Goughie's big gob

I have to admit that when Sri Lanka were pissing all over England in the one-day series I did seriously long for someone of Darren Gough’s calibre as a one-day bowler. I even, momentarily, honoured the notion of recalling him. But then, he is so very old and so very up his own derriere - in his own cheeky, impish and mildly endearing manner - that I’ve binned the prospect of him ever returning, especially when he sounds off like this:

“I never give up and I’m determined to get back in but the only reason I’m not selected was the fact I did Strictly Come Dancing,” he told BBC Five Live.

“The reason I took the winter off was to spend some time with my children and it was the best winter I’ve had.”

Who is he trying to kid? He spent the winter prancing around for some extra dosh. He ends it with:

If I don’t get a recall for the Pakistan series, I’m not going to get the recall

Well, duh.