ICC Cricket World Cup: England resort to sports psychology

Once more a tape has fallen into the hands of Mimitig and The Tooting Trumpet (see this blog for earlier breaches of team security). Experts have confirmed the identities of the voices on the transcript below.

 

Thursday April 5, Antigua

 

Michael Vaughan: Lads, lads. Let’s pick this thing up shall we? Okay you can put down your shiny new Wisdens - thanks Monty – and listen. Jamie - you can stop reading it to Liam now too.

 

It was always going to be a tough game against the Lankans – they may only be a small island off a much larger land mass, but we all know that they are good (especially you eh Straussy after the 5-0 last Summer). It’s only a few days since that fine win over (muffled - who was it Straussy?) Ireland. Come Sunday, we’ll see if I can continue my resurrection of English cricket won’t we?

Bit of a change of tack now (that's what you should have done it that pedalo Fred), because I'm handing over to one of Duncan's mates, Jeremy Snape (yes, get the Professor Snape gags over now please) who some of you may know from County Cricket (that’s you Jamie). He played some ODIs when the likes of Matthew Fleming and Mark Ealham were getting a game, but he's a Sports Psychiatrist these days

(muffled - well that's what I said...) Sorry, he's a Sports Psychologist these days and Duncan wants us to listen (muffled - Duncan wants his head testing).

 

Professor Jeremy Snape: Thanks Michael. I've prepared a powerpoint (Straussy - would you be so kind - thanks) and I've some handy cards with slogans on them for you to take away. (Muffled Flintoff - Didn't we do all this with Bumble and his Churchill stuff?)

 

Goal setting - Who can tell me what their personal goal is for the next six months? Okay Liam, I'd want to be back driving too, but I'm looking for something related to cricket. Straussy - Good, good. Back making runs for England. Ed – don’t look so glum – let’s keep the glass half full shall we? (Not you Fred).

 

Improving self-confidence - Look how confident Fred, Straussy, Michael and Colly sound here after winning the Ashes all that time ago. Well, even if it is the beer talking, it's still confidence isn't it?

 

Concentration and focus - Just have a look at Fred's focus here. Okay, it's his interview after his booze cruise, but you have to admit, that's impressive.

 

Relaxation techniques – Calm, quiet breathing is essential here. Can you hear me Paul? Do you have to wear that gum shield? Relaxing will get you into “The Zone”.

 

Mental toughness – The Aussies show this facet of the game so well. Straussy just tap “Australian Captain’s Press conference” into youtube and let’s see how they project that toughness… (muffled – not Kim Hughes… isn’t there anything of Ponting?)

 

Visualisation – Prior to executing a skill, it’s crucial to visualise the whole process from start to finish if you are to perform it to your potential. In your mind’s eye, you should see off stump cartwheeling out of the ground – not you Ed, I know that’s what happened against the Irish, but you’re a batter. As he was running in, don’t you think Fernando visualised Ravi’s stumps shattered by that last ball? I know I did.

 

Communication – All of you should aim to communicate like the best talker on the field. Okay, not like him – maybe the second best talker. Oh for heaven’s sake, surely you can hear somebody on the field other than Nixon?

 

Leadership skills – How important is leadership to the side? Well, don’t jut sit there looking at Fred, let’s hear some answers. Paul showed excellent leadership skills throughout that partnership with Ravi, until he blew it at the end.

 

Team dynamics – Everyone must know their role and their colleagues’ roles. Turn to the person next to you and tell them what your role is. (Muffled – Okay Liam, I don’t know either, but let’s try and stay positive eh?)

 

Any questions?

 

Yes Jamie - I have got a degree in this. Is it relevant which team I’m supporting in the Boat Race on Saturday? Oh, I see. Well, yes, the degree is from a proper university.

 

"The Zone" Ravi? I was talking about getting into "The Zone". It means the mental space in which a player is completely relaxed and at ease with their game. No, I didn’t mean that nightclub in Ilford.

 

Well it’s a nice enough beach I suppose when you’re in Sydney. Sorry, thought you said Bondi. Bonding is key yes, but it needn’t involve alcohol even for men. Yes, even Englishmen.

 

Okay, well think about what I’ve said tonight and read your cards. I’ll be in touch with you for one-to-one sessions over the next week. No – No – Of course I don’t do horoscopes.

 

Tape ends. [The Tooting Trumpet and Mimitig]