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Cricket: Chess on Grass?
The splendid Pat Murphy of BBC Radio FiveLive often describes Test cricket as "Chess on Grass". But if it were chess on grass, we would need to name some of the tactics - over the jump you'll find the Trumpet's suggestions inspired by the last few days.
The Singh Defence - You claim that because not everyone heard something, it wasn't actually said.
The Ponting Gambit - You offer to settle dubious catches by taking the fielder's word. Your opponent accepts: Checkmate!
The Kumble Gambit Declined - You offer to sort the problem out without involving the officials - this strategy goes nowhere.
The Hogg Variation - You require your opponent to introduce pieces previous off the board, then take them.
The BCCI - The King (and Queen).
Peter Roebuck - The Bishop.
Symonds and Singh - Pawns
Ponting - Not a Knight.
Procter - The clock. Every time someone makes a move, he gets thumped.
Board - Not black and white squares, just shades of grey.
[The Tooting Trumpet] [Image: Getty]
January 9, 2008 in Australian cricket, General musings, Indian cricket, News Pavilion | Permalink | 
Stumble It!
Comments
From the Spirit of the Game Handbook:
- Passed Prawn Gambit - where a player can be removed for simply passing close by, even though a direct confrontation may have not actually been witnessed (or even occured)...
move can be declined by either side if any common sense in evidence
- Raw Prawn Opening - or "the secret sledge" - where the keeper whispers things partly audible to the batsman (but inaudible to stumpcammike)...
e.g. first slip - moderate tone: "what was that line about not hearing people who cheat?"
keeper - strong half audible toned whisper: "deaf to all sneaks"
Response - The Raw Prawn Opening can be brilliantly countered by the Chapellian White Cheeck Offensive where the trousers are briefly dropped and buttocks aimed momentarily in the direction of the gap between keeper and first slip - an appropriate sound can be made to underpin the move and further disconcert the keeper, especially if the keeper is standing up.
Posted by: doctorshoot | 9 Jan 2008 21:47:19
maybe to prevent the sledging being overheard the slip and keeper will take a radio out and play loud music to cover up their devious sledging.
Such as
See that piece of dog shit? Thats you that is!
You know that tramp outside the stadium, the one with BO that can melt lead at 100paces? Thats your girlfriend that is!
Oh the Mary Whitehous Experience, where are you when we need you?
Posted by: AndyinBrum | 9 Jan 2008 22:43:55
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