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Cricket limerick competition: win stuff!
It's early days at The Googly, but I thought it high time to launch a competition. Limericks are a lot of fun (and actually require some thought, too) so your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to produce the best limerick (emphasis on trying to make me laugh, please) - and here's your starting line:
England were in such a mess
We have two brilliant prizes from Crease Clothing, who make these fantastic cricket T-Shirts with funny and wacky cricketing slogans emblazened on them. “CHEEKY SINGLE” (for the ladies), "There's nothing wrong with trying to PULL EVERYTHING", "Great catch" and "You don't need SNOW to go sledging" among others. They're all great fun, are available in a variety of sizes and, best of all, are completely cricket-oriented. For the true cricket nut.
Now then, the rules and things:
What is a limerick?
A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700s.
Example
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were caught, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee."
"Let us fly," said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Easy. And here's another (far poorer) example:
England were in such a mess
They needed more players - not less!
But Flintoff stood tall
And Monty bowled them all
I'm sorry to say - I digress!
Really, really terrible - I apologise. But at least it gives you something to aim for and, hopefully, better. I'll run the compo until the end of the second Test, and might do another for the third. Available to all - just leave a comment, and make sure your email address is valid.
Check out Crease Clothing now if you can't be bothered to win a free one!
Will Luke writes for Cricinfo.com and edits The Corridor of Uncertainty
March 3, 2006 in Competitions | Permalink | 
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Comments
England were in such a mess
That Flintoff might have to drink less
A bad batch of curry
Got the runs started early
And no Gilo, Jones, Vaughnie or Tres
England were in such a mess
Adding players as fast as they could dress
In whites for the test
But they're doing their best
And it's India now feeling the stress
England were in such a mess
From bad curry, bad joints or just stress
So they have young guys instead
And the captain is Fred
And they're doing pretty well now, I guess
England were in such a mess
Of players they had less and less
But the new guys they brought
Simply dug in and fought
And who's winning is anyone's guess
Posted by: Alan R | 3 Mar 2006 23:26:45
Give the guy named Alan a T-shirt already, and a case of Guinness. And send Blackwell home!
Posted by: Feroz Faisal Dawson | 4 Mar 2006 05:21:36
England were in such a mess
Given no chance by the press
But then Colly fought back
And Hoggy rocked the deck
And India now have some issues to redress.
Posted by: Pratik Shah | 4 Mar 2006 06:46:49
Here are a few of mine own humble offerings:
England were in such a mess
And Sky, BBC TMS,
Coverage in patches,
Have you missed any catches?
We’re glued to our screens, none the less.
England were in such a mess
Giles, Jonesy then Vaughknee and Tres,
Fred leads the good fight
With all of his might
But the winner is anyone’s guess.
England were in such a mess
But Hog gets them all under duress
He tries hard to fix ‘er
With a fantastic six-er
And a field day for all of the Press.
Posted by: Wraye | 4 Mar 2006 08:23:56
England were in such a mess,
with players off to convalesce,
but Monty and Cook,
and Colly, got stuck
into the indians nonetheless!
England were in such a mess,
delighting our hideous press,
they wrote off our chances,
but now Colly dances
down the wicket to a personal best!
Ok, they're pushing scansion a bit :)
Posted by: Chris Weston | 4 Mar 2006 09:33:35
England were in such a mess
That Duncan broadcast SOS
Now Cook's had a flier
Monty's tossing them higher
And still Jimmy looks on in distress.
Posted by: Trismegistus | 4 Mar 2006 09:58:12
England were in such a mess
The selectors could only guess
But in came three newbies
Who sure were not boobies
They could win the match - oh Yes!!
Posted by: Jerry Turner | 4 Mar 2006 10:52:12
England were in such a mess,
Oh no,you were wrong no less,
The 1st test on a platter,
All of india was in a tatter,
It's time we wore a dress !
PS: MINE,MINE,MINE ! The free t-shirt is mine !!
:))
Posted by: ritzkini | 4 Mar 2006 14:01:10
Very good so far! Keep them coming (you can enter as many times as your sanity permits)
Posted by: Will | 4 Mar 2006 16:38:34
England were in such a mess,
a lady was urged to undress,
in front of the team,
and thus make them scream,
'Please, show no more, Two-Ton Tess!'
England were in such a mess,
that Fletcher called up Mike Denness,
to ask his advice,
about not being nice,
and upsetting the Indian press
Posted by: Chris Weston | 4 Mar 2006 17:54:43
England were in such a mess,
that when Banger's wife said 'Come home, Tres!',
he said 'Return home I must,
you won't see me for dust,
I'll come back if we win the first Test!'
That's enough. I'm starting to go a bit barmy with rhymes for 'mess'.
Posted by: Chris Weston | 4 Mar 2006 17:58:18
Brilliant, Chris! Hmm...that'll be a tough one to beat.
Posted by: Will | 4 Mar 2006 19:14:52
Let's try this then. There's a first time for everything...
England were in such a mess,
and this was just the first test,
hoggy and cook,
were well worth a look,
now we're back for the rest.
England were in such a mess,
our leaders, vaughany and tres,
decided to run,
missed out on the fun,
now the new guys are beating the best.
Posted by: sophie | 5 Mar 2006 08:44:11
England were in such a mess,
'Find a Warne!', was Fletcher's request,
but men of that kind,
are as easy to find,
as the beast in the deeps of Loch Ness
Posted by: Chris Weston | 5 Mar 2006 11:34:21
England were in such a mess,
'we'll lose' was everyone's guess.
KP dropped a catch,
almost cost them the match,
'not six in a row' was the request.
England were in such a mess,
Staying at home was our Tres,
What's the matter?
Someone fall off a ladder?
'personal reasons' said the press.
Posted by: sophie | 6 Mar 2006 16:18:24
England were in such a mess,
When they couldn't their fondness suppress
For spicy Indian prawn curry,
Which caused no end of worry
But no shortage of "runs", I confess!
England were in such a mess,
And written off by the press
When Jones hobbled on one knee
Like his skipper Vaughnie
And Giles' hip still under duress
England were in such a mess
When in a manner most express
Returned home did old Tresco
When his wife learnt that his sexo
Was less with her than with Bess
Posted by: Ranjit Nair | 6 Mar 2006 21:17:20
England were in such a mess
That a loss seemed the obvious guess
But with Cook to the fore
They held on for a draw
And the squad looks all set for success.
Posted by: Evelyn | 8 Mar 2006 09:59:37
England were in such a mess
That Freddie was heard to confess
'Since Vaughany's not here
I'll give up the beer
And as captain I hope I'll impress'.
Posted by: Evelyn | 8 Mar 2006 10:09:55
England were in such a mess
Alistair thought no less....
So he waved his bat around
Made a century on that ground
He's probably tired , I guess
England were in such a mess
In all that heat and distress,
Cause Marcus went back,
Some guys hit the sack,
Everything too spicy, I guess.
England were in such a mess
Very worrying , i must confess;
But Monty with his spin
And Hoggard running in
All really worked out for the best...
Posted by: Mrs S. Date | 9 Mar 2006 12:35:50
Very very good, everyone. Winners will be announced tomorrow and emailed in person. Congrats!
Posted by: Will | 14 Mar 2006 20:52:15
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