, Flintoff was having a tough enough time without feeling that he was being usurped or undermined by the the Golden Boy of 2005.  Moreover, Vaughan was still recovering from injury and his time was better spent getting himself fit than lording it around the dressing room.

Strangely, in the World Cup, when he was fit and had a real chance to make a difference he did bugger all until a dead game against the Windies.  Good captain that Michael is, he needs to have bit more class about him than this moaning session masquerading as an interview if he wants to go down as one of the greats.  Scoring some bloody runs might help as well.

Michael Vaughan injured - AGAIN!

In a development that will surprise no-one, Mr Glass is injured again and a major doubt for the Lord's test on 17th May.  Glass had his finger broken batting for Yorkshire by Hampshire's Stuart Clark; an Australian.  Have you antipodean bully-boys not inflicted enough suffering on us?

The good news is that at least it's not some part of his leg again.

[photo: Getty Images]

Cricket's best news in a long, long time

The last few months have not been kind to cricket with poor fare offered by all sides except Australia at a shambolic World Cup and the still unsolved Bob Woolmer murder. So it was with great joy that The Googly read of Mike Brearley's (right, Getty Images) appointment as President of the MCC from October 2007.

Brearley is very much his own man (as the picture suggests) whose smooth public school vowels mask a steely resolve as hardened as any Yorkshire fast bowler's. He also wrote the celebrated "The Art of Captaincy" rightly lauded as the definitive work on cricket captaincy, but actually more of a manual on how to conduct oneself in life. His journalism is never less than thoughful and penetrating.

MCC may have lost many of its powers since the days of Empire, but it's a platform, and JM Brearley won't waste an opportunity like that. [The Tooting Trumpet]

Brian Lara retires from international cricket

Brian Charles Lara, in my opinion the greatest batsman of his generation, has retired from all forms of international cricket.  This decision follows his earlier one to retire from ODIs, and frankly he has probably made this further call after being told he is unlikely to be selected for the tour to England next month.  But, to continue the theme here at The Googly of honouring departing people's greatest moments, have a look at Lara breaking the test innings record for the second time against England.  [lee calvert]

Cricket World Cup: fallout continues in sub-continent

Whilst Pakistan today confirmed the predicted appointment of Shoaib Malik to the captaincy for the remainder of 2007, the bigwigs in India were wrestling with a much larger selection issue: the squad for the tour of Bangladesh, due to be announced tomorrow.

There will surely be some culling following not only the perfomances in the World Cup, but a generally lacklustre year all round for Indian cricket; and it is the senior players: Tendulkar, Ganguly, Sehwag, Harbajhan and Irfan Patel, who will no doubt be most nervous.  Tendulkar will surely not be dropped, likewise Ganguly, who no longer has arch-nemesis Greg Chappell in his way; but I'm not so sure about the others.

Some younger players will come into the batting, fresh minds with strong shoulders that have not yet been weighed down with the burden of national expectation.  Clever money is on Manoj Tewari of Bengal and Rohit Sharma of Mumbai.  Also expect Sreesanth, criminally overlooked for the Cricket World Cup, to return.  [lee calvert] 

England and ODI cricket - the radical solution

After England's grisly exit from a World Cup is it time for a Grizzly entrance?

Chris "Grizzly" Adams has won plenty in the English domestic game and averages a very useful 40 in one-day cricket. He has fashioned a team in his own image at Sussex: not supremely talented, but combative; not aesthetically pleasing, but effective; not well liked, but much respected. His teams find ways to win. Wouldn't a dose of that go down well with England now?

At 37 next month, would Adams be tempted by a Player-Coach role this year for the England ODI team, grooming Ravi Bopara as the next ODI captain with himself as coach? We know from the okey-cokey Yorkshire farce that he can be tempted by a new challenge, and what bigger challenge than England's ODI team?

And for an encore, why not engage his sparring partner from the 1993 Benson and Hedges Final, Wasim Akram as ODI and Test bowling coach to get the reverse swing back for England? The doosra and reverse swing are the two biggest weapons in cricket - and England have neither.

The Trumpet's ODI team would look like this:

Benning, Cook, KP, Colly, Adams (captain), Bopara (v-c), Flintoff, Nixon, Plunkett, Jones / Hoggard, Monty.

[The Tooting Trumpet]

 

Shoaib Malik to be named Pakistan captain

Batting all rounder Shoaib Malik is being touted as the next Pakistan captain, with the 25-year-old likely to be given the role until September.  There have been whispers in the PCB for a while about Malik's potential as a captain, but it is still an unexpected appointment.

Younis Khan has already refused the captaincy, citing pressures of the World Cup exit.  Mohammad Yousuf has given a green light to his own appointment and has far more experience than Malik; he is also in the form of his life.  Perhaps that tells us the answer as to why he was not considered. The PCB do not want their best batsmen to fall foul of the pressures of captaincy and start batting like the England middle order.  Also, there is very little happening for Pakistan until September, the big series' coming in Dec 07 - Apr 08 with both India and Australia visiting.  This could be the perfect period to blood a new, young captain.  [lee calvert]

Cricket World Cup - In praise of bits and pieces

Trent Johnston is cricket's version of Jack Charlton - a foreigner who has taken an Irish sporting team to unprecedented heights, through as full an understanding of the Irish culture as a man born on O'Connell Street who habitually carries a copy of Ulysses under one arm leaving the other free for the Guinness.

But he is also a fine example of the much-maligned figure, the Bits and Pieces Player (BPP).

The King of the BPPs for my generation was Jeremy Coney, now an er... distinctive broadcaster. He was almost a carbon-copy of Trent, bowling strictly medium pace, batting down the order, and captaining very shrewdly indeed - Trent even looks like JC! His Test record is almost perfect for the BPP: batting average 37; bowling average 35. Sitting next to JC alphabetically is another fine BPP from New Zealand, Bevan Congdon, who batted 32 and bowled 36.

Other countries have their own versions of BPPs. For Pakistan, Mudassar Nazar averaged 38 with both bat and ball, whilst India's Manoj Prabhakar turns in 33 with the bat and 37 with the ball. Even Australia have flirted with the BPP. After 53 Tests (the Manchester Test of 1993 - you know, Warne to Gatting), Steve Waugh averaged 37 with the bat and 45 with the ball - but he did improve!

All these players look like all-rounders, but they're not really, as neither of their skills is quite good enough to nail down a regular place - nevertheless, the top drawer BPP is a very useful member of any team. Duncan Fletcher likes them (he calls them multi-dimensional, but they're BPPs really). Ashley Giles has made the 50 Test club as an out an out BPP with figures of 21 with the bat and a shocking 40 with the ball. I reckon Ravi can beat that, don't you?

[The Tooting Trumpet]

ECB to allow players to refer to TV umpire

The ECB has decided that in this year's Friends Provident trophy players may refer decisions to the  TV umpire if they disagree with a decision given by the on-field official.  Referrals can only be made by either the captain of the fielding side, the batsman or the specific fielder involved; and a team will only be allowed two unsuccessful referrals before they lose the privilege.

Dickie Bird is not happy with it, stating that this rule will make umpires "nothing more than glorified hatstands", and frankly it is hard to disagree with him.  The ECB have stated that the reason they want to pilot this approach is to "achieve even more correct decisions"; but if they were so keen to do this why not simply give the 3rd umpire more responsibility?

For example, if LBW was given when there was a blatant inside edge - think Damien Martyn in the Ashes - then they could very quickly communicate with the umpire that this was the case.  It would probably mean that all decisions would take as long as Steve Bucknor's, but surely this is preferable to this half-baked "point of order Mr. Umpire!" method that is proposed?

The process could then be: bowler appeals - field umpire informs TV umpire of his decision - TV umpire informs if anything is obviously wrong with it - decision.  However, the on-field umpire must always have the final say, whatever the opinion of the 3rd umpire.
[lee calvert]

Cricket World Cup: Lara retires from ODIs

Brian Lara has retired from one day internationals, but he intends to play test cricket until after his 40th birthday or at least until he is dropped.

Lara has stated that he wants to leave the team playing better, so he has two games left in this tournament to see if he can achieve this. I suppose we can gauge what the squad really think of him by their reaction in these matches. 

Lara himself will no doubt fancy a big score so that the public will remember him for what he did best; rather than for arguably what he did worst, namely inspiring those around him.  [lee calvert]

Cricket World Cup, dressing room tapes: England, Easter Sunday evening

After an extraordinary series of events over the past few days when we have seen our moles and hobbits chased from the hotel by Duncan Fletcher and Michael Vaughan swearing that they'll "(expletive deleted) kill anyone who leaks", it is miraculous that yet again our heroes have found a way to infiltrate the England dressing-room and gain some insight into how the team is feeling.

With the threats hanging over us, we should take this opportunity to make it clear that none of our reports have been authorised in any way, and we are not in the pay of any press barons. I thank you. We just feel, as all England fans feel, that we are entitled to use whatever underhand means are at our disposal to bring you the information you need.

(much hissing and background noise - gradually the tape becomes clearer)

Michael Vaughan:  that was bad, boys, that was really bad. We're really up against it now, and if it weren't for that freak result with the Bangla boys yesterday, we'd be long gone. I don't know what to say.

Kevin: Hey, Mikey - don't get so down. I did bloody well. I got my ton (slight hissing, probably Flintoff) and f***'s sake, I caught a stonkingly great catch - bugger that it didn't count, but that was just the  umpires getting the rules wrong. You know I did good, and I know that too. I'm a bloody hero, and you can count on me. (Muffled comments only word discernible appears to be "figjam").

Paul C: and me too, I did my bit (except with the bat is heard muttered by more than a few of the lads), and bowled like a good'un. It's not my fault we lost.

Bell: and Mr Captain, Sir, you told me to get a good total, and I've done that. Please can I go back to my room now, I'm not a naughty boy this time.

MV: yeah OK, Ian and Kev, you can go. You've followed the plan, and there's nothing more I need to say to you. Colly - I need you to stay, you're my right-hand man and we've gotta try and do something before we're out, down, and totally gone.

Ravi - You did okay with the bat, but we need more from you for the team. Don't you bowl at all? If you could be a bit more like Colly, we'd have a player in you son.

Fred - The bowling I like, but what is it with those feet batting? Even when you move them, you put them in the wrong place. After all those tapes Duncan made us sit through, you still couldn't pick Hogg. I've seen the dismissal and even I was laughing. Those Press buddies of yours might not be so kind I tell you. (Muffled - gets a bit of heat off me though).

Straussy - I know you want to be like me and everything, but don't play exactly the same shot to exactly the same bowler unless I'm hitting it for four... (well I have hit fours before you know). Big chance Straussy - blew it.

Badger - Sit down. I've still got the headache now and hopefully so has Punter. Can't remember anything you did at all.

Jimmy - Just needed a bit of luck there.

Saj - I'll talk to you privately.... Where's Liam?

Monty - You look tired lad - too many nets maybe? Knowing Duncan, he'll tell you to take the season off. Joking Monty, joking... don't get upset.

God knows who made the rules up for this tournament, but my agent says we're still in it (so you can't book your flight home yet Jamie). We just need to beat... er... whoever we play in the next three games. Probably the Saffers, India and Scotland. Straussy - can you check please and find out where we're going too and for God's sake make sure the driver doesn't go to the old ground first, then insist we use the park and ride.

[The Tooting Trumpet & Mimitig]

Cricket World Cup: England vs Australia - Ponting’s Team Talk

With the ICC preoccupied with stopping five-year-olds bringing bottles of Kia-Ora into the grounds, and people watching cricket for free, it seems oblivious to the bugging of the captains’ meetings. In a new development, a tape of Ricky Ponting’s team briefing prior to the Aussies taking on England has been acquired by The Tooting Trumpet and Mimitig and is transcribed below.

Ricky Ponting: Right fellas sit down. Aw look mate, put the bicep away Symo, we know you’re okay now, you don’t need to parade it, especially in the morning - and Haydos, you shouldn't be encouraging him.

Okay we're not in the semis yet and it's those Poms on Sunday, so if any of you bastards felt like coasting, just have a look at this slide on the powerpoint - (massed booing, swearing and the breaking of glass). That's right Sir Paul Collingwood MBE – or that’s what he thinks he should be after his performances in the CB series. But all that's in the past now (sotto voce "like Mr Cricket's 100 average") so it's Tough Shit Tough Guy from here.

Glenn, concentrate will you, not many more of these for you so stay with the programme.

Shane - how's the shoulder? Or is it the arm? Or leg? Whatever? Do you feel up to a two over spell, 'cos that's all I'm giving you anyway.

Brads - Which one of you two will get the nod? Well, I'm going with you Hodgey – er… hang on (sound of paper being unfolded). (Muffled - Jeez, why do they sit together?). Hoggy, Hoggy - it's you I'm going with against the Poms. We all know they can't play back of the hand stuff, even yours, and KP doesn’t even read Murali's doosra (quiet hissing) - everyone knows that's the one that starts behind his ear. Hodgey - stay loose for the dead rubbers to come.

Pup? Pup? - Where's Michael? Well come out from behind it then. Don't see why you need to bring a surfboard in here anyway. Any texts from Shane? I heard he's back with his wife...(Muffled - Okay, someone else's wife then). Symo, that's not funny - sort him out Haydos. Anyway, did Shane mention anything about that stuff he's promised me? No, not his Mother's pills - the er... hair stuff. Haydos - for Christ sake, take the tinny off him and get him to sit still.

Gilly – Can you stop looking at the phone for a moment? I know the kid’s just been born and all that, but you’ve got two others and any other bloke would give his right arm to be here instead of nappy-changing.

Right lads, for those of you playing golf or er… surfing, when England last lost, Buchanan has made up this video for us. Well don’t sigh. It’s all bullshit except this bit at the end. That’s Chavi Bopara (muffled – that’s right isn’t it?) and he played like one of us at the death vs the Lankans. Okay – he got a bit lucky, but he’s only 21 so I want you Haydos and you Symo to get in his earhole from the off - right. The rest of the Poms were rubbish, but you knew that anyway.

Bowling? Just the usual stuff will do for the Poms. Vaughan can’t bat, Bell can’t get it off the square, that Irish lad has hit the only hundred he’ll ever make, for KP bowl at the ego – can’t miss it – Flintoff’s forgotten how to bat and then it’s the tail. Just watch that Colly and the new lad.

Okay – that’s it. You can go now, except Michael. (Muffled – it’s that hair stuff. Well it worked for him and Gooch. Course I’ll pay. Just tell him to hurry up with it.)

Tape ends.
[The Tooting Trumpet and Mimitig]

ICC Cricket World Cup: England resort to sports psychology

Once more a tape has fallen into the hands of Mimitig and The Tooting Trumpet (see this blog for earlier breaches of team security). Experts have confirmed the identities of the voices on the transcript below.

 

Thursday April 5, Antigua

 

Michael Vaughan: Lads, lads. Let’s pick this thing up shall we? Okay you can put down your shiny new Wisdens - thanks Monty – and listen. Jamie - you can stop reading it to Liam now too.

 

It was always going to be a tough game against the Lankans – they may only be a small island off a much larger land mass, but we all know that they are good (especially you eh Straussy after the 5-0 last Summer). It’s only a few days since that fine win over (muffled - who was it Straussy?) Ireland. Come Sunday, we’ll see if I can continue my resurrection of English cricket won’t we?

Bit of a change of tack now (that's what you should have done it that pedalo Fred), because I'm handing over to one of Duncan's mates, Jeremy Snape (yes, get the Professor Snape gags over now please) who some of you may know from County Cricket (that’s you Jamie). He played some ODIs when the likes of Matthew Fleming and Mark Ealham were getting a game, but he's a Sports Psychiatrist these days

(muffled - well that's what I said...) Sorry, he's a Sports Psychologist these days and Duncan wants us to listen (muffled - Duncan wants his head testing).

 

Professor Jeremy Snape: Thanks Michael. I've prepared a powerpoint (Straussy - would you be so kind - thanks) and I've some handy cards with slogans on them for you to take away. (Muffled Flintoff - Didn't we do all this with Bumble and his Churchill stuff?)

 

Goal setting - Who can tell me what their personal goal is for the next six months? Okay Liam, I'd want to be back driving too, but I'm looking for something related to cricket. Straussy - Good, good. Back making runs for England. Ed – don’t look so glum – let’s keep the glass half full shall we? (Not you Fred).

 

Improving self-confidence - Look how confident Fred, Straussy, Michael and Colly sound here after winning the Ashes all that time ago. Well, even if it is the beer talking, it's still confidence isn't it?

 

Concentration and focus - Just have a look at Fred's focus here. Okay, it's his interview after his booze cruise, but you have to admit, that's impressive.

 

Relaxation techniques – Calm, quiet breathing is essential here. Can you hear me Paul? Do you have to wear that gum shield? Relaxing will get you into “The Zone”.

 

Mental toughness – The Aussies show this facet of the game so well. Straussy just tap “Australian Captain’s Press conference” into youtube and let’s see how they project that toughness… (muffled – not Kim Hughes… isn’t there anything of Ponting?)

 

Visualisation – Prior to executing a skill, it’s crucial to visualise the whole process from start to finish if you are to perform it to your potential. In your mind’s eye, you should see off stump cartwheeling out of the ground – not you Ed, I know that’s what happened against the Irish, but you’re a batter. As he was running in, don’t you think Fernando visualised Ravi’s stumps shattered by that last ball? I know I did.

 

Communication – All of you should aim to communicate like the best talker on the field. Okay, not like him – maybe the second best talker. Oh for heaven’s sake, surely you can hear somebody on the field other than Nixon?

 

Leadership skills – How important is leadership to the side? Well, don’t jut sit there looking at Fred, let’s hear some answers. Paul showed excellent leadership skills throughout that partnership with Ravi, until he blew it at the end.

 

Team dynamics – Everyone must know their role and their colleagues’ roles. Turn to the person next to you and tell them what your role is. (Muffled – Okay Liam, I don’t know either, but let’s try and stay positive eh?)

 

Any questions?

 

Yes Jamie - I have got a degree in this. Is it relevant which team I’m supporting in the Boat Race on Saturday? Oh, I see. Well, yes, the degree is from a proper university.

 

"The Zone" Ravi? I was talking about getting into "The Zone". It means the mental space in which a player is completely relaxed and at ease with their game. No, I didn’t mean that nightclub in Ilford.

 

Well it’s a nice enough beach I suppose when you’re in Sydney. Sorry, thought you said Bondi. Bonding is key yes, but it needn’t involve alcohol even for men. Yes, even Englishmen.

 

Okay, well think about what I’ve said tonight and read your cards. I’ll be in touch with you for one-to-one sessions over the next week. No – No – Of course I don’t do horoscopes.

 

Tape ends. [The Tooting Trumpet and Mimitig]

Now Steve Harmison pipes up about Fredalo

Steve Harmison has thrown his twopenneth into the debate raging over Andrew Fintoff.  In an interview with the Guardian Harmison stated that, "They had to do something, but I thought maybe [sacking him from the vice-captaincy] is going a little too far."

Harmison, it must be remembered is the man who decided not to bother coming to the World Cup, and as a direct result our seam attack has about as much penetration as spear with a sponge head, so I think it's a little rich for him to be dictating team policy from the comfort of his armchair. [lee calvert]

Rachael Flintoff pipes up about Fredalogate

In a quite blatant, "I'm not angry with Andrew so neither should you lot be" interview in today's UK Daily Mirror, Rachael Flintoff has come out with the startling revelation that her husband is a "stupid bugger" following his late night Fredalo antics last Friday.

The rest of the interview is taken up with lots of talk of how he is a wonderful father, that it is difficult for him being a highly paid sports star and that Rachael has some skimpy bikinis for him to gawp at when she joins him the Caribbean.   No doubt Fred will be pleased that his PR professional loving wife has spoken up in such a way.

The Daily Mirror used to be a serious newspaper believe it or not.  [lee calvert]

Flintoff is very, very (hic!) sorry

Andrew Flintoff has broken his silence following his nautical adventures on Friday night.  In a statement, Freddie said "I know what I did was completely wrong and I have to take full responsbility. There can be no excuses on my part. I know I shouldn't have done what I did."  He is also insisting that he will give his all for the cause and that he accepts his punishment.  He then allegedly asked if someone could find him some Alka-Seltzer, a fry-up and lots of water.

Given that Freddie is England's best bowler by a mile even after he has had 17 Rum & Cokes, it's hardly surprising that he would try his normal boozy preparations on the medicore Anderson and Lewis.  Judging by yesterday's result, it didn't work.

Sunil Gavaskar is not happy

Gavaskar was famous for his strops, he once managed to sulk for an entire innings at a one-day game in 1975 and simply refused to play properly.  Here is some footage of him having a complete tammy-huff in 1981 after a questionable lbw decision.  He even gets the batsman at the other end involved, poor bloke..

[lee calvert]

World Cup Greatest Moments: Duncan Fletcher single-handedly beats the Aussies

Duncan Fletcher was not always the England coach of moribund countenance that we know today, he was once the Zimbabwe captain and chief all-rounder of moribund countenance.  In 1983 Zimbabwe played their first ever international fixture against Australia in the World Cup, and one imagines they were hoping for a more auspicious start to international cricket than being 94-5 in their innings.  Then came Fletcher who hit an unbeaten 69 to set the Aussies the tricky target of 239 to chase.  But he was not finished there,  jowly Duncan then decided to open the bowling and proceeded to knock down all four of the opening batsmen in a mesmerising 11 over spell.  Australia rallied but ultimately fell 13 runs short and Fletcher was seen to do a sort of a smile. A bit.

They say history informs the future, and this snippet of Duncan the player helps us understand why Fletcher the coach loves mediocre allrounders of the likes of Porky Dalrymple so much.  [lee calvert]

Flintoff appointed vice captain

The news that Andrew Flintoff has been appointed captain for when if Michael Vaughan's glass knee should give way in the Caribbean has proved a couple of things.  One is that Fred is up for anything, as we all knew already.  But it also proves that the England selectors have adopted 'pig headed' as a badge of honour that they take very seriously.

Flintoff was a failure as captain in the Ashes, and the fact that England beat Australia in the CB series is not enough recompense to reinstate him; but in the face of Strauss's appalling form, the wise men at Lord's are not brave enough to give it to anyone else.  Don't get me wrong,  Freddie on form is our best player but if history has taught us anything it is that the best players do not make the best captains (see Lara, BC. 1996) and particularly if they are all-rounders (see Botham, IT. 1981).

[lee calvert]

Gough back to Yorkshire?

Professional gob-on-legs Darren Gough may be on his way back to his one true love for the 2007 season, as Yorkshire have come calling.  The white rose county are apparently struggling for a captain and a dance partner for Craig White and the roly-poly former test bowler is a prime candidate for both following his 3 year spell at Essex.

In other Yorkshire-related news, Anthony McGrath is trying to run away from the club as fast as his podgy legs will carry him but the chairman has tied him to a post whilst they row about his contract.
[lee calvert]

England v Sri Lanka, Edgbaston, 1st day

Weird day. England ruined Sri Lanka, and realistically ought to have dismissed them for no more than 90. That they reached 141 had little to do with their ability and more to do with England's indifference. They appear flat, mildly complacent and are lacking the arse-kicking Michael Vaughan would provde them. Wonderful cricketer though Andrew Flintoff is, and as well as he captained today, he is not Vaughan and England are missing him. He's so inexperienced that I feel guilty even hinting annoyance at his inability to post a short-leg, or his reactionary leadership. But we can only report on what we see...

As for Monty, well, I'm afraid Parmeson Tony is on borrowed ground. I found it all very amusing initially, but his dropped catch today prevented England from bowling Sri Lanka out for under 100. Now, as it happens, it ought not to matter too greatly. But as my editor, Andrew Miller, pointed out, if Monty can drop a sitter at the most patriotically English ground, what in the name of colourful turbans will he be like at Brisbane in November? This isn't an attack against him in any way. He seems like the most stand-up sort of chap you could ask for, and is the most talented left-arm spinner we've had since Phil Tufnell. But sadly his fielding is just not up to scratch and on current form could easily cost England a Test against better countries than Sri Lanka. Sorry Monty.

Him aside, England just don't seem to be on their game. Take Andrew Strauss. He can't catch a cold, and even when batting he doesn't look as assured or composed as he so often is. His run out today, albeit not without Alastair Cook's help, rather demonstrates a player struggling to start the summer.

So it's all a bit weird, frankly. The highlight was watching Liam Plunkett bowl, who bowled much fuller and is quicker through the air that I first thought. Very impressive indeed. Tomorrow, with Pietersen looking in absolute prime form, could be carnage for Sri Lanka

Couldn't catch a cold

England's ten dropped catches cost them their opening Test of the summer. Cue tabloid headlines of a "pathetic" team and so forth, but was the draw (remember, England drew the Test; they did not lose it!) that bad a result?

Yes, they should have won. That they didn't said more about their stand-in captain, Andrew Flintoff, than it did about a team on an apparent slippery slope of decline. England are not in decline. In the Test, they showed just how much strength in depth they have, with Alastair Cook appearing to have played Test cricket for 30 years; Monty Panesar bowling with control, loop and flight (so early in the season, too); Kevin Pietersen proving his 158 last summer was no fluke and Sajid Mahmood showing a great deal of promise, and bounce.

Flintoff led from the front in India, where he puffed out his chest and said "Once more unto the breach, dear team, once more". It was different at Lord's; familiar, cosy, English conditions. Warm one day, cool the next and always the looming threat of clouds to assist his bowlers, after Marcus Trescothick had notched a welcome hundred on his return to the side, he probably felt Sri Lanka would be steam-rollered inside three days. England lacked a cutting edge, a fight - they fell flat of their own expectations, and lacked Michael Vaughan's rocket-up-the-arse speeches.

England and her fans will nervously watch Vaughan in the nets in the coming days. We need him to bat well, but we need his brain and tactics just as much.

Leadership and followship

I don't think I'm alone in expressing surprise at the ability of Andrew Flintoff as a captain. It's not to do him a disservice, you understand - it's simply the realisation of the unexpected. Simon Barnes, in today's Times, offers a fascinating analysis of Flintoff and the importance of leadership:

Flintoff’s leadership against India was not a matter of tactical brilliance. Obviously, the man is no fool, but he didn’t win in Bombay by out-thinking his opposite number. He did so by the way in which the team followed. Leadership of this kind — leadership of any successful kind — is a moral quality. It is not a matter of giving orders, it is about being followed.

(continued below)

I couldn't agree more. Aside from his batting, bowling and slip-catching, Flintoff's similarity with Ian Botham surely lies in their "I'll show you how to do it" attitude. Almost a backs-to-the-wall refusal to be anything other than a success, and he shares the same unifying, bonding quality which Botham possessed. He is, though, arguably better than Botham in this respect in terms of his public persona. No dirty news stories have been unearthed about Flintoff, and nor do we expect them. The front page of most of the UK broadsheets (mind you, no such thing anymore) yesterday portrayed the England captain, delicately kissing his newborn baby; he had been due to be at the birth of his second child for the second Test, but with the glut of injuries affecting England, he chose to stay with his squad.

It is these little touches of humanity and normality that endear him to the public, and clearly endear him to his team-mates. So it's not so much his tactical nous that has been revealed in India as his ability to lead. A rare talent before the tour to India - even rarer now.

Will Luke writes for Cricinfo.com and edits The Corridor of Uncertainty